Remembering
by Jimelda
Summary: Given a second chance, Kate hopes things will be different this time. But is Jack still the man she once loved or were they never meant to be? Mostly Jate with some Suliet. A different kind of reset fic. Slight AU. Chapter 16 is POSTED.
1. Arrival

**Title: **Remembering  
**Rating: **PG-13  
**Summary: **When Jack gets back to the island in S5, he can't remember the past three years. The last memory he has is getting on Flight 815. Now he has a chance to start over and how will he react? Who will help him along the way? One guess. ;)  
**A/N: **This is for everyone who wanted a Jate reset fic. There aren't very many out there and I know this isn't exactly the same kind of reset, but I hope it works. :) Spoilers for "316" and most season 5 episodes after that.

I got the idea for this story while waiting for season 5 to come out on DVD. I hadn't watched the new season yet and before I could, I read some spoilers (I couldn't help myself). When I learned that the people who stayed on the Island went back to the Dharma age, I assumed they had lost their memories of the present (or future, for the people of 1974). Of course, that didn't really happen, but I still thought it was a cool idea. So instead, I made a story about it, except now Jack is the one who forgets.

I'm really sorry I took such a long time to upload this, since I've been talking about it for so long, but the first chapter was really difficult to write. Hopefully it will get easier, but I can't promise that I'll have the next chapter up right away. Also, I'm not sure if this was what everyone was expecting - I hope you like it even if it isn't what you originally thought. And if you'd like me to write another chapter, please review and let me know. I'm going to try a poll at the end of this chapter, so tell me what you'd like to see happen. Thanks. :)

* * *

**Chapter 1: Arrival**

_All the things you said to me  
__And every lie that I believed,  
__I can't erase the memory.  
__I remember.  
_~ Shiloh, _I Remember_

The first thing Jack saw when he opened his eyes was green. At first he thought someone was playing a trick on him, because what he was seeing didn't make sense. Then, as his eyes slowly began to adjust, his mouth fell open at the sight in front of him.

Trees, high above his head, were swaying in the slight breeze. He could hear the sound of birds in the distance and he thought he smelled the ocean.

A strong feeling of confusion engulfed him and he stood up in panic. He noticed he was clutching something in his hand and saw it was a scrap of paper. The words that were written on it didn't make any sense, but before he could puzzle over it any longer, he heard a familiar sound. Someone was calling for help.

The doctor in him took over and in an instant he was on his feet, running through the jungle. Almost as if it was second nature to him.

As Jack ran, the piece of paper fluttered to the ground. The words _I wish_ clearly visible on it, along with his name.

Pushing through the dense foliage, he followed the shouts until he reached a clearing. A stream was running through it and he paused for a moment to listen.

The cry for help came again and he could tell it was coming from downstream. He followed the river until it came to a cliff. Peering down past the flow of water, he could see someone floating in the pool at the bottom.

"Help!" the person, a male, shouted once more. Jack didn't hesitate. He jumped down the waterfall, landing headfirst in the murky lake. He sank deeper, then began swimming towards the surface and soon his head was above the water.

Finally, when Jack was close enough to see who had been calling for help, he almost swam straight into a guitar case. Quickly angling out of the way, he saw a large man with curly brown hair who was struggling to stay afloat.

He reached out and grabbed onto the man, trying to keep his head from slipping underwater. "It's okay. You're okay. Relax." Years of working with patients had taught Jack to act reassuring and calm, even when he didn't feel that way himself. Tuning out the man's panicked exclamations, he breathed a quiet sigh of relief.

Then he felt his feet connect with something underneath him and he realized that the lake was much shallower than it appeared. "We can stand."

"What?" The other man looked at Jack with a shocked expression.

"We can stand," he repeated.

The man seemed skeptical, but he kicked down anyway and Jack knew he was relieved when he felt solid ground beneath him. "Oh. Oh, my god. It really happened," he said.

"What?" Jack didn't know what he meant. Suddenly the big man stared past Jack and his face fell. "What?" Jack demanded as he turned around to see what the man was looking at. He saw a woman with long brown hair lying on a pile of rocks, and she appeared to be unconscious.

He began wading through the water, feeling inexplicably drawn towards her. "Are you okay?" he asked, climbing onto the stones so that he could reach the woman. She didn't answer, but he hadn't been expecting her to. She continued to lie, unmoving, on the rocks.

Just as he bent down to begin performing CPR, she gasped and sat up, knocking her head against his. "Ah!" she exclaimed in a voice that was capable of sounding soft and caring, or hardened and defensive at the same time. He wasn't sure how he knew that, but he had the feeling that he'd met her before.

In fact, when she looked at him with her deep brown eyes, he knew that she was not a stranger to him. But then she blinked and the familiarity was gone.

"Are you okay?" he asked to distract himself, his own head beginning to throb. She rubbed her forehead and grimaced, then she seemed to realize for the first time where they were.

"Are we..." she trailed off, waiting for him to finish the sentence. But he wasn't sure what she wanted him to say.

"I don't know where we are. I just woke up in the jungle here." Her eyes squinted in confusion and he was unnerved by the way she was staring at him.

"We're on the Island, aren't we?" she asked.

"What island? What do you mean?" Jack was beginning to wonder if this woman was crazy. She obviously expected him to understand what was happening, except he felt nothing but confusion. Who was this woman, and the man standing in the water behind them? What island was she talking about? And why did he feel such a strange sense of déjà vu?

"You're the one who convinced me to come back here, Jack. So don't start playing games with me now," the woman snapped at him. He reeled back in shock. How did she know his name? "Jack? Why are you looking at me like that? What's wrong?"

"Who are you?" he shouted, frustration filling his voice. "And how do you know who I am?"

She glared at him, eyes narrowed in anger. They sat that way for a moment, gazing into each other's eyes, until she realized that he was serious. Then her face fell and all the anger drained away.

"You really don't know who I am, do you?" She sounded so defeated that his heart nearly broke, but he didn't want to lie to this woman. For some reason, he knew it would be a bad idea.

He paused, taking a moment to study her carefully. Wearing a purple jacket and black pants, he could almost picture her in a dirty white shirt and faded jeans - it didn't seem right for her to be wearing such fancy clothes. She seemed so familiar, but at the same time he was sure he'd never met her before.

"No. I have no idea who you are."

Kate's heart sunk when Jack continued to look at her, perplexed but trying not to show it. He was acting so polite, as if they were strangers meeting for the first time, and she didn't understand what was going on.

_Does Jack really not remember me?_ she asked herself. Judging by his reaction when she'd used his name, the answer was no. She wasn't sure how it had happened, didn't even think it was possible, but it was clear that Jack thought they'd never met before.

_Okay, so what am I supposed to do about that? _Her first thought was to play along, but it was a little too late for that. _Why did this have to happen to me? He finally convinces me to come back and this is what I get?_

But Kate wasn't about to let herself sink into misery. This wasn't about her. _If I'm upset, think about how Jack must be feeling right now_, she realized. She knew what it felt like to be confused and left out, and no matter how bad things had gotten between them off the Island, Kate didn't want Jack to feel like she once had. Then she got an idea.

This was her chance to start again with Jack. Every bad thing from their relationship appeared to be erased from his mind, so she could finally change things. And although it wasn't perfect, she hoped that a second chance would be just what they both needed. But before they could start any kind of relationship, Jack needed to know who she was.

"Well, I'm Kate," she told him kindly, sticking out her hand and expecting him to shake it. Instead, he just stared at her like she was nuts.

"Okay...Kate. How is it that you know my name, but I don't know you? And where exactly are we?" She knew that he was getting frustrated – he didn't like it when he couldn't understand something.

"I know your name, Jack, because I've known you for the past three years of my life." Kate realized that she was being very blunt, but before she could say another word, Jack jumped up.

"What is that supposed to mean? I don't know you, but you know me? Have you been stalking me or something?"

It hurt Kate to know that Jack would accuse her of something like that, but he wasn't himself at the moment, so she let it slide.

Of course, Hurley chose that moment to interrupt their conversation. "What are you guys doing? It's great that you're back together and everything, but shouldn't we be looking for the rest of the people from the plane?"

Kate nearly groaned in frustration. She'd been hoping to ease into the topic of the plane crash, and hopefully avoid talking about her relationship with Jack until he had a better idea of what was going on. But now that plan wasn't going to work either.

She could already see Jack getting worked up again. The first thing to do was calm him down. "Wha – " he began, but Kate cut him off.

"This is Hurley, Jack," she explained quickly. "You don't remember, but he's your friend too." That did nothing to ease Jack's confusion, however.

"What does he mean 'back together'? We're not in a relationship. There's no way I would date a woman who's stalking me! And what was that about a plane?"

Hurley was now staring at Kate blankly as well, obviously frightened by the actions of their friend. He mouthed the word 'stalking' at her, and she shrugged her shoulders. She didn't need to explain this to Hurley now too. There would be time to fill him in later, but Kate was beginning to worry that Jack would storm off into the jungle if she didn't clear some things up soon.

She opened her mouth, attempting to explain about the first plane crash, when suddenly she heard music coming from the jungle. All three of them turned their heads in that direction, just in time to see a new-looking Dharma van driving past the trees.

"Dude..." Hurley whispered.

As the driver stepped out, wearing a Dharma jumpsuit, Kate wondered how she could possibly explain this to Jack. Then the driver pointed his gun at the three of them, pausing only when Hurley said the one word that would make things much more confusing for everyone.

"Jin?"

* * *

Well, there you go. I hope everyone enjoyed the first chapter. So what should I do for the next one?

a) Jack demands an explanation before he allows Jin to take them anywhere.

b) Jin drags Jack, Kate and Hurley off to meet Sawyer.

c) Kate attempts to clarify some things for Jack, but he reacts badly and stomps off.

d) Jack finds a bottle of pills in his pocket and wonders what happened to him in the past three years.

Please review and tell me your opinion. I'd love to hear about any comments or criticisms. Thanks. :)


	2. Together

Thanks so much for all the reviews. :) I'm glad that so many people are interested in this fic. I really appreciate you telling me your opinions and voting for the poll at the end of the previous chapter. And thank you to **Lyon** for the great idea of the sleeping pills (it's not in this chapter, but it will be in the next). The song is called _Your Guardian Angel_ by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. I think it really suits the relationship of Jack and Kate, as well Juliet and James.

I hope you like the chapter. I found the third episode of the new season to be a bit darker (and there was hardly enough Jate!), so here's _a lot _of Jate and some Suliet to brighten things up. :) Enjoy.

* * *

**Chapter 2: Together**

_I'm here for you.  
__Please don't walk away and  
__Please tell me you'll stay._

_Use me as you will,  
__Pull my strings just for a thrill.  
__And I know I'll be okay,  
__Though my skies are turning gray._

Just when Jack thought things couldn't get any weirder, he watched a bright blue VW bus appear between the trees. It pulled up beside the lake and an Asian man stepped out. The only thing more surprising was when Jack looked over at Kate and Hurley. Neither of them appeared to be shocked that this man had just driven out of the jungle and pointed a gun at them.

Their eyes were wide, but with joy instead of astonishment. And then Hurley whispered something, which caused the other man to lower his gun. As Jack stood there in astoundment, Hurley raced towards the man and hugged him fiercely, shouting, "You're alive!"

Jack didn't know what to think anymore. It was impossible that Hurley could know a man who just walked out of the jungle, yet it seemed there was more going on here than anyone was telling him. But before he could open his mouth to demand answers, the Asian man stepped away from Hurley and turned to the rest if the group.

"We have to go," he said. "You're not supposed to be here."

For the first time, Hurley and Kate appeared genuinely surprised. "Dude, your English is awesome!" Hurley exclaimed. "But what happened to you? I mean, the last time I saw you was when the boat blew up. And you like, survived? That's cool. So, where's everybody else?"

That was the final straw for Jack. He wasn't going to stand here and watch these strangers as they reunited with each other. He needed to find out what was happening – something was seriously wrong. "Okay, that's it. Someone had better tell me what this is all about, or we aren't going anywhere," he said firmly.

Kate looked at him with pity. "Jack..." she began, but he didn't give her a chance.

"No! You're going to explain this," he gestured at the jungle and lake, "to me. Right now."

"Please," she spoke quietly. "Just calm down. I promise I will tell you everything, but for now we need to listen to Jin."

He glared at her in disbelief, how was he supposed to know who Jin was? She nodded in the direction of the Asian man.

"I'm not going with him! I don't know him. I don't know any of you people!"

Now both Jin and Hurley were gazing at Jack, bewilderment clear on their faces. "So you were, like, serious about not remembering stuff?" Hurley asked slowly. When Jack didn't answer, he shook his head sadly. "Dude, that sucks."

"Remembering what, exactly? None of you are even bothering to explain what I'm _supposed _to remember. In fact, I'm starting to think that you're the crazy ones, not me."

Kate still wasn't sure how to begin explaining what had happened to Jack in the past three years, a part of her was even hoping that he would just snap out of it and smile at her in recognition once more. But she could see that he was pulling away and knew that she had to tell him something.

"Okay, Jack. If I'm gonna explain this to you, you have to promise not to get angry. Please?" she told him soothingly. He stared at her intently, then nodded his head, resigned. "Three years ago, you were in a plane crash." She waited to see if he would interrupt, but Jack stayed true to his promise, for the moment. "Hurley, Jin and I were all on that same plane. And when it crashed, we landed on an Island. We survived there for one hundred and eight days, until we were...rescued."

She could see his confusion as she struggled to say the last word, but in truth it wasn't much of a rescue. That wasn't important at the moment, though.

"So then, where are we now?" he asked, skeptically. Kate took a deep breath, preparing herself for an explosion.

"On that same Island." She watched a startled look cross his face, only to be replaced by one of defiance. This was the part that Jack would never be able to believe.

"Really?" As soon as he spoke, Kate knew what was coming. "If that's true, then why did Jin drive up in a bus? It sure doesn't seem like he was just in _another _plane crash." Jack said, his last few words heavy with sarcasm.

"And," he continued, "_if_ we spent over a hundred days on some island because our plane crashed there, then why the hell would we ever want to go back?"

She couldn't help her response. "You tell me."

Kate knew she was being unfair, it wasn't Jack's fault that he didn't remember any of the time they'd spent together, but she was still angry at him for bringing her back here. She truly missed Aaron, it felt like her heart broke into a million pieces when she'd left her son in that motel room.

_I only did what was best for him, _she reminded herself. That was the one reason she'd let him go in the first place – because she had taken him and he needed to be with his real family now. _What if I'm his real family?_ a part of her mind kept whispering. _Maybe I'm the one who's supposed to raise him_.

But Jack had taken that away from her. And she still felt some bitterness towards him. Of course, he wouldn't understand why and that was why she was doing this. He'd had his chance and thrown it away, but now his memory was wiped clean and Kate was excited about the idea of starting over.

All they needed to do was get past the initial explanations. If she could convince Jack that they had met before, then she was hoping he would stick around long enough to get to know her once again.

Judging by the look on his face, however, Kate realized that her hopes had been in vain. There was no way he was ever going to believe her, especially not if she acted cold and uncaring towards him.

"What is that supposed to mean?" he shouted.

"Sorry, I – "

"This is ridiculous. I'm not going to stand here listening to you people talk about a plane crash that never happened. Goodbye." Then he was stomping away through the jungle.

"Jack, wait," she begged. "You promised you wouldn't get mad." Kate realized she was whining, which was doing nothing to stop Jack from leaving. "Can't you remember anything?" she asked desperately.

"No," he replied without turning around.

Watching him walk away, Kate was reminded of when their positions had been reversed. Back then, he was the one pleading her to stay and she was the one who'd had the strength to walk away. The memory of those painful times still brought tears to her eyes, but watching Jack leave her behind was worse.

She began to cry silently as he disappeared into the trees.

"We can't let him go," Jin said suddenly, before racing after Jack.

_He's right_, she thought to herself. _Jack always said he would come back for me. And he did. Now it's my turn._

Clenching her fists and wiping the tears from her eyes, Kate followed Jin, with Hurley trailing behind them.

* * *

Walking in the forest, Jack's thoughts lay behind him. Who was the mysterious woman claiming to have known him for three years? Though he had to admit, there was something about her that seemed familiar. But why was she lying to him?

He hadn't been on a plane in a long time, right? He considered this for a moment, unable to confidently say it was true.

There was a vague memory, tugging at the sides of his consciousness. Clouds, flying past as he stared out a window. Then he remembered.

He'd boarded a plane from Sydney to L.A. so he could bring his father home. _Why? _Jack wasn't sure. He puzzled over the reason, until it hit him.

Christian was dead. He'd drunk himself to death in Australia and it was Jack's responsibility to bring him back for the funeral.

Jack moaned and put his head in his hands. How could he forget something like that? He tried to recall what happened after getting on the plane, but there was nothing. The last thing he remembered seeing was a white light. After that, his mind was blank.

Maybe Kate was telling the truth. Now he wasn't so sure what to believe.

Suddenly an inexplicable craving went through him and he found himself reaching into his pocket, as if by reflex. When his hand actually connected with something, Jack was startled. He pulled the object out of his jacket, then stared at it.

His heart sunk when he realized what it was. Looking at the label, he swore angrily. Since when did he take Oxycodone?

"What the hell happened to me?" he shouted to the surrounding woods. There was no answer, but he realized that he had gotten completely turned around and now had no idea where he was. "Perfect. Just perfect."

* * *

Kate took a sip from Jin's water bottle, enjoying the feel of the cool liquid on her throat. "We can't give up," she told Jin and Hurley, determination filling her voice. The three of them had been searching for Jack for the past hour. But there was still no sign of him.

"I need to bring you back with me, it's not safe out here," Jin repeated. He'd continually reminded Kate and Hurley that they needed to come with him somewhere, but whenever one of them asked where, he wouldn't reply.

"Jin, dude. You need to, like, tell us where we're going," Hurley said. "And if it's not safe out here, then we need to find Jack and bring him with us too."

"Do you think he will come?" Jin questioned. Neither Kate nor Hurley had an answer.

"We have to try," Kate pleaded.

"Come with me and then we'll send a search party out for Jack."

Hurley and Kate glanced at each other in bewilderment. "Where are we going, Jin?" Kate asked.

"And what search party, man? How many of you guys are there?"

"I...can't explain. But I know someone who can."

"Who?" Kate and Hurley spoke at the same time.

Jin only needed to say one word. "Sawyer."

* * *

The ringing phone woke James from his sleep. He was annoyed – he'd been having a great dream, but of course he couldn't remember it now.

Juliet was lying beside him, her arm draped over his side. She groaned and nudged him gently, her way of telling him to' pick up the damn phone'.

"Oh," he grunted as he leaned across her to reach for it. He continued to complain as he lay back down again and listened to the voice on the other end.

It was Jin. "What?" he nearly shouted, then reminded himself to quiet down for Juliet. Then he fell silent as Jin quickly outlined the situation. "Wait. What?" He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "H – no, don't bring 'em in. Just meet me in the North Valley."

Jin agreed and James was about to end the call when he heard a voice in the background, asking something. Jin repeated the request to him. "Wait, bring _what_? For God's sakes, why?" Jin didn't answer, just kept repeating the demand. Finally James had to give in, though truthfully he didn't want to know why that particular item was needed. "Okay, okay. I'll get it. Yeah, I'm comin'. Bye." Then he ended the call. As James rolled over to put the phone away, he noticed Juliet staring at him curiously.

"Sorry that woke ya'," he apologized. But she didn't seem to mind.

"Who was it?" she asked as he got out of bed and began getting dressed. James sighed softly, not quite sure how to tell her.

"James, what's going on?" Now Juliet was using her no nonsense voice. She wanted to know what he was doing and James knew that if he didn't tell her, she'd find out some other way.

"They're back," he reluctantly admitted. He wasn't sure why he didn't want her to know, but a part of him was already wishing he'd chosen to ignore that phone call.

Juliet knew right away who he was talking about; James had that faraway look in his eyes that he only got when he was thinking about Kate. It used to be a common expression for him, but these days it was becoming less and less frequent. Until today.

Her first thought was _Why now? _They'd been waiting three years for Locke to return with the survivors who'd made it off the Island. But now she and James – and Miles and Jin too – had a life here in Dharmaville. Why did the others have to show up and ruin it, especially Kate?

If Kate came back, Juliet was certain that her relationship with James would be over. She was just a substitute until the woman he really loved returned. But that didn't stop Juliet from caring deeply about James, her feelings growing every day they spent together.

And maybe it was because it was too early for strong emotions, or maybe she just wanted James to know how she felt. Either way, suddenly there were tears streaming down her cheeks. She rubbed her eyes, shocked, and sure enough, she was crying.

Juliet tried to hide her sorrow from James, but he knew her well enough to see that something was wrong. He stopped trying to put on his Dharma jumpsuit and instead came to sit on the bed beside her.

"Hey Sweetheart? What's the matter?"

Juliet gulped, trying to calm down. "Nothing, James," she said, then silently cursed when her voice cracked.

"Listen Jules, this ain't gonna change anythin', okay? I promise, it don't matter that Kate's back. I'm with you now."

"Just admit it. We both know 'us' is over. We're done playing house," she replied sadly.

His eyes flashed for a moment in anger. "Is that really all this is ta' ya', 'playin' house'?" James demanded. Juliet was surprised by his reaction – she didn't know he'd felt this strongly.

"I thought that's all it was to you," she mumbled, looking down. He tilted her chin up so she could look at him, then cupped her face in his hands.

"Our relationship means so much more ta' me. Honestly. I love _you_, darlin'. Kate don't matter anymore. It's me 'n you." James spoke fiercely, staring into her eyes until she saw the honesty in them and believed him.

"Okay, then I'm coming with you." Juliet wrestled away from him and began to get dressed too. She laughed at James' stunned expression, his mouth hanging open in shock. "It's you and me, James. So let's go."

_I will never let you fall,  
__I'll stand up with you forever.  
__I'll be there for you through it all,  
__Even if saving you sends me to heaven._

* * *

I hope you liked the chapter. I have the next one written - I had to spilt it from this one because it would have been a really long chapter. I'll update at a total of 22 reviews. So please let me know what you think. Thanks. :)


	3. Trust

Thanks for all the reviews. Wow, everyone responded very quickly. ;) Well, as promised, here's the next chapter. The song is by Coldplay, called _Fix You_. I have another poll at the end, so please tell me your opinions. Thank you and enjoy. :)

* * *

**Chapter 3: Trust**

_Tears come streaming down your face.  
__When you lose something you can't replace.  
__When you love someone but it goes to waste,  
__Could it be worse?_

Kate sat in the back of the Dharma van, waiting for Sawyer to arrive. Jin and Hurley were talking outside, but she wasn't paying much attention to what they were saying. She thought she heard something that sounded like, "Dude, is this the car you, me and Sawyer, like, fixed up in the jungle? It's looks _awesome_!" though that didn't make any sense and she was certain she'd heard wrong.

Her mind was preoccupied with worrying about Jack. She'd made sure Sawyer was bringing what she'd asked for, and his reluctance to do so without answers made her smile slightly. It was nice to be back – at least, until she reminded herself that Jack was gone.

_For now_, she thought, somewhat smugly. _Just wait until Sawyer gets here_... The only problem was, Kate had no idea where exactly 'here' was.

Jin had insisted on driving her and Hurley to someplace he kept calling the North Valley. Which was odd, because Kate was sure they'd never named any of the parts on the Island when she had lived there – except for the caves and the Hatch, of course.

This valley was filled with rocks and piles of dirt, but it was overlooking the ocean and it made Kate feel a bit more peaceful. She'd never been to this part of the Island before, though, which would make it even harder to find Jack when the time came.

Sure enough, as soon as she thought it, here was another Dharma van driving down the hill.

Kate watched through the windshield as Sawyer stepped out. She saw Hurley run enthusiastically to hug him, noticed that he was wearing his glasses now and wondered when he'd started doing that – and where he'd gotten a new pair. He was also wearing a Dharma jumpsuit, though she had to admit it looked much better on him than it did on Jin. But maybe that was just her opinion.

After staring at him for another moment or two, seeing him glance at the van and knowing he was searching for her, Kate stepped out of the vehicle.

His eyes widened at the sight of her and she began to blush softly. As she was walking towards him, however, Kate saw Juliet emerge from the behind Sawyer. Unintentionally, Kate froze at the look on the blonde woman's face.

Thankfully, Sawyer stepped forward and pulled her into a warm hug before she could make a fool out of herself. "Good ta' see ya', Kate," he whispered as he held her in his arms. She was aware of his avoidance of her nickname – there was no "Long time no see, Freckles" greeting for her today. But judging by the envious look in Juliet's eyes, a lot had changed in the three years she'd been gone.

"You too, James," she said, trying to sound like they were just two friends seeing each other for the first time in many years. Unfortunately, their history was so much more than that.

They stayed in the embrace for a moment, Kate enjoying the warmth of his arms wrapped around her, until Juliet coughed softly.

Sawyer quickly broke away from Kate, while Juliet smiled cooly at her. "Hello, Kate." The ice in her voice made Kate cringe inward. But she had learned not to back down in situations of intimidation, so she smiled warmly instead of running in the opposite direction like she wanted to.

"Hi, Juliet. How are you?" Kate felt a sense of victory when the other woman backed down but she also felt saddened that the two of them were acting like enemies again. Though they'd never been close friends, Kate had hoped that three years might change the inexplicable hatred they had towards each other.

It seemed the reverse had happened instead. Kate vowed to try and befriend Juliet, but not right now. They would have a never-ending amount of time on the Island to mend broken hearts and opinions later. Kate's primary objective at the moment was to find Jack and mend her relationship with him – it definitely needed the most fixing up.

"Did you bring it?" she questioned, looking back at Sawyer. He nodded and went to retrieve the bag from the van.

"Don't know why ya' couldn't just use the one Jin's got, though," he complained. She chuckled softly. _No matter how different he seems, he's still the same old Sawyer_. Kate felt stronger knowing she had something familiar nearby. Everything had changed since the last time she'd been here – the Island itself appeared foreign to her now. And she needed something, someone, to hold on to.

"'Cause his doesn't have what I need," she replied, then winced when she listened to her flirtatious voice.

"And what exactly is it that ya' need, Fre – " he began, falling into the usual banter between them. But Sawyer stopped talking before things could get out of hand. "What do ya' need?" he tried again.

"Just give me the pack, James...please?" she added after a moment, not wanting to sound ungrateful.

"Alrighty then. But listen, before ya'll go runnin' off inta the jungle," he continued as Kate took the bag and started walking back to Jin's van.

"What is it?" she queried, impatient to begin searching before it got too late. She remembered how fast dark could come in on the Island.

"There's some stuff ya' gotta know 'bout, uh, everythin'."

"Yes?" Kate was curious now.

"Well for starters, ya'll ain't in Kansas anymore..."

And so James told them.

* * *

Forty minutes later, Kate was back at the lake where she'd first woken up. Sawyer and Juliet offered to drive her, but she said she didn't mind riding with Hurley and Jin. Sawyer had looked vaguely disheartened, however, Juliet had given Kate a small smile of thanks. At least, Kate thought she had.

And now she was heading out into the jungle with nothing but a bottle of water and a small pack at her side. She'd made the others head back to what she assumed was a newer version of Dharmaville. Newer, because, as Sawyer, Jin and Juliet claimed, it was 1977.

Kate's mind was still trying to process that information, but she had assured everyone else that she'd be fine. As long as they left a van and map for her, she'd make her way back – with Jack, hopefully – without them.

_Okay, now I just need to find him_, she reminded herself, travelling further into the jungle.

Thankfully Jack left a trail that was fairly easy to follow – once she found it. When they'd been searching for him before, everyone had been looking in the wrong direction. Of course, since Jack had no memory of ever being on the Island before, he'd have no idea where to go.

So Kate was extremely surprised when she found him hours later at the Caves where the survivors had once lived, for a brief period of time.

He was sitting on a flat piece of rock that had served as a bed for various people long ago – or many years from now; Kate still didn't quite understa'nd how the whole 'time travel' concept worked. That wasn't important though. What was important was the confused look on his face as he stared at his surroundings.

Then she heard him groan and he dropped his head into his hands, a gesture of defeat. Since Jack still hadn't noticed her, Kate quickly backed up into the trees.

She hid behind a large trunk and swiftly opened the bag, quietly shuffling through the contents until she found the item she wanted.

When Kate stepped back into the clearing, her eyes were immediately drawn to Jack once more. Except this time, he was staring straight at her, eyes blazing in anger.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded and Kate sighed, he clearly hadn't calmed down at all.

"I could ask you the same thing," she retorted and he laughed humourlessly. They glared at each other, neither saying a word.

Jack was the first one to break the silence – which he'd never done before in the three years that Kate had known him. Until the end, when he'd become so desperate that he'd call her at three in the morning just to hear her voice.

"There's no airplane, Kate. Why?"

She wasn't expecting that question, the one she couldn't answer. "I honestly don't know." That did nothing to satisfy Jack.

"And how come that doesn't bother you?" For this question, she had no answer.

"Why don't you come with me, Jack? I can take you to my friends, yours too, and we can work this out," she asked.

"Tempting, but no thanks."

"Please?" She was going to give him one more chance until she took matters into her own hands. There would be no more begging this time.

"I think I'll stay here and look for other survivors, but go ahead." He continued to politely, but stubbornly refuse to go back to Dharmaville with Kate.

"Listen, Jack. That's the thing. I don't think there are any survivors – other than us," she confessed.

"Why the hell would you think that?"

_Okay, bad move, Kate. Time for plan number two. _"You're right. I don't know why I said that. So how about we search for them together, 'kay?" she asked sweetly, but Jack wasn't buying it.

"I think it'd be more effective if I searched by myself. I have some...things to do." That startled her. Had he started to remember? Kate's heart swelled in anticipation. "Besides," he continued. "It's pretty easy to get lost in these woods. I don't want to be keeping an eye on you."

Kate stiffened. "I found you on my own, didn't I?" she said coldly.

"Yeah, I was going to ask how you managed that."

She sighed, obviously Jack wasn't going to come on his own. "At least have some water. You're probably thirsty, right?" She stood still as he debated with himself whether or not to accept her offer.

Finally, practicality won out over pride and he reached for her bottle, quickly gulping some down. "Thanks. Now I've gotta go..." he began before Kate tried to push him down. She'd forgotten how long this took to work last time.

"You might wanna stay sitting down for a bit," she advised.

He looked up at her slowly as the water began to take effect. "Wha – what's goin' on," he asked, dizzy now.

"I crushed up some sleeping pills and put 'em in the water," she admitted. Jack groaned softly, but without any real fury.

"Why would you – " he paused for a moment, trying to catch his train of thought. "You drugged me?"

Kate smiled a bit, remembering a similar conversation for three years ago. Once again she decided to be honest – she didn't want their new relationship to be based on lies. This was her way of starting over and she wasn't going to ruin her chance already.

So she looked Jack straight in the eye and nodded. "Yeah." She knew what was coming, but his nearly identical reaction was stunning.

"Oh." Jack laughed, though it wasn't really funny. "Okay." He paused as his eyes began to close. Suddenly, he mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like, "Not again."

_What? Does he remember this moment? _"Jack," Kate shook him, urgency filling her voice. "What do you mean 'not again'? Has this happened to you before?" She kept questioning him, but he continued to slip further and further from her.

"Don't close your eyes, Jack! Dammit, wake up! What did you mean?" But it was too late, he'd already sunk into a deep, drug-induced sleep. "Jack, please wake up," she pleaded. This was what she had been waiting for, but she was beginning to lose hope again. What if this was it? The one chance she had to help bring his memory back and she'd missed it.

That was when she realized the flaws of her plan. She was much too far to carry Jack all the way through the jungle to the van.

Kate began to wish she'd accepted the walkie Sawyer had offered her. But no matter what, she would not give up on him.

"I promise, Jack, I will help you get your memory back," she whispered to him softly, laying him down on the rock. Then she sat down, leaned back, and hoped someone would drive by and find her soon.

_Lights will guide you home.  
__And ignite your bones.  
__And I will try to fix you._

* * *

Here's the next poll. I'd love to hear what you think should happen next:

a) Kate stays sitting beside Jack in the caves until he wakes up. When he does, they begin walking back through the jungle to the Dharma van. Of course, they have lots of alone time where Jack can ask Kate all kinds of questions. ;)

b) Jack wakes up in Dharmaville, confused and angry. Before he can leave again, Kate and Sawyer come up with a plan to convince him he's really in 1977.

c) Jack wakes up in the Dharma van. He demands to be let go, but just before he tries to escape, they run into the Hostiles (aka. the Others).

d) Any other ideas?


	4. Sharing

Thanks so much for all the reviews. I'm trying to include everyone's ideas in this chapter and the next, so please be patient with me. And I'm sorry, but this chapter is mostly Skate. I wasn't planning for it to happen that way, however, I can promise that after this it will be straight Jate and Suliet. :)

There are two polls at the end of the chapter this time, and I'd appreciateit it if you vote because I really need some ideas for the next chapter. Thanks. Oh, and the song is _Just Say Yes _by Snow Patrol.

* * *

**Chapter 4: Sharing**

_Just say yes.  
__Just say there's nothing holding you back.  
__It's not a test, nor a trick of the mind,  
__Only love.  
__Just say yes.  
_'_Cause I'm aching and I know you are too.  
__For the touch of your warm skin  
__As I breathe you in._

Jack gradually became aware of the world around him once more. He heard birds chirping in the distance and the rustle of wind through the trees. Then he listened closely to the breathing of someone nearby.

His thoughts were moving slowly and it took him a minute to realize that this was not right. There shouldn't be anyone here except him. But when he opened his eyes, the world spun around him and he panicked.

Sitting up quickly, Jack waited for everything to stop moving. As it did, he glanced frantically from side to side. No one else was there. But as he stood amid the trees, he was hit by a strong sense of déjà vu. It felt like this had happened before. In fact, he could almost hear what was coming next.

Screams. Someone calling for help. And for a moment he wasn't sure if the shouts were his imagination or not. Then he laughed aloud, this was ridiculous.

"Don't be stupid, Jack." His voice seemed to break the silence. Then he heard the shouting and this time it wasn't coming from his own head.

Without thinking about it, he tore off through the jungle. As he ran, his feet knew exactly where to go, as if he'd been here already. And when he reached the river, he was already turning in the right direction. It was an unconscious decision that would have shocked him if he hadn't been so preoccupied.

The waterfall was not a surprise to him either, he dove right down it, feeling like it was something he had done already and needed to do again. Before he hit the water, briefly he saw a person floating in the lake below. _A man_, he instantly thought.

The cold water sent shock waves through his body but he ignored the discomfort and quickly surfaced, continuing to swim in the direction of the shouts. Except by the time he reached the drowning man, the screams had stopped. The person was sinking deeper underwater every extra minute Jack took to reach him.

Finally he was close enough to dive, which Jack did, quickly grabbing hold of the man and swimming towards the surface once more. That was when Jack realized that the person he'd thought was a man was actually a woman.

He pushed her long blonde hair out of her face and was met with delicate features that looked much too beautiful for their present setting. Dirt covered ever inch of her, although it only made her appear younger. And as he stared at her, Jack realized that he'd seen her face before.

Suddenly, the sense of familiarity that had been following him since he'd woken up faded. Then he realized the woman who wasn't a man also wasn't breathing – which he knew wasn't supposed to happen.

He began dragging her in the direction of the rocky shore, gasping out useless assurances at the same time. "It's" – breath – "going to" – breath – "be" – breath – "okay," Jack managed to choke out, trying to convince himself as well as the unconscious woman.

Finally he pulled her onto a large rock and tried to see if she was breathing. She wasn't. He began CPR, desperately pounding on her chest and pushing air into her lungs. But she remained still.

Then, for a moment she coughed, spilling water out of her mouth. He moved her to a sitting position and rubbed her arms, trying to keep her warm. That was when she started choking, unable to catch her breath. Jack tried patting her back to allow for better air flow, but that made her gasp more. As her breathing slowed, she sunk lower and lower in his arms.

Jack tried to prop her back up but she had gone limp and was too heavy with water. "Come on, dammit. It's gonna be okay, just hold on, Claire." He didn't know where the name came from, but when she looked at him weakly with a spark of recognition in her eyes, he knew he'd been right.

She mumbled something in response and he lowered his head, hoping she would repeat herself. "You're..." she paused, trying to find enough air. "Not supposed to raise him, Jack."

He stared at her in shock, wondering how she knew his name. A chill ran down his spine as he tried to figure out want she meant. Who was he not supposed to raise? Then she coughed once more and her already slow breathing stopped altogether.

For a moment, looking into her bright blue eyes that no longer held any spark of life, he caught a glimpse of someone else. A young man, with short brown hair and a friendly face covered in blood was gazing up at him in pain.

"Tell Shannon I..." Jack heard a voice wheeze behind him. He whirled around, slipping off the rock and landing back in the water. He felt his head connect with something solid, knocking the air out of him. For a moment, he lay still on the bottom of the lake. Until he heard a cry in the distance.

Jack raised his head above the water, breathing deeply and ignoring the spots that danced in front of his vision. He thought he saw a figure standing beneath the trees and he quickly realized that it was a child.

_You're not supposed to raise him_. Claire's dying words echoed through his mind and Jack suddenly knew, with a strong sense of certainty, that this child was who she'd been talking about.

"Aaron." The name was out of his mouth before he even thought about speaking. _Where did that come from_? he asked himself, receiving no answer.

The child continued to wail, as if calling him over. Jack felt a strange hesitation but his body began moving of its own accord. Before he could reach the boy however, another person reached out and grabbed the child, cradling him in her arms.

"He's mine, Jack." Her voice sounded familiar and it took him a moment to realize why.

"Sarah?" he asked. She stepped out into the sunlight and he rubbed his eyes in confusion. What was she doing here?

"You're not fit to raise this child. You can hardly hold a marriage together, Jack. How do you expect to raise a kid by yourself?" Sarah's words cut through him and he was overcome with a sudden urge to defend the boy.

"He's not just some kid, okay? He has a name, it's Aaron. Get that straight. And I'm not going to raise him alone." Once again, Jack wondered why he was saying these things. He'd never looked after a child in his life, except for patients, but never as part of his family. In fact, he'd never planned to have children, had never really thought about it.

"Oh?" Sarah questioned. "Who's helping you?" Jack didn't know how to answer. He stood in silence until Sarah answered for him. "Kate?" she almost laughed. "She's not going to help you. After everything you've done, I don't blame her."

_What have I done_? Jack wanted to scream at her, but his mouth wasn't working properly. _And who the hell is Kate?_

Instead, he heard a rustling behind him. Turning around quickly, he saw a brief flash of white. Then it disappeared. His frustration growing, Jack stepped further into the forest. "Who's there?" he shouted. In reply, he heard faint whispers drifting through the trees.

"Don't choose, Jack, don't decide. You don't want to be a hero. You don't want to try and save everyone because when you fail...you just don't have what it takes."

The phrase kept running through his head. It swirled around and engulfed him, became him.

_You don't have what it takes... Don't be a hero..._

_Don't be a hero..._

_Don't choose..._

That was the last thing he heard before the world disappeared in darkness. Then there was nothing.

* * * * *

Night had fallen before she saw headlights passing through the trees. Kate had just about given up any hope of someone driving by and seeing her.

She had been debating either waking Jack up or trying to drag him through the jungle when she noticed a faint light up ahead. For a moment she froze, not sure whether or not she should make her presence known.

Then she heard a voice calling her name. "Over here!" she called, running to meet her rescuer. She already knew who it would be, she recognized his voice.

"Freckles, where are ya'?" She flashed a smile in the darkness, hoping he wouldn't see how the use of her nickname still sent chills down her spine.

"Here!" she repeated.

"Well no need ta' stand there shoutin' at me. Come on over." She could practically see the smirk on his face.

"I need your help," she reminded him.

"With what?" Now there was a panicked edge to his words. Kate knew that Juliet wasn't with him, otherwise he wouldn't be acting this way. And while that knowledge saddened her, she was relieved that she didn't have to worry about him any more. He was finally happy, just like she'd wanted for him as she lay awake at night in her bed in L.A., thinking of the Island and everyone left behind.

"What's the matter, Kate?" She blinked in surprise at how close he'd gotten. He raised a flashlight to her face and took a good look at her.

"Hey! It's not me," she protested, shielding her eyes. "It's Jack."

Sawyer lowered the flashlight, brushing the hair out of his eyes as he did so. Kate noticed how much it had grown and was overcome with a sudden longing to thread her fingers through it and push it off his face.

Shaking her head to rid herself of those thoughts, she nodded in the direction of the caves.

"Well hell. I didn't think ya'd actually do it," he complained when he saw Jack lying there. "How didja plan on gettin' him back ta' the barracks like that? Were ya' gonna drag him?"

She chuckled softly. "I guess it's a good thing you're here then, isn't it?" she commented as Sawyer hoisted Jack onto his back.

* * *

Later she was sitting in the backseat of Sawyer's van, holding on to Jack as they drove through the jungle. At each bump, Jack was jostled around and she needed to grip him tightly so he wouldn't fall off the seat.

As the ride continued, Jack began to mumble in his sleep. There was too much noise for Kate to hear what he was saying, so she turned her attention to Sawyer instead. "How did you find us, James?"

"Well, when ya' didn't show up by sundown I figured ya' must either be lost or unable ta' get back. So I took a car 'n drove 'round ta' the places ya' were likely ta' go. I tried the beach first, but it was empty. Our shelters 'n stuff ain't even been built yet, ya' know. So then I wandered through the jungle for a bit, 'n when I didn't see ya', I thought I'd try the caves."

Kate had to admit that she was impressed. Sawyer seemed to know exactly what he was doing and had everything under control. Even her sudden arrival with Jack and Hurley apparently hadn't affected him at all. But she didn't want him to know how proud she was. That wasn't the kind of relationship they had, she knew he would probably react badly to her praise. Most men did, she had learned over the years.

"Why didn't you check the Hatch?" It was a reasonable question, she thought, until Sawyer snorted under his breath.

"'Cause the Swan site is under heavy construction 'n I knew ya'd have the sense ta' steer clear of other people. 'N it's a good thing ya' did, 'cause it'd be pretty hard to explain why the new recruits were snoopin' 'round the area. It's top secret, ya' know, at least, accordin' ta' Radzinsky."

After that they both lapsed into a comfortable silence as Kate processed this new information. "You've really built yourself quite a life here, haven't you?"

Sawyer gazed intently at her in the rearview mirror. "Yeah," he admitted, sounding rather wistful. Kate understood; when she and the others came back, they ruined that life for everyone who stayed behind.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, half-hoping that he didn't hear her.

He did. And then he stopped the car, twisting around in his seat to get a good look at her. "I know."

Sawyer's eyes were shining with honesty and forgiveness, and his words were just what Kate needed to hear. Ever since he'd jumped out of the helicopter so everyone else could get rescued, she was haunted by that final glimpse of him before he disappeared from her vision.

Kate had been afraid that he would resent her leaving, even though she hadn't had much of a choice. But now she could see that she'd been wrong. Sawyer wasn't mad at her, he wasn't holding any grudges. He'd missed her, just as she'd missed him.

"Thank you." She was so overcome by emotion that it was hard for her to speak.

Suddenly, Sawyer reached his arms out to her and, before she knew it, Kate was being pulled into a hug. The positioning was awkward since there was a seat between them, but it was intimate nonetheless.

When they both broke away, a sense of uncomfort hung heavy in the air between them. Sawyer was the first to break the silence. "You're welcome, Freckles. But here's the thing. I'm sure ya' kinda guessed, but me 'n Juliet are in a relationship now, 'n I want it ta' stay that way. Just promise me you'll let us be."

"It's okay, Sawyer. I understand." And she had, once. He looked at her quizzically and Kate realized she had to elaborate. "Jack and I were..." she paused, deciding she didn't want to share that information with Sawyer yet.

But from the look on his face and the spark of jealousy in his eyes, he already knew what she hadn't said.

Another awkward pause fell between them, and Jack chose that time to mutter loudly. "Come on, dammit. It's gonna be okay, just hold on..." was all she could hear before he trailed off.

Kate wondered briefly what he was dreaming about, then decided she didn't really want to know. What she really wanted was to continue talking with Sawyer. She missed the private chats they'd used to have. But the closed off expression he wore told her that sharing time was over.

So she leaned back in her seat, waiting for Sawyer to start the van and begin driving once again. But then she felt something in her way and she let out a small gasp of surprise before seeing that it was Jack. He'd slumped over while she and Sawyer were distracted with each other.

_Oh well_, Kate thought. Not wanting to disturb him, she searched for a buckle to strap him in with. "Don't you have any seatbelts back here?" she complained and was glad to see Sawyer's amused smile return.

"You're just lucky I got the one with extra seats," he teased lightly.

Just as he was about to put the van in drive, a tap on the side window made Kate shriek.

"Oh shit!" Sawyer cursed.

"What? What's going on?" She was scanning the jungle, keeping a watchful eye on the window as well, so she noticed right away when a face appeared beside the car. "Oh my god! Who's out there?!" she screamed.

"Calm down, Freckles. No need ta' panic. I got this under control, just let me do the talkin'." Then he opened his door and stepped out of the van, mumbling something about "damn Hostiles" as he did so.

_Hostiles_?

She watched as Sawyer started shouting and gesturing at a group of people who stood in front of the Dharma bus. He pointed at himself, then to the jungle, clearly demanding something.

Kate slowly inched forward, bending down low so she could open the driver's door. She reached for the handle, stretching her arm as far as it would go. Just when she thought it was going to pop right out of its socket, she felt the cool metal in her grasp.

Quietly she pulled on it and waited as the door opened a crack. Kate didn't want to risk making any unnecessary noise, so she pressed her head against the back of the seat in front of her. Turning her ear towards the door, she grinned in triumph when she caught faint snatches of the conversation happening outside.

"What are you doing on our land? This is a direct violation of the truce," someone was saying.

"I ain't violatin' yer damn truce. I'm just pickin' up one o' our members." That was Sawyer.

"And why were they across the border in the first place?"

_What border_? Kate wondered. _Who are these people_? She forced herself to pay attention when Sawyer began speaking again. "I don't think I should tell ya' that," he countered.

"In that case, we'll have to take you with us." Kate didn't know where they would go but she knew that wherever it was, it would not be good.

"Sure, go ahead." _What? _Kate was shocked. There was no way Sawyer would give in that easily. _He must have some kind of plan_, she assumed.

"Then me 'n Richard can have a nice chat 'bout this. How's that sound, boys?" Now she could hear the smirk in his voice. He knew he had this situation under control.

No one answered him, which Sawyer interpreted as surrender. "Good choice. I'll be seein' ya' then." And with that, he got back in the van.

Kate struggled to return to her seat without him noticing, but as she rose off the floor he was already staring at her. "Looks like we're free ta' go, Freckles," he said with a grin. "Shall we?" Without waiting for an answer, he drove forward, causing the small group of 'Hostiles' to jump out of the way.

"So," she began, moving into the front of the car because Jack was still lying in her way. Sawyer sighed in surrender and she could practically hear what he was thinking. _Of course she has questions, she always does_, Kate mimicked Sawyer's voice in her mind.

"Let's get this over with. I'm sure ya' got a lotta questions," he said, causing Kate to laugh softly. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing," she lied, chuckling.

"Alright then. So whaddya wanna know?"

"Who were they?" she blurted out. "You called them the Hostiles...?"

Sawyer took a moment to gather his thoughts. "Well, they're the – " He was interrupted by Jack moaning in the back.

"Aaron," he gasped. Sawyer glanced at him for a moment, a look of surprise crossing his face.

"Did the Doc just say what I thought he just said?" He kept his voice light, with only a slight tinge of curiosity. But Kate knew he was doing more than simply making conversation – he was genuinely interested.

"Yeah, he did."

"As is Claire's kid?"

She groaned inwardly, not liking where this was going. Her heart was already beginning to ache at the mention of her, no _Claire's _son, she mentally corrected herself. "Yep," she admitted.

"'N why the hell does Jack care 'bout her Island baby?" Sawyer asked, but it seemed more like he was thinking aloud, not really expecting an answer.

"Hey James," Kate began, thinking of another question. He titled his head to show that he was listening. "Did you ever find Claire? After she went missing in the jungle?" That was the one reason Kate had wanted to come back to the Island – so Aaron could be reunited with his mother. And if Claire had already been found, it would make Kate's role a lot easier.

_Though the time difference is still an issue_, she reminded herself. But she would save the time travel for another day. Right now Kate focused her attention back on Sawyer.

He stayed silent for so long that she began to wonder if he'd even heard her. Then she saw how sad his eyes were and she knew the answer. "Why the sudden interest in Missing Mama 'n her kid, Kate?"

_How do I answer this_? She puzzled over it for a moment, then decided to just go with the truth. "Because I need to find her and bring her back home to her son."

If her reply shocked Sawyer, he hid his surprise very well. All he had to say was, "Well that's gonna be kinda difficult when we're forty years in the past now, ain't it?"

"I know. But it's something I have to do," she revealed.

"Why?"

Kate had gone too far to stop now, so she told Sawyer everything. She talked for a long time, about first getting off the Island and what happened after. About her trial and all the press conferences the Oceanic Six – he snickered at the nickname – went to. Then she told him how she claimed Aaron as her own – "There was no one else to take him in," she explained tearfully – and soon began living with Jack.

So then she had to tell him about Claire's mother visiting Christian's funeral and revealing that Jack was related to Aaron.

Sawyer had to interrupt at this. "Now hold on a sec. The kid is Jack's _nephew_?! Bet he didn't handle that very well..."

Kate continued, explaining how Jack slowly began destroying himself. But first she mentioned his proposal...and immediately wished she hadn't. Seeing Sawyer clench his fists even tighter over the wheel, she realized it was a good thing he'd pulled over when she started to talk. Otherwise they'd probably have crashed into a tree by now.

_Well he's got Juliet anyway, so he shouldn't be jealous in the first place_, she reasoned.

"But the worst part was when he starting calling me in the middle of the night. He'd wake up Aaron, who would always ask if it was Jack on the phone. And I'd have to say no because I couldn't let Jack talk to my little boy when he was acting like that."

"You sure love him, don'tcha?" Sawyer asked softly. Kate wasn't surprised that he could tell; she had gotten used to talking about Aaron with a fierce protectiveness, especially when around Jack.

"Yeah. And I tried so hard not to let anything to happen to him. But then I – I _lost _him in the grocery store," she admitted, her voice cracking.

"Hey, it's okay, Freckles. I'm sorry that had ta' happen ta' ya', 'n that _he_," Sawyer glared at Jack, "wasn't there for ya'. But I'm here now and I'll help ya' look for Claire, okay?"

That was too much for Kate. She broke down in sobs, crying heavily into his shoulder. He patted her on the back and held her close until she calmed back down. "S – sorry," she apologized. "It just..."

"Ya' don't have ta' explain yourself ta' me, Kate. I'm here for ya', no matter what."

That was when it fully sunk in what she was doing. She pushed away from Sawyer, trying to ignore the hurt expression on his face. "I'm sorry, James. But we can't do this. You have Juliet now and I've got to take care of Jack."

"Wait, what? One minute you're all cuddly 'n teary eyed 'n the next you're Miss Sensible? What the hell, Kate?" He didn't understand, she could see that. "'N why do ya' gotta take care o' ol' Jackass over there? He sure ain't done the same for ya'."

"I know. But he doesn't remember that. And what kind of person would I be if I didn't give him a second chance after all we've been through?"

"The sane kind?" he said sarcastically.

"Don't you wish you could get a chance to start over, James?" Kate asked gently, knowing what his answer would be. He ignored the question, sitting stubbornly in his seat. "Well this is mine. And I'm going to take it. Please understand," she begged. He had to understand, otherwise she didn't know how she could go through with this.

_What if Jack just acts the same way again_? Kate hoped that wouldn't happen, but if it did she would need someone – a friend – to turn to.

"If that's the way ya' want it ta' be, Freckles. Then okay. I got yer back with this one, but don't go spreading it around, got that? 'N you're right. I do love Juliet, more than I've ever loved anyone before."

_Even me_? Kate wanted to ask, but she was afraid of what his answer would be. _It's better this way_, she reminded herself once more.

Then Jack screamed behind her and she whipped her head around in shock. He was still sleeping, for now. But he was tossing and turning so much that Kate worried he would flip right onto the floor.

She crawled back to her seat and moved Jack's head onto her lap. She stroked his hair, which had been growing longer recently, and whispered soothingly to him.

"Can we get going please?" she shouted at Sawyer. Afraid she had angered him, she stared into the rearview mirror, trying to gauge his expression. She was surprised to see the soft smile on his lips, but was glad that his mood had improved.

"You got it, Kate."

Watching her in the mirror, James couldn't help the grin that stretched across his face. A long time ago he would have been extremely jealous seeing Kate's devotion to Jack. But now it felt right to him.

The two of them would never have worked out as a couple. Their relationship had once been intimate, but now it was just open and friendly. Sawyer was finally content with being 'just friends' with Kate.

_And knowing that I have a beautiful woman who loves me almost as much as I love her certainly helps_, he reminded himself. Now his mind turned to thoughts of Juliet and he sped up the van, eager to get back Dharmaville almost as much as Kate was.

_I can feel your heart beat through my shirt.  
__This is all I wanted, all I want.  
__It's all I want._

* * *

Thank you for reading, sorry about all the Skate. But this was a conversation Kate and Sawyer needed to have sooner or later. I thought I'd just get it out of the way now.

So here are the polls:

1. What should Kate give Jack to help him remember who she is? (No guarantees that it will work...) Thanks to Lyon for the first two options.

a) Guava seeds

b) Black thread

c) A picture of Jack and Aaron together

d) The engagement ring Jack gave Kate

e) Any combination of items, other ideas?

2. How should Kate (and possibly Sawyer or Juliet) attempt to convince Jack that they are in 1977?

a) They take him off the Island on a submarine, showing him around the L.A. of the past (this could lead to Jack searching for his family in the past, but I don't know all that much about his childhood, so it may not be very accurate).

b) Jack is shown a newspaper or video with the date on it (which probably won't be very convincing...)

c) I really have no other ideas how they could prove this. It's going to be extremely hard for Jack to accept, either way. So if you have any other ideas, please let me know.

One more question: Do you think there should be a Jaby in this story? I've never written about one before and I'm not sure how that would turn out. Also, it might be too soon and cause too many complications right now. What do you think? ;)


	5. Questions

Sorry for the late update. I was watching Surrogates and by the time it was over I still hadn't finished this chapter. ;) But here it is now. I am planning on writing a shorter chapter and updating this fic again tomorrow. The next part will just be too long to fit into this chapter. Thank you to **Lyon **for the ideas in this chapter. :)

The song _Taking Chances_ is sung by both Celine Dion and Rachel Berry (Lea Michele) from Glee. Both versions are good. :)

* * *

**Chapter 5: Questions**

_You don't know about my past,  
__And I don't have a future figured out.  
__And maybe this is going too fast.  
__And maybe it's not meant to last._

_But what do you say to taking chances?  
__What do you say to jumping off the edge?  
__Never knowing if there's solid ground below  
__Or hand to hold,  
__Or hell to pay.  
__What do you say?_

This time when Jack awoke he had the distinct feeling that he was alone. He didn't open his eyes right away to check, though. For a moment he lay still, enjoying the silence in his own head. No longer was his father's voice shouting at him to not be a hero.

His thoughts were moving sluggishly, but the more he considered his situation, the more he wondered where he was. So Jack finally forced his eyelids to open, squinting in the bright light. Expecting to see trees overhead, as he had the past few times he'd woken up, he was surprised to find a ceiling above him.

In one fluid motion he was sitting up, struggling to remain in that position as a wave of dizziness overcame him. He slumped backwards, relaxing into the soft material behind him.

_Wait...what?_ Jack twisted to look behind him and saw he was sitting on a soft yellow couch. Then he faced forward again and was surprised to see a door in front of him.

He slowly rose to his feet, waiting until he regained his balance before attempting to walk. But he never managed to reach the door. Tripping and falling, he landed with a thud. "Ow," he grunted angrily. "What the hell?"

Then he heard footsteps behind him and he jumped to his feet in surprise. "Jack?" a voice asked through the ringing in his ears. What was happening to him?

"Who's that? What's going on?" he demanded weakly.

"You shouldn't be up. Come on, let's get you back to the couch," a soft female voice scolded. He turned to look at her and was met with a familiar face.

_Thank god_, Jack thought with relief. He wasn't ready to face any more surprises at the moment. "Kate," he assured himself, pleased when she nodded in reply. Then his brain made a startling leap and he froze as the connection became evident. Was this the same Kate that Sarah had been talking about? If so, then what had he ever done to her? He'd just met her...

But he didn't get a chance to ask her before other memories of the last time he'd been awake flooded into his mind. "Claire!" he suddenly remembered. "Where's Claire?"

"What?" Kate asked. She was staring at him oddly.

"There was a blonde Australian woman. Down by the lake. She was drowning and I tried to save her, but..." he hung his head in shame as he admitted his failure. "Did you find her when you came and got me?" At least, he assumed that was how he'd wound up here. What other reason would he have for walking up on a strange couch? "Is she okay?" he continued.

It was foolish, but he'd been hoping someone had been able to revive her. Having access to medical equipment would be more effective than his mouth to mouth attempt.

Kate was still standing there with her mouth hanging open. "Don't look at me like that!" Jack shouted. "I'm not crazy!"

Kate just shook her head in amazement, then she seemed to regain herself. "You're right, Jack," she began and he sighed in relief. "I did come after you. But you weren't anywhere near the lake. I found you by the Caves."

He didn't understand, but the way she said 'caves,' like it was a name rather than just a place, made him realize she was expecting him to know what she was talking about. "Is that supposed to mean something to me?" he asked in irritation.

"Yes, Jack. You should know that the Caves are very far away from the lake where we first arrived." _First met is more like it_, Jack thought, but he decided not to correct her.

"Oh, and why should I know that?" he demanded.

"Because you were the one who convinced everyone to move there from the beach." Kate's short reply brought back all of Jack's anger from the previous day. He hated being lied to and the fact that she was continuing with her outrageous story only made him even more frustrated.

"Not that again," he said. "Just give it up! There was no plane crash – when I went looking in the jungle yesterday there were no other people either. So stop lying, because I'm not buying it!"

"What reason would I have for lying to you, Jack?"

"I don't know, but you sure are doing a lot of it. First about knowing me, then about the plane, and now you won't even tell me where Claire is! Dammit, I'm _sick _of people lying to me," he shouted, clenching his fists to stop himself from hitting something.

"Who else is lying to you?" she asked softly. Jack didn't reply – he had no answer. _My father_? he wondered, knowing that was the wrong answer. "And I'm not lying to you. Why can't you believe that?"

He laughed bitterly, shaking his head. "Because it's so absurd."

"Fine. Believe what you want, but let me answer your question..." she waited until she had his full attention. "...If you sit down first. You look like you're about to fall over, Jack."

He realized with a shock that he was slowly falling forward so he attempted to make his way back to the couch, swaying as he did so.

"How about some help?" There was amusement in Kate's voice as she grabbed onto his arm and steadied him.

"What happened to me?" he queried, not really expecting an answer.

But to his surprise she just helped him sit down, saying, "We'll get to that. Do you want to hear about Claire first?" Jack nodded, his concern about the woman coming before his own health issues. "Okay. Oceanic Flight 815, the plane we were on that crashed, it took off from Sydney. Claire lived there, and she was on that plane too."

"Of course she was," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Then why isn't she here now?"

Kate's eyes nearly filled with tears just thinking about it. She still remembered Jack's reaction that day. They way his eyes burned in fury as he glared at Sawyer, blaming the other man for the loss of Claire. She used to wonder if Jack had been able to forgive him, but more likely it had just made him hate Sawyer even more.

She'd never had the courage to ask Jack about that, now she wished she had. And it saddened her once again that he didn't remember any of it. Even bad memories would be better than none at all. _But he must remember something. Why else would he ask about Claire?_

Jack was staring at her impatiently so she tried to steady her voice and answer his question. Without meaning to, she replied the exact same way Sawyer had. "We lost her." She wondered if those words would mean anything to Jack. Watching him struggle to remain calm at her response, a losing battle, she assumed they didn't bring back any memories.

"You _lost_ her?! You can't just lose someone!"

"On this Island you can," she muttered under her breath, unable to help herself.

"What?!" Jack waited for an answer but she pretended not to hear him. "Fine! Don't tell me. It's a simple question but if you aren't going to answer then I'll find out for myself," he told her.

"What?" Kate was confused.

"I'm going to look for Claire on my own."

"Jack! You don't understand. Claire is gone. You didn't see her down by the lake, it was just a dream."

"What?" Now he was even more confused.

"I heard you talking in your sleep when were driving back here. You kept talking about Claire and..." she didn't want to mention Aaron's name, scared to find out why Jack had been dreaming about her son. _Claire's son!_ She wanted to hit herself on the head, maybe it would help her remember that Aaron was not her son. He never had been, she'd just pretended he was.

"How do I know you aren't just lying again?" he demanded.

"Because I haven't lied to you once." Maybe if Kate kept saying it then one of them would believe her.

"Well I'm not going to take that chance. If Claire is out there, then she needs my help."

Kate wasn't sure what Jack was planning to do if he already thought that Claire was dead, but he obviously wasn't thinking straight. _That's probably my fault_, Kate realized. _The pills didn't take so long to wear off last time_...

Jack stood up, but then fell down again. "What the...? You never answered my other question." Kate couldn't keep track of his thoughts anymore. "What's wrong with me?" he demanded when she didn't comment.

Obviously he didn't remember what she told him last night. _Which may be a good thing_, she realized. "You, uh, had some sleeping pills," Kate left out how he'd gotten them in the first place.

"No I didn't! I do not remember taking any kind of pill." _I just about did, though_, he thought, recalling his indecision about taking the Oxycodone pills he had found yesterday.

He knew the drugs were for pain and he was still unsure how he had wound up with them. Maybe he'd confiscated them from a patient and forgot, but no matter how wrong he knew it was, he was still tempted to swallow some. It seemed his body wanted him to and he nearly had, until Kate found him and...

_Shit_, he realized. _She wasn't lying. She really did find me by some caves_.

Jack could remember their short conversation clearly now, at least, the beginning part was clear. The last part he could remember was Kate asking him if he wanted any water. His memories after that were vague and fuzzy. He rubbed his head, concentrating so much he knew it would give him a headache later. Then something Kate had said popped into his mind.

_I crushed up some sleeping pills and put 'em in the water_. He was sure he'd made some idiotic comment in reply, but that wasn't his concern at the moment.

"You drugged me?!" he shouted, outraged. The corners of Kate's mouth pulled into a smile before she could control it; this was odd hearing him say the same thing three times to her since they'd met. "Is this _funny_ to you?"

Jack wanted so badly to hit something, in fact he was tempted to turn around and punch the wall, but he still had some small amount of dignity left.

"No, I'm sorry. It's just – "

He didn't give Kate a chance to explain. "That's it, I'm leaving!" His anger was so strong that he actually managed to stay upright and make it to the door this time.

"Wait! Jack, please. Just listen to me..."

"I have listened to you, Kate! And until you're ready to tell the truth, I'm done here. Goodbye." But just as he was about to open the door, it swung open on its own and smacked him straight in the face. Spots danced before his eyes and he slid to the floor.

"Well hell," he heard a voice with a strong Southern accent say. "Sorry 'bout that, Doc."

"Son of a _bitch_," Jack swore angrily. He blinked to clear his vision and found himself staring up into the rugged face of a man with long blonde hair. "Who are you?" he demanded. These people just kept appearing out of nowhere!

"I'm the one who saved yer ass last night when ya' were stuck in the middle o' the jungle. 'N now you're lyin' on the floor o' my house. So I'd appreciate a little gratitude, Jackass," the man spoke harshly.

"How'd you know I was a doctor?" Jack wondered, recalling his earlier comment.

"What?"

"You called me 'Doc.' I'm assuming that isn't just some nickname you came up with off the top of your head. If it is, well," he chuckled slightly, feeling a bit lightheaded, "then you were surprisingly accurate."

"Yeah..." The man turned to Kate. "Wow, ya' weren't kiddin', Freckles. He really don't remember anythin'?"

Jack didn't even bother to ask how Kate knew this guy. Clearly she was friends with everyone here, wherever 'here' was. Then he heard someone else's footsteps behind the door and he unintentionally cringed away, not wanting to get hit again.

"James? What are you doing?" This time the voice belonged to a female.

"Nothin' Sweetheart," the blonde man said, blushing slightly. "Just, uh, sayin' hello to Jacko."

"Oh, is he awake?" the woman asked, her voice getting closer as she stepped through the door. When she saw Jack sprawled on the floor, her eyes widened in surprise. "Oh my god! What did you do?" she demanded, glaring at the blonde man, who she'd called James.

"Hey, it ain't my fault he was standin' behind the door. How was I supposed to know?" James defended himself, sounding like a child who'd just been scolded.

Jack laughed to himself, enjoying the analogy.

"Well you can't just leave him lying there, James. He's bleeding and I think he's taken one too many hits to the head," the woman commented dryly, gesturing at Jack grinning on the floor.

"Fine, Sweetheart." He bent down, offering Jack a hand. "C'mon Dr. Giggles. Let's getcha back ta' the couch." Jack stared uncomprehendingly until James pulled him up by his arm, muttering under his breath. Jack heard something about "damn spinal surgeons" and "shoulda stayed in bed this mornin'."

He sat heavily on the couch once more, finding it ironic that every time he tried to leave he ended up right back here. But damn it was comfy...

Someone was snapping their fingers at him and he opened eyes that he hadn't realized he'd closed.

"There we go, Jack. How are you feeling?" the blonde woman asked. Her tone of voice reminded Jack of himself when he was with a patient. Then she pressed a wet cloth against his forehead and he was certain that she was a doctor.

"Who are you?" he asked groggily, finding it hard to focus.

"My name is Juliet." He smiled – the name suited her. "You don't remember me but we've met before."

"You were on the plane too." It was a statement, not a question, but she shook her head.

"No, I was – " She was cut off by Kate.

"Is he gonna be okay?" she asked, worry clear in her voice. The two of them shared a look and Jack wondered what they were silently communicating between each other.

Juliet nodded. "Yeah, Jack's going to be just fine. He's just having a bad reaction to the sleeping pills, they're taking longer to wear off than they should. And getting hit in the face with a door probably didn't help. But a little more rest and he'll be fine."

They were talking about Jack like he wasn't there, but he found it hard to be concerned. His eyelids were drooping and he knew he wouldn't be able to stay awake for much longer. He tried to fight the exhaustion, however, not comfortable falling asleep in front of these strangers. "I should go," he whispered.

"You're not going anywhere," Juliet instructed. "You can't just go wandering around here in this state."

"No, I'm leaving," he slurred, voice heavy. "I shouldn't be here 'n I don't even know where 'here' is..."

"I already told ya', it's my house," James responded, leaning against the doorframe. A look from Juliet made him backtrack. "Mine 'n Juliet's, that is."

"Yeah, but where are we? Kate said we were on an island, but..." it was becoming harder to speak and his head was throbbing painfully. He knew he would have a bruise or two later. His body was sinking lower and lower into the soft fabric and soon his eyes were completely closed.

He heard Juliet tell him softly, "We aren't on _an_ island, Jack. We're on _the_ Island, Jack." Then he fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.

* * * * *

Kate remained standing in the middle of the room, watching Jack drift into unconsciousness. She waited until his breathing evened out, then motioned towards the kitchen. Grabbing a blanket from a nearby chair, she draped it over Jack before turning away.

"Thank you," she told Juliet when they were out of earshot of the sleeping doctor.

The other woman looked at her and for the first time there was no resentment in her eyes, only concern for Jack. "He'd do the same thing for any of us," she simply said. They all knew it was true. But Juliet had a question for Kate too. "Why did you cut me off earlier?" she asked as she rinsed off the bloody cloth. "Jack needs to know that I wasn't on the plane. It's important not to lie to him."

"I didn't lie to him, I just think that if we're going to explain everything to him, it should be when he's fully aware. Not when he's about to fall over because he's so tired." Kate was aware that she was trying to justify not telling Jack everything, but in truth she was afraid of what his reaction would be.

"Oh yeah? So you want him ta' actually have the energy ta' yell at ya' when ya' try 'n explain this ta' him?" Sawyer questioned sarcastically, walking into the room.

"He won't yell if we can get him to remember," Kate stated firmly, but even she knew how unlikely that would be.

"Well if ya' got any ideas, I'd love ta' hear 'em."

_Thanks for all the help, Sawyer_, she thought angrily. "Just give me some time, okay?"

"Hate ta' tell ya', darling, but we're runnin' out o' time. If ya' wanna pass off as a new recruit then we need ta' get ya' inta some better clothes 'n ya' take ya' ta' the registration desk. Hugo's already been there, I think he's got kitchen duty."

"Recruit?" Kate asked, not comprehending.

"Yeah, here's the thing," Sawyer began. "Remember when I told ya' it was 1977? Well me 'n Jules here, we got jobs 'n stuff now. I'm head of security 'n she works down at the Motor Pool. Miles 'n Jin're security too, which is how he found ya'. 'N yer lucky it was him. I don' even wanna think 'bout what woulda happened if it was the hostiles. Or Horace..."

He took a deep breath, letting that sink in. Kate wondered who Horace was. "No one knows we're from the future, obviously that would be kinda difficult ta' explain. So we can't just show up here with a bunch o' new people. This means that ya' gotta pretend you're a new member who just came off the sub. We can say the drugs took longer ta' wear off..."

Juliet cut in. "I managed to put yours and Hurley's names on the sub manifest, but I wasn't sure whether or not Jack would be ready for work yet. It would probably be better if he didn't interact with anyone here until we can fully inform him about what's going on."

"What if that doesn't work?" Kate hoped it would, but they had to be prepared in case it didn't. "Is he just going to be stuck here in your house forever? Thank you for letting us both stay here last night, by the way." She was eternally grateful to have somewhere to sleep for a few hours before dealing with Jack again. But she'd spent most of the night tossing and turning in Juliet and Sawyer's small guest room.

Her worries had kept her up for most of the night, her thoughts constantly coming back to Jack passed out on the couch in the next room.

"Don't worry 'bout it," Sawyer shrugged off the appreciation, uncomfortable.

"I still don't understand. What am I supposed to do?"

The couple sighed at the same time and Kate struggled to contain her smile. Now that she and Sawyer had decided to be nothing more than friends, Kate could see how adorable the two of them really were together. Sawyer was even holding Juliet's hand, which seemed like a natural thing for them.

Kate found herself wishing briefly for the times when she and Jack had been that way.

"Okay. I'll make it real simple for ya'. Basically all ya' gotta do is sign in 'n wait for yer assignment. We ain't to sure what it'll be. I suggested puttin' ya in the garage with Jules but we donno if it'll work out."

"And where is Hurley?" Kate realized she missed his smiling face and optimism. It was nice to have him in stressful situations like this.

"At the kitchen. He's a chef now. Juliet told me he was real excited 'bout that. It's a good thing too, 'cause he's probably gonna be doin' that for a while. He's got his room assignment already too, so ya' don't need ta' worry 'bout good ol' Hugo, Kate."

"Room assignment?" No one had mentioned anything about sharing living spaces. Kate had just assumed she would get one to herself, there were a lot of little yellow houses in Dharmaville, after all.

"Yeah, sorry. There ain't much we can do 'bout that. There just ain't enough room for everyone ta' live alone. But that's just fine with me," he added, gazing tenderly at Juliet, who blushed with pleasure.

Suddenly Kate was glad she wouldn't have to stay in this house for long. It was great that Sawyer was happy, but the intimacy was getting to be too much for her. "Will one of you please show me where the registration office is, then?" she asked, working to keep the jealousy out of her voice.

"You go, James," Juliet suggested. "I need to stay here and keep an eye on Jack."

"Now hold on a sec, if he wakes up 'n tries ta' escape, ya' ain't gonna be able ta' stop him," Sawyer protested.

"No, but I will be able to make sure he doesn't get a fever or fall into a coma," Juliet pointed out.

"Can that happen?" Kate asked.

"I highly doubt it, but who knows. After what's already happened to Jack, I don't want to take any chances."

Kate agreed with her, thankful that someone else was genuinely concerned for Jack's well-being. She knew Sawyer wasn't. He was just going along with what she wanted.

"Well, let's get goin' then, huh?"

* * *

Stepping out into the sunshine, Kate raised her hand to shade her eyes. They walked past many of the small houses, looking much more inhabited since the last time Kate had seen them. Back when she'd chosen Sawyer over Jack.

_Things sure have changed since then_, she thought to herself.

Sawyer finally stopped outside a canary yellow building that looked just like all the others, except slightly larger. Inside were many different cubicles with racks and racks of towels or filing cabinets behind them.

Kate was led to a desk on the far side of the room where a young woman with curly red hair was writing on a piece of paper.

"Amy, what're ya' doin' here?" Sawyer asked. Kate detected a note of irritation in his voice, but it was overshadowed by his concern. "I thought Juliet toldja not ta' work today."

Amy smiled softly and the expression lit up her face, allowing Kate to see how pretty she really was. "Ethan is at home with Horace right now," she explained. Kate noticed Sawyer flinch in surprise.

"Ya' named the kid Ethan?" Then Kate understood, or at least, she thought she did. She turned to look at Sawyer and saw him nod his head slightly, knowing they were both thinking the same thing.

"Yes. Doesn't it suit him perfectly?" Her voice was filled with love, the same way Kate had once sounded when she'd talked about Aaron.

"Sure," Sawyer replied hastily. "It's a great name. But why is H at home?"

"He's taking the morning off because I told him I had some filing to do today." That was when she noticed Kate standing behind Sawyer.

"Who's this?" Amy still sounded friendly but her tone now held a wary edge to it. Kate knew right away that this woman had experienced trauma in her life. That was the only reason this woman would have to be afraid of her.

"She's a new recruit. Her name's Kate. Kate Austen, right?" He looked at her for approval.

Kate nodded her head, playing along. She heard Amy sigh in relief. "Hello, Kate. Nice to meet you, and Namaste."

"She had a bad reaction ta' the sedative from the sub, so we had ta' wait 'til she woke up." Sawyer was still just as good at lying as he had been three years ago. _But at least now it comes in handy_, Kate realized.

"Oh, you poor thing," Amy sympathized. "Well just let me see if I can find your name here, okay." She reached for a folder on the edge of the desk, flipping it open and scanning the names. "Austen...Austen, there we go. It says here that you're working in the motor pool. I'll see if we have a jumpsuit for you, just hold on for a minute..."

Amy stood up and shuffled through the clothing piles behind her. "Huh, I can't find yours. That's odd."

"Maybe I can help," Kate suggested as she stepped forward. Amy was several inches shorter than her and Kate figured she could reach the suits on the top shelf easier than the young woman could.

"Thank you," Amy said gratefully. "Sorry, I just had a baby and I guess I'm not as flexible as I used to be."

Kate stood on her toes and rifled through the stacks of outfits on the high rack.

"Yours is blue," Amy added after a few minutes of unsuccessful searching.

"I don't think it's here." Kate was reluctant to admit defeat, hoping it wouldn't cause any problems for her or Sawyer, but it was clear her uniform was not in this office.

"It's okay, we can get one made for you by tomorrow. I guess you'll just have to borrow one for now," Amy gave in, sitting back down and grabbing another form to fill out.

Kate tried to fix the piles of clothes so they appeared neatly folded once more, but as she was bending down she felt her shirt catch on something. "Oh," she muttered, surprised. Kate pulled, trying to free herself from the nail that she now noticed sticking out of the wall. Except she didn't hear a ripping noise like she expected. Instead it sounded like a chain was breaking. Then something hit the floor and she knew what had happened.

"Oh no," Kate gasped as she picked up the object. Suddenly she felt an overwhelming sense of hopelessness and everything she was trying to do seemed impossible. How would she ever get Jack to remember her? It could never happen.

The weight of her task was unbearable and she clutched the object tightly in her fist, wishing she could go back to a time when life had been easier. When she didn't have to chose between Jack or Aaron, it was just the three of them as a family.

That was when she realized just how much she'd lost already.

And then she burst into tears.

* * *

What is this mysterious object? Guess. ;)

Up next: Jack and Kate have a talk, with exciting results. And a _flashback_!


	6. Memories

Thank you to everyone for all the reviews. I really appreciate all your feedback and suggestions. Thank you especially to Lyon and RJ for the ideas in this chapter. :)

The song is by Kelly Clarkson, called _Already Gone. _There's another poll at the end of this chapter. Enjoy. :)

* * *

**Chapter 6: Memories**

_Remember all the things we wanted.  
__Now all our memories, they're haunted.  
__We were always meant to say goodbye.  
__Even with our fists held high it  
__Never would've worked out right, yeah.  
__We were never meant for do or die._

Kate felt a hand reach down and pat her shoulder. Looking up, she saw it was Amy. _Of course_. _Sawyer can't act like he knows me, otherwise our plan will never work_. The thought saddened her even more. She struggled to control herself, knowing how foolish she was acting. Finally the tears stopped and Kate sat quietly, gasping for breath.

"I'm sorry, honey," Amy said, her voice filled with compassion. "But I have to ask what's going on."

Kate gazed tenderly down at the object in her hands. It was a delicate silver chain, one she had forgotten she'd been wearing. Then she realized what was missing – the engagement ring Jack had given her three months ago. It seemed like forever now. She got down on her hands and knees, searching desperately.

_What if I've lost it for good_? she moaned to herself. If she couldn't even keep track of one small object, how was she ever supposed to look after Jack?

"What're ya' lookin' for?" Sawyer asked. Kate was astonished that he didn't already know.

Finally, she saw a flash of silver underneath Amy's desk. She grabbed it swiftly, thankful when the cool metal pressed against her skin. Opening her palm, Kate let out a sigh of relief as she inspected the ring. There was barely a scratch on it.

"Thank god," she whispered, stroking her most treasured keepsake. The diamond in the center shone brightly as it reflected the light coming in a window.

Sawyer gasped in surprise, shocked that Kate had brought the ring with her. But it was Amy's reaction that startled them both.

"I'm sorry Miss Austen, but you're going to have to leave," she said cooly.

"What?"

"If you are involved in a romantic relationship, we cannot permit you to join the Dharma Initiative."

Kate was still confused. Why did she have to leave? What had she done? Then another thought occurred to her. Where would she go off the Island in 1977? There was no one waiting for her back home, she couldn't go back there.

"Now hold on a sec," came Sawyer's voice, saving her once again. "Why are ya' kickin' Austen offa this rock?" he demanded. Kate was grateful, she wouldn't be able to speak without her voice cracking. All that she had worked so hard for, now it was just going to be thrown away. And she would be on her own once more, except this time there was no Jack to rescue her and no Aaron to keep her company.

"I'm sorry, I really am." Amy truly sounded upset. And Kate was sorry for causing her all this trouble. "But women who have people waiting for them back home tend not to stay very long. That's why we usually ask for couples to either come together or not at all."

Kate nearly laughed in relief. That's what this was about? "Then you don't have to worry." She looked back down at the ring. "It didn't work out."

_"You're not even _related _to him." Jack's words will remain seared into her mind for as long as she lives._

_Having to explain to Aaron as she tucks him back in what 'related' means is one of the hardest things she's ever done. Thankfully her son doesn't fully understand what Jack had said._

_But it is Aaron's final question that breaks her heart. __"Where's Jack?" he asks, worrying about the man he's come to know as Dad. "Is he gonna be okay? Is he coming back?"_

_Fighting against the tears that threaten to spill down her cheeks, Kate wraps him in a big hug. But he is waiting for an answer, so she takes a deep breath and prepares herself for what she is about to do._

_"I don't know, sweet pea. But I'm sure he's coming back soon." __That is a lie. She knows Jack won't be coming home, not after seeing the expression on his face when he turned away from her and Aaron. __But how can she tell a two year old boy that his father has left him? Kate doesn't have the heart to do it._

_Turning out the light as she leaves, Kate looks tenderly around Aaron's room. It is filled with happy memories of her and Aaron spending time with Jack. Now she has tainted the innocence of Aaron's memory and she will never forgive Jack for that._

_The next day Kate is sitting at the kitchen table with tears streaming down her cheeks. Aaron is at preschool – she and Jack made the decision to enroll him early last month – and it took all of her efforts to hold herself together until her son was gone._

_Now she is sitting alone, twirling a ring between her fingers. The engagement ring Jack had proposed to her with only a few nights ago. Kate can't believe how much has changed since then. Jack is gone and she doubts he will ever be back._

_After Aaron had fallen asleep last night, she'd waited for Jack to return. She was still awake at five in the morning, which was when she finally gave up all hope. Jack had left for good, left her and Aaron alone. She threw the ring that was still on her finger across the room in anger, hating Jack more than she ever thought was possible._

_How could he do this to her?_

_Kate had been tempted to throw the ring away. But as she was standing over the sink, planning to throw it down the drain – which was symbolic of their relationship going the same way – she found herself unable to part with it._

_So she sits at the table, deciding what to do._

_Kate chooses to keep the ring as a reminder of the good times she and Jack had once spent together._

_Eventually she slips it onto a chain so it won't get lost. And each day when she wakes up alone, she clutches the necklace that she always sleeps with. Wondering what had happened to her and Jack._

_He doesn't take many things, just stops by a week later to pick up a few clothes. __Kate tells Aaron to go upstairs when she answers the door and sees who it is. Her son still won't stop asking about Jack, and she doesn't want to give him any more false hope._

_"What are you doing here?" she whispers, her voice full of pain and anger._

_"I, uh, just came by to get my stuff," he answers, his eyes unfocused._

_Without thinking about it, Kate slaps him. Hard. __"How _dare_ you come here to my house after what you did?" Her voice is raised, and she quickly lowers it, not wanting to alarm Aaron. __"You can't just show up here after walking out on us. And you're drunk!" She spits the word at him, so furious she is shaking._

_"Look, Kate. I'm sorry, it's just not gonna work out. I can't be a father, okay? I'd mess everything up." Through the haze of the alcohol, Kate can see the anguish he is feeling._

_"Jack. When you asked me if I thought you were good at this, I really meant what I said. You are a great dad to Aaron," Kate puts as much honesty in her words as possible._

_"But after what I said to you. He, oh god," Jack runs a hand through his short hair. "He heard me. And now he knows that we aren't even his parents. What the hell kind of father am I?"_

_"The best kind," Kate says gently. "Not like this. But when you read him stories and take him to the park and let him ride on your shoulders. That's what Aaron remembers. He doesn't think about what you said that night. He doesn't even know what it meant. All he wants is his dad back."_

_But he won't believe her. _

_So Kate tells him to come back tomorrow, when Aaron is at preschool. She leaves him a key under the front door mat, because she won't be there to say goodbye. __When she comes home later that evening after picking Aaron up, the house looks the same as it did when she left that morning. But now it feels emptier._

_The rest of Jack's belongings Kate packs into a box. She places it underneath the bed, not willing to throw it away. __Sometimes she pulls out one of the shirts he left behind and wears it to bed. The clothes still smell like him and she feels safe and loved when wearing them._

_But then she realizes, once again, that she is alone. And waking up alone is enough to make her wish she would never have to wake up at all._

"I'm sorry to hear that," Amy said, startling Kate from her thoughts.

"I should go," Kate changed the subject. "Should I start work now?"

Amy looked at Sawyer, unsure.

"Ya' don't have ta' work today. Remember the woman I introduced ya' ta' yesterday? Juliet? She's takin' the day off but she promised ta' help ya' get started tomorrow. Sound good?" Kate nodded, relieved that she wouldn't have to work right now. She wasn't really feeling up to it. "'N ya' need ta' go home too, Amy," Sawyer continued. "Ya' should be at home with Ethan, not here."

"I will, thank you Jim."

Kate blinked. Jim? Since when did anyone ever call Sawyer _Jim_? She made a mental note to ask him about that later.

"Do ya' have her room assignment, Amy? I can show Austen 'round for a bit."

Amy shuffled through the stacks of papers until she found what she was looking for. "Here you go." She handed the sheet to Sawyer. "Nice to meet you, Kate."

* * *

The walk back to Sawyer's house was quiet. Each of them was lost in thought.

"What're we gonna do 'bout the Doc, Freckles?" Sawyer asked.

"I have an idea," Kate told him quietly, playing with the ring in her hand. She didn't want to put it on her finger, but she needed a new chain.

"Do you have an extra necklace I could put this on?"

Sawyer turned to look at her, smiling. "I'll have ta' check my jewelry box, Sweetheart. 'N maybe ya' wanna borrow some high heels too?"

"You know what I mean," Kate laughed.

"Why don'tcha just ask Juliet?" he questioned.

"She doesn't like me very much," she admitted, to Sawyer's amusement.

"Now that ain't true, Jules is just uh..."

"It's okay," Kate promised. "I don't blame her."

They lapsed back into silence until they reached his house. The white porch filled Kate with too many memories. She was sick and tired of them.

Unexpectedly, Sawyer pulled her into a hug.

"Um, aren't people going to see us?" she reminded him. He just shook his head.

"It don't matter, Kate. What does matter is ya' bein' happy. We all gotta cheer up for poor Jack-o. I bet he's havin' a real though time right 'bout now, huh?"

_He's right_, Kate thought. She needed to put on a smiling face for Jack, he didn't respond well to anger.

"But before we go in," Sawyer began as she put her hand on the door knob. "Why didja bring the ring?" he asked softly, letting a small amount of hurt enter his voice. "Were ya' plannin' on gettin' back together with the Doc?"

Kate wanted to shout at the blonde man that it was none of his business. But he deserved to know, she owed him that much. "No, I did not think I was coming here to start another relationship with Jack. I honestly just meant to come here and find Claire. But now that Jack needs me, well, I can't just turn away from him. I don't know if we're going to get back together. But I'm not going to force myself on him, if that's what you mean. And you should be thankful I did bring the ring, because now I have some proof for Jack."

She opened the door and stepped in, glancing back and seeing the stunned look on Sawyer's face. Obviously the ring's usefulness hadn't even occurred to him.

The first thing Kate noticed when she entered the house was the delicious smell. She saw Juliet cooking something in the kitchen. "Hi," Kate greeted the other woman.

"Hey," Juliet said in return, but she wasn't looking at Kate. A smile appeared on her face when Sawyer walked through the door. "How'd it go?"

Kate went to check on Jack while Sawyer went to talk with Juliet. She could hear their voices drift in from the kitchen.

"Is everything okay?" Juliet asked.

"Yeah, it's great. Looks like Kate's gonna be working at the garage with ya'," Sawyer replied.

Kate tuned them out as she stared down at Jack. He looked so peaceful when he was sleeping, she'd always enjoyed watching him. Unable to stop herself, she reached down and tucked the blankets tighter around him, then stroked his cheek.

He responded to her touch, smiling slightly and mumbling something she couldn't understand. But for a moment his hand moved to grasp hers and he held on too strongly for someone who was sleeping.

"Don't let me go," Kate whispered, filled with emotion. Then he went limp and continued talking in his sleep.

"Anyone can hit a ball. That's not golf," he teased, sounding so clear and coherent that Kate was sure he'd woken up. She smiled, remembering how much fun they'd had that day, at least, until Jack had to go save someone else's life. He'd always been too busy for her back then.

Maybe now things would be different.

Then he snored and rolled over.

* * *

In the kitchen, Sawyer wrapped his arms around Juliet and kissed her lightly. "What was that for," she asked, reddening.

"'Cause you're you," he whispered. "I missed ya' this mornin'."

"James, we're usually apart for most of the day," she reminded him.

"Yeah, well..."

Juliet sighed. "Things are different now, I know." But Sawyer shook his head in protest.

"Nah, things ain't different. It's just, seein' what happened between Kate 'n the Good Doctor in there," he pointed to the living room, "makes me thankful for what we have."

"I know," she admitted, then he pulled her into a deeper kiss. They broke apart but remained in each other's arms for a moment. Until Juliet swatted him playfully on the shoulder. "Now stop distracting me, I have to pay attention or the food will burn." Sawyer moved to stand by the door, out of her way.

"Smells great. What're we havin'?"

"You didn't notice?" she joked.

"I was too busy lookin' atcha," Sawyer countered.

"Well we're having sandwiches. But I made some soup for Jack. It will be good for when he wakes up. He can't have something too solid, I'm not sure how his system will handle it."

Kate chose that moment to enter the kitchen, catching the tail end of their conversation. "Do you have any crackers?" she asked.

* * *

Jack woke up to the smell of chicken noodle soup and saltine crackers. The enticing scents and the good dream he'd just had put him in a good mood. Of course, he had no idea what he'd been dreaming about. But he was pretty sure it involved golf.

Sitting up slowly he saw a tray had been placed on a small table beside him. His stomach growled and he realized how hungry he was. When was the last time he'd eaten?

"Feeling better?" a voice that was becoming more and more familiar asked.

"Yeah," he lied. His head was still pounding and he could feel the bruises on his face. He would never admit that, but Kate saw right through him.

"You should eat some crackers. Crackers always make me feel better." The phrase sounded vaguely familiar but Jack couldn't remember where it came from.

"Is that from a commercial?" he wondered. Kate smiled mysteriously and he knew she wasn't going to answer him. She wanted Jack to figure it out for himself. "Where'd uh," he wracked his brain for the names of the man and woman he'd met earlier. "Jim and Julie go?"

Kate chuckled, finding it amusing that Jack had called the couple by their nicknames without meaning to. "You mean James and Juliet? They took some sandwiches and went down to the beach for lunch." As they'd left, Kate wished she and Jack could do the same. The used to eat together on the beach, but it would be different with real food.

_Although, most of the food will be Dharma stuff, so it's not that different_, she realized.

"James and Juliet," Jack repeated, liking the way the two names sounded together. But for a brief moment he found himself thinking how his own name would sound with Juliet's.

"Are you hungry?" Kate asked as he continued to sit there. Nodding, Jack grabbed the tray of food.

The taste of the soup was amazing. It was so simple, yet so good. He nearly moaned in delight. Kate was nibbling on a cracker, watching him with a hint of amusement in her eyes. Suddenly Jack became aware of how rude he was being. "Sorry, did you want some?"

She smiled and his heart began to beat faster as he noticed how close she had gotten. Unconsciously they had both leaned over, trying to be near each other. Jack straightened up, frightened about how attracted he was to this woman he had just met.

"Why do I feel like I know you?" he blurted out, not really thinking about how that would sound.

Kate gazed deep into his eyes and Jack wondered what she saw there. Her own face seemed to be glowing with happiness. Suddenly she reached into her pocket and pulled out something small and round. "Do you remember this?" she asked nervously. Would Jack recognize it at all? She passed it to him and Jack was surprised to see that it was a diamond ring.

"N – " he was about to answer, before he was hit with a strange feeling. Something about this situation seemed so familiar that he was unable to deny it.

_Do you really think that I'm good at this?_

"Yeah, you're good at this," Kate replied. Jack didn't know he'd spoken aloud. Why would he say that? What did it mean? Then another flash of images passed through his mind. He understood that these were not just pictures he was imagining. They were memories.

Kate was staring at him expectantly and for a moment he felt a rush of tenderness towards her. "I remember, Kate," he told her.

"What? Oh my god. What do you remember, Jack?" she stood up in excitement, unable to control her enthusiasm.

He paused, trying to figure out what those memories meant. Then he knew.

"Us."

* * *

Okay, I think it's about time for another poll.

What should Jack's first memory of Kate be?

a) When they first met and she stitched him up. Standard black. Haha

b) The two of them getting caught in a net together

c) Jack seeing Kate and Sawyer on the surveillance camera

d) Guava seeds

e) Sinking

f) Any other ideas?

And a question: Would a Sulby (Suliet baby) be better than a Jaby? Or should there be both? (credit to Northern Wolf for the Sulby name and Tabitha of MoonAurora for the idea)


	7. Loved

Thanks so much for all the reviews. And thank you to **K. Palafox **and** p** for the ideas in this chapter. :) Sorry this took so long to update, but I've been really busy this week.

For those of you who were confused about my options for the previous poll, sorry about that.

d) **Guava seeds** is in the season 1 episode _Hearts and Minds_. Jack gives Kate some "slimy little blueish black thingys" (guava seeds) to put in Sun's garden.

e) **Sinking **is also from season 1, the episode _Raised by Another_. Kate plans to "sink her way right off the Island."

The song is _Far Away _by Nickelback, which has an awesome music video is awesome, by the way. :)

* * *

**Chapter 7: Loved**

_I wanted,  
__I wanted you to stay.  
_'_Cause I needed,  
__I need to hear you say  
__That I love you.  
__I've loved you all along.  
__And I forgive you  
__For being away for far too long.  
__So keep breathing,  
_'_Cause I'm not leaving you anymore.  
__Believe it,  
__Hold on to me and never let me go._

"Do ya' want another sandwich, Blondie?" James asked, reaching his hand into the picnic basket.

"No thank you," she told him, holding up the half finished ham and cheese one in her hand.

"These're real good," he complimented, taking a big bite. "Ya' make the best picnic food."

Juliet laughed and finished her sandwich. Then she lay down on the blanket, placing her head in James' lap. "I'm glad you like it."

James grunted in agreement, then fell silent, listening to the sounds of Dharma off in the distance. Children's shouts of joy mixed with the buzz of adults enjoying lunch on the nice sunny day.

"We should go to the cafeteria sometime," Juliet suggested. "I've heard that Hurley's food is really popular." James smirked, hiding his relief that Hugo seemed to have found his place already. As for the other two...

"He's just takin' advantage o' the whole time travel thing. Most o' the food he serves ain't even been invented yet."

"Well, it would be fun to do sometime." Juliet remained stubborn.

"Yeah, yeah." James tried to act uncaring, but Juliet knew she could convince him eventually. He decided it was time to change the subject. "What're we gonna do 'bout Jack?" James asked, voicing the question they were both thinking.

Juliet had been shocked enough to hear that some of the survivors had returned. Learning that Jack didn't remember a thing had only added to her sense of foreboding. How long would they be able to keep up this charade now? With so many people from the future wandering around, someone was bound to notice things were not right...

"We could say he's one o' the crew members from our ship."

"What?" Juliet asked.

"When we first met Horace, we told him we were from a salvage vessel, remember? He let us stay so we could find the rest o' our people. Jack could be one o' 'em. It just took him a long time ta' show up."

She was already shaking her head as James continued to talk. "No one would believe that he'd survived in the jungle for three years by himself. The first thing they'd ask is if he's a Hostile." James hated to admit it, but she was right.

"Ya' got a better plan then, Blondie?"

"I guess we just keep him at our house for now," Juliet decided. "He can't be wandering around the barracks talking about who knows what. People will start to ask questions."

"Yeah," James agreed, stroking her hair softly. Juliet closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling. "I guess we'll just have ta' wait 'til the next sub comes. Though I donno how long that could be..." he continued, reminding Juliet of another problem.

"Are we going to tell him it's 1977?" she asked, opening her eyes wide. There hadn't been much time to discuss anything when James and Kate had stumbled in the door the previous night, carrying a sleeping Jack between them. Now Juliet was thankful for a few moments of peace amidst the confusion. They desperately needed a plan.

"How do ya' think Mr. I-Never-React-Badly will feel?" James' question was filled with sarcasm, but Juliet had become so used to it that she hardly noticed anymore.

"He'll need a new nickname," she replied smoothly. James burst out laughing, grinning at her in appreciation. "We'll have to make sure Kate doesn't tell him," Juliet suggested but James was still chuckling, not paying attention.

"'N that's why I love ya'," he said lightly. But the phrase sounded more honest now.

Juliet noticed too. _Odd_, she contemplated. _I thought the return of Jack and Kate would break us apart. But it seems to only be bringing us closer._

James pulled her into his lap and wrapped her in a hug. "I love ya'," he whispered softly, liking how the words rolled off his tongue. It had become so easy to say these days. _Some o' it's thanks ta' Freckles_, he thought, recognizing her role in this. An unwilling part of him had always been waiting for her. But now that she'd fallen head over heels for Jack, he was finally able to move on.

"I love you too, James," Juliet replied.

"I know. 'N let's hope that never changes." He moved their picnic basket off to the side and lay down, Juliet beside him. Neither of them said anything, too caught up in the moment. "Hey, ya' ever think o' getting' married some day, darlin'?"

Juliet sat up and glanced over at him, startled at the unexpected comment. "Why? Are you available?" she joked but James ignored her. He stared out across the water, contemplating. Juliet waited for him to continue with his train of thought, as she knew he would.

"I don't want the same thing ta' happen ta' us," he muttered.

"Um..."

"Oh, sorry. Just thinkin' aloud. But I don't want us ta' end up like Jack 'n Kate," James explained. Juliet still didn't understand. "They were engaged," he told her. She was surprised at the sudden rush of jealousy she felt. _Jack was going to marry Kate_. The idea seemed so absurd that Juliet rejected it immediately.

James saw he shaking her head and he frowned, hoping she didn't still have any feelings for the doctor. "It's true. Didja see the ring Kate was holdin' when we walked in? It was the engagement ring Saint Jack gave her."

Juliet felt sad for a moment, it was strange to imagine Jack marrying Kate. But then again, he'd always loved the brunette more. "She told you this?" Juliet asked, knowing the answer, but still wanting to hear James say it.

He looked surprised at how unhappy she sounded. "Yeah, Kate did. 'N she also thinks ya' don't like her much. Is that true, Jules?"

For some odd reason Juliet couldn't help comparing James to her father. They both had that same tone of voice, making her feel like she was in trouble. "No," she answered, not sure if she was lying or not. Juliet wasn't very fond of Kate, but she didn't hate her. At least, not anymore.

Back when she had been alone on a beach of strangers, Jack was her only friend and ally. No one should have blamed her for falling for him, but Kate did. And when Juliet realized just how deep Jack's feelings were for the young woman, she also understood that she herself didn't stand a chance.

_I guess I'm still holding that against her_, she thought. "I'm sorry," Juliet said aloud. "I didn't know she felt that way." And she was sorry. Maybe she should take a lesson from Kate and try to put the past behind her.

"Just try 'n be nicer, what'dya say, Sweetheart?" She answered by bringing her lips to his. James pulled her closer, deepening the kiss. When they broke apart, both were gasping slightly.

Then they lay back down on the blanket, Juliet snuggling into the crook of his arm, and listened to the sound of the waves. All their problems – and lunch – forgotten for the moment.

* * *

Jack was staring at the ring in his hand, trying to control the flashes of memories that were assaulting his mind. Then his vision faded and everything went black.

_He is walking. Through the jungle. Following behind a group of people, but feeling like he should be leading. The weight of a backpack is heavy on his shoulders and his shirt is soaked with sweat._

_Looking for someone, his eyes scan the trees until he spots her. Kate. She is sitting on a rock, near a small stream. __He walks toward her, watching as she takes her shoe off and turns it upside down, shaking gently._

_"You okay?" he asks, genuine concern filling his voice. She looks up to see who's talking to her, but doesn't smile. He senses her quiet despair and frustration, wishing he could make her smile instead._

_"Yeah," she replies, brushing her hair out of her eyes. He hears her sighing and can almost picture her thinking, _Go away, Jack_. "I just...had a rock in my shoe."_

_He nods, pretending to believe her, but they both know she is not okay. He turns away, watching the large group of people slowly making their way through the foliage._

_Kate is waiting for him to say something, knowing he is talking to her for a reason. She remains silent while he gathers his thoughts and bends down beside her. __She doesn't look at him, pretending to be busy tying her shoe. But he is certain she will listen to what he has to say._

_"He didn't mean it, you know," he tells Kate. Now she does look at him. Her expression is wary and he sees her glancing from side to side, looking for a way to escape if necessary. _Old habits... _he thinks, saddened that Kate still feels the need to run._

_But for the moment, she stays still, waiting for him to continue. __"What?" she asks._

_"Sawyer." The name makes her look down in pain. He knows how hurt and lonely she must be feeling, which is why he is here talking to her. He wants to make those feelings go away. __"When he said that he didn't want you to go with him, he didn't mean it." She smiles slightly, aware that he is trying to cheer her up._

_"If he didn't mean it, why'd he say it?" Kate challenges._

_"I was trying to protect you," he replies, not answering her directly. She looks at him, startled at his change of topic. "That's why I asked you not to come back for me." They both know he's not just talking about himself._

_They lapse into silence and Kate stares at him with her deep green eyes. He breaks their connection before he gets lost in her gaze. Sighing slightly, he stands up and turns back towards the group. She pauses for a moment, confused at what has just happened, then she rises too._

_"Hey," she begins, her voice stopping him from walking away. Of course he glances back, powerless to resist. Now there is a smile on her lips as she continues. "Why are you stickin' up for Sawyer? He'd never do it for you."_

_He isn't sure how to answer, so he chuckles and looks away. Suddenly, he knows what to say. He wonders how she will react, but it's the truth. And he figures it needs to be said. __So he stares directly into her eyes, and tells her the one thing he thought he's convinced himself never to say._

_"Because I love you."_

"What do you remember?" Kate asked again, hoping this time Jack would answer her. After he'd said he remembered 'us', Jack had fallen silent. Now he was staring, unmoving, at a spot on the wall. She watched him, so exhausted by her lack of sleep these past few nights that she would have dozed off if it hadn't been for the anticipation.

Finally Jack appeared to snap out of his trance and he turned to look at her, confused and angry. "Who's Sawyer?" he asked and Kate nearly cried in frustration. After all that, the only thing Jack remembered was his worst enemy? _It isn't fair! _She wanted to scream at him. _Why can't you remember me too?_

When she didn't answer, Jack looked at her and his expression softened. "I love you," he whispered, all talk of Sawyer forgotten. Kate melted, smiling so much that it hurt.

Then they both realized what he had said. Jack flushed – whether in embarrassment or anger, she didn't know. He stood up, knocking the bowl of soup to the floor, not even noticing. "Why did I just say that?" he demanded. Kate was frozen, unable to say anything. She didn't even flinch when Jack stomped towards her and grabbed her by the arm, pulling her to her feet. "Why. Do. I. Love. You?" Each word was a separate sentence, every syllable filled with hatred. And behind that rage, Kate saw not only terrible confusion, but also bitter resignation and hopelessness.

"I – I don't know," she squeaked, terror finally setting in. Jack was still holding on to her arm and it was starting to go numb from the pain of his grasp. She could see that he had no intention of letting her go, and that frightened her more than anything.

The Jack she'd known would never have hurt her, no matter what. But this Jack didn't know her. To him, she was just another stranger. One who was lying to him, causing him pain. Kate had never seen Jack act this way, except to people who hurt her or their friends. Now she was the enemy, and for once she didn't know how to talk herself out of this. She'd thought she could handle Jack, but she'd been wrong.

"Answer me, Kate!" Unable to control herself, Kate began to tremble. She was so terrified, which Jack must have seen in her eyes, because he quickly released her and stepped away. He stood glowering at her for a few seconds before his anger drained away. "Oh god Kate, I'm so sorry. I don't understand what's happening to me."

She was still shaking, and when he moved closer, she backed away. "You're still just the same!" Kate shouted at him, her voice wavering. "You need to learn to let things go, Jack, or this is never going to work!"

He looked at her in bewilderment. "Or _what _is never going to work?"

Kate couldn't believe it, he still didn't understand! "Don't you get it? This," she pointed at him, then herself. "Us." Jack continued to stand there mutely. "That ring you're holding, you gave it to me. Do you remember that?"

He glanced down and saw that he was clutching something tightly in his fist. He'd completely forgotten about the ring. But what had Kate said? _You gave it to me. _"I'm pretty sure I wouldn't forget giving an expensive piece of jewelry to someone, Kate," he said, brushing off her question.

"It's more than just that," she told him softly. "It's an engagement ring."

He reeled back in shock, dropping the ring as he did so. "What are you trying to say? You think _I _gave this to you?" Jack demanded, glaring at Kate. She fell to her hands and knees without replying. Instead she mentally cursed herself for letting the ring get lost twice in one day. "Do you?" he repeated, his voice rising even more. Kate was sure people outside could hear him by now.

"Yeah, Jack. I do think that, because you did give it to me," she admitted, hoping if she answered his question he would calm down.

"Why the hell would I do that?"

"You loved me." Kate put emphasis of the past tense, since they both knew he didn't love her anymore. Not that he remembered loving her in the first place.

"So that memory I just had, it was real?" He spoke softly now, catching Kate's attention. She'd spotted the ring lying underneath the couch and as she was reaching under to get it, she realized what he'd said. She jerked her head up, hitting it on the bottom of the couch.

"Ow," she exclaimed, pain jolting through her. But she ignored it and focused on Jack. He was still standing there, looking more lost and confused than she had ever seen him. He started to move towards her, wanting to make sure she was alright, but then he thought better of it.

Kate slowly rose to her feet and stepped forward, stopping only when they were close enough to touch. She held his hand, clasping it in hers, and looked up into his tired face. The bruises from hitting the door this morning stood out against his pale skin, making him look even more exhausted.

_I wonder if I look the same way_, she thought briefly. It was taking all her concentration just to stand up straight and not fall over. _I really need a nap_. But would she even be able to sleep? "What did you remember?" Kate asked, bringing her attention back to Jack. She hoped she already knew the answer, but she wanted to be sure.

"I – " Jack wasn't sure how to describe it. "We were in the jungle, I think. And I said something about Sawyer. I don't know who that is," he realized, hoping Kate would fill him in. She didn't so he kept talking. "Then I told you I loved you."

Kate's heart beat faster as she thought back to that day. The first time Jack had said he'd loved her. Back then she hadn't known how to react, but she wished he would say the same thing now, and understand why he said it.

"Why were we in the jungle?" Jack asked, interrupting Kate's contemplation. "Were we on an island?"

"Not just any island, Jack. We were on this Island," she answered, telling him the truth. _But will he believe it this time?_

"So that plane crash you were talking about, it really did happen?" It seemed impossible, but Kate's story was becoming more and more real. He found himself longing to hear the sound of the ocean, to smell the scent of strawberries mixed with...something that he'd never smelt before but at the same time was so familiar.

_What if she's right? _he asked himself, not for the first time. That would explain why both James and Juliet seemed to know him. And why he felt a strange sense of, not intimacy, but closeness with Juliet. They had a connection, even though they were strangers. Then there was Kate. How was it possible that he was so attracted to a woman he'd only known for less than a day? But if he'd cared for her enough to propose, why didn't he remember it now?

"When I asked you to marry me, did I do it on the island?" he asked, unable to stop a small amount of skepticism from filling his voice.

"No. After we were rescued, we lived together for a while. You proposed to me then," Kate responded, leaving out the part about Aaron.

But Jack noticed her hesitation. "For a while? So we weren't...in a relationship, when we got on that plane?" He was uncomfortable referring to them as a couple, even though deep down he thought it seemed completely normal. It was too weird to think about living with a complete stranger.

Kate didn't answer. It wasn't something she wanted to think about. And before Jack asked again, he noticed her struggling to keep her eyes open. As much as he wanted answers, he was a doctor first and foremost. And he could see that Kate needed sleep, badly. "When was the last time you slept?" he asked, the question startling her. "And not just for a few hours. How long has it been since you've had a good night's sleep?"

"A while," she admitted reluctantly. Between losing Aaron and Jack's memory loss – even before that, when the nightmares of Claire started – Kate hadn't had a decent amount of rest for too long. She'd never been one to sleep for extended periods of time, but Jack's presence used to be enough to chase her fears away and help her relax. Except now he was part of the reason she lay awake every night. Even when she'd spent the night in his apartment before the flight, having him lying beside her hadn't helped to heal her broken heart. Broken because she'd lost Aaron.

Last night she'd tossed and turned, worrying about Jack, of course, but also thinking of her son. She wondered if he was happy, if he felt like he belonged now that he was with his real family. Did he miss her like she missed him? Did he ask about her? She could hear his small voice now. _When is Mommy coming back?_ he'd ask, just the same way he'd asked about Jack.

"Kate." She blinked, realizing he'd been talking to her.

"Sorry, what?" She noticed tears in her eyes and she yawned, hoping to cover her despair.

"You're dead on your feet. Go take a nap," he suggested rather forcefully, reminding her of the leader he'd once been on the Island.

She didn't even try to fight him, just slowly made her way to the guest room.

* * * * *

Jack watched Kate walk down the hall, waiting until he heard a door close behind her. Then he sat back down on the couch, rubbing his head. The headache he'd woken up with had increased dramatically after talking with Kate. He still wasn't sure whether to believe her or not, but he wasn't seeing any other options.

And after she showed him that engagement ring, he was becoming more convinced. He had no memory of buying it, but he could almost picture himself giving it to her.

_Do you really think I' m good at this? _There it was again, that mysterious phrase that kept repeating in his head. He wasn't sure where it was from, but he was starting to think it had something to do with his proposal.

"Oh," he said aloud, remembering something else. He'd dropped the ring a few moments ago. Kate had been searching for it, but did she ever find it?

Jack stood up and bent down, scanning the floor. He thought he saw a tiny sparkle underneath the couch. Reaching for it, he was surprised when his hand connected with something else. Something that felt smooth and cool against his fingers. Definitely not a ring, because the ring was lying next to the object. He quickly snatched it and put in his pocket.

Then he felt around for the mysterious item. When he found it once more, it felt strange, nearly flat and longer than anything he could think of. He pulled it out, curious. It was a picture, one that had been laminated, which was why it was so smooth. But when he looked closer, what he saw nearly made his heart stop.

The photo was of him. He was standing in the sand, a large body of water behind him – which he assumed was the ocean. There was a little boy riding on his shoulders, holding a dripping ice cream cone, and they both had big smiles on their faces.

_Who is the boy? _Jack wondered. _And why does Kate have this picture? _He was sure she'd had it, why else would it be here? She must have dropped it when she hit her head on the couch.

Suddenly the sounds of the ocean filled his ears. He heard people laughing and shouting in the background, but that wasn't what held his attention. Though he couldn't see anything but the wall in front of him, he could hear Kate's voice as clearly as if she was standing right beside him.

He turned to look, but she wasn't there.

"Jack," she called. "Stand still. And Aaron, sweetie, be careful with your ice cream. It's going to drip right on Jack's head."

Then Jack heard someone chuckling and it took him a moment to realize that it was himself. But he wasn't laughing. At least, not right now. "Come on, buddy. Mommy wants to take a picture. Then we can go for a swim," he was saying. _What the hell? _Jack thought. _I'm not saying anything._

The sound of more laughter distracted him and he wondered where it was coming from.

"But I don't wanna swim, Jack. I wanna catch fish like you did on the island," a little boy's voice said. Jack knew it was the boy in the picture.

"I didn't catch any fish," he replied. "That was mostly Sun and Jin. Oh, and Charlie did once or twice too." His voice turned sad for a moment. _Who's Charlie_? Jack wondered.

"Jack..." Kate warned him sternly. "Do you think it's a good idea to be telling stories about the Island?"

_The Island? As in this island?_

"Don't worry, Kate. It's not anything important. And he probably won't remember anyway." Jack was silent for a moment. "Besides," he continued. "I don't want to forget. I want to remember everything we went through, even the smallest details."

"I know," Kate replied.

Then Jack heard the clicking sound of a camera and after that, the noises faded. _What was that? _His mind was spinning in confusion and he worried that he was going crazy. _Hearing voices..._ he thought to himself. _Never a good sign._ Then he caught sight of the picture in his hand and he understood what had just happened.

It was another memory. Except he didn't see anything this time. He could only hear. But it was enough.

_Okay, so Kate and I were looking after the boy. Aaron. _The name jolted something in his memory, but he didn't know why. _So the question is: How long did we look after him? Was he living with us? _That didn't make sense, but Jack felt the rightness of Aaron living in the same house with him and Kate.

"Oh shit," he said aloud as another possibility occurred to him. "Is Aaron my son?"

That was too much for him. He had to get out of here, this was all so crazy. But where would he go? As much as he didn't want to believe it, he was a stranger in a strange land. Here in this mysterious place with no prior knowledge other than the memories he was supposed to have, but didn't. Even if he could manage to escape, he had no idea where else to go. Maybe there was some way he could get back home, but it seemed unlikely at the moment.

He found himself craving another kind of freedom, one that was easily available to him. He felt around in his pocket and was comforted when he felt the familiar smoothness of the bottle.

"No," he exclaimed aloud, startling himself. He paused for a moment, hoping he hadn't woken Kate up. When she didn't come running out of her room, he sighed in relief and began pacing back and forth. "I am not going to become dependent on pills," he muttered to himself. "They are not going to be what gets me through the day."

Jack repeated this to himself a few more times, but he had a hard time believing it. For some reason, it already seemed too late for him. Like he'd fallen in too deep. _I've never taken Oxycodone in my life_, he assured himself. But if he had, would he even remember?

Without really being aware of what his actions, he made his way to the kitchen. "What am I doing?" he asked himself, feeling foolish. What had he been hoping to accomplish in here? Pulling out a chair and sitting down heavily, he put his head in his hands. The picture was placed on the table in front of him, he must have set it down without realizing it. And it was all he could think about.

_I might have a son, and I don't even remember! What kind of father am I? _Suddenly someone else's words flashed through his mind. _You're not supposed to raise him. _Who had said that? Then he remembered. Claire. Those were her dying words.

"She's not really dead," Jack reminded himself. "It was just a dream." But thinking about his dream reminded him of something else. Aaron had been part of it. He'd heard Aaron crying and then Sarah was there, keeping Aaron from him. What had she told him? That he wasn't fit to raise Aaron.

Then they were talking about Kate, he couldn't remember why, and she'd said...something...

"She's not going to help you. After everything you've done, I don't blame her," he said, repeating Sarah's words. _What did I do? Does it have something to do with Aaron? _Kate had told him they'd been living together for a while after the island. But they weren't together when they got on the plane that sent them back here.

"So did I leave Kate, or did she leave me?" he wondered. Either way, Aaron would have been affected. "Did I abandon my own son?" Maybe that's what Kate was holding against him. Why she would seem so loving one moment, then so cold the next. "And she deserves to hate me," he realized with a tinge of sadness. "If I really walked away from her and my own son, hell, I would hate me too."

He groaned and shut his eyes. But the image in the photograph filled his mind so he opened them again, wanting to distance himself from that memory. As he stared blankly ahead, looking out the window in front of him, he noticed a bottle of wine sitting on the counter.

Juliet and James had probably forgot to pack it with them for their picnic. "I don't think they'll mind if I have a glass," Jack mumbled, nearly desperate for something to take his mind off things. He knew it was wrong, but he couldn't help it.

"Why the hell would I ever want to come back here?" he asked. It seemed like everything he'd ever wanted was back in L.A. And even though he didn't remember it, he began to long for the days he, Kate and Aaron might have spent as a family. He wished like hell that he _could _remember. But maybe that was his punishment for coming here.

"Oh god," he moaned, not liking this train of thought.

Then he stood up and grabbed the bottle from the counter, pouring some liquid into a glass and taking a big gulp.

* * *

When James walked in the door later that afternoon, he was surprised at how quiet the house was. "Aw, hell, Jules. Maybe we shouldn't 'a stayed out so late," he commented, worried about what trouble Freckles and the Doctor might have gotten into.

"James, it's not even dinner time yet. How much damage could the two of them do?" Juliet asked, standing beside him.

They were both surprised to see the couch was empty. A spilt bowl of soup lay on the floor and Juliet's heart beat faster. What had happened? "A lot o' damage," he replied, having firsthand knowledge of the problems they could cause. Whenever Jack was around, there always seemed to be some dilemma that he was sure to get involved in. And Kate would always be right behind him.

_But maybe things have changed, _James thought when Juliet pointed to the kitchen. A body was slumped against the table and for a moment his heart beat faster, having seen his share of dead bodies. But James relaxed when Jack started to snore loudly.

"Gee, the Doc is loud even when he sleeps." Then he entered the kitchen and swore. Jack was sitting in a chair, his head lying on the table and a nearly empty bottle of wine beside him. "Damn Spinal Surgeon drank our wine," he exclaimed, causing Jack to stir.

"Shhh," Juliet cautioned, stepping into the kitchen as well. "We should go check on Kate," she suggested.

"Well what about El Docko here? We can't just leave him."

"Maybe Kate would know how to handle him..." Juliet trailed off, realizing how bad her idea sounded already. _Just shove the responsibility of Jack onto Kate. Way to give her a fresh start, Juliet_, she scolded herself.

James rejected that plan immediately. "She don't need to see him like this anymore," he said and Juliet wondered just how much Kate had told him. _Shit, _James thought. _Kate told me 'bout Saint Jack havin' drinkin' issues. Why didn't I take that bottle o' wine outta here? _This was his mistake, and he was damn well going to fix it. "Let's put him in our room for now. When Kate wakes up we'll just tell her he's sleepin'."

Juliet raised an eyebrow, silently questioning his motives. "And where are we going to sleep tonight?"

_Touché_, he said to himself. _Why does Blondie have ta' be so damn critical? _"We'll wake him up by then. Or just move him back ta' the couch." James knew he was sounding like an idiot, going out of his way to prevent causing Kate any more pain. But after everything she'd told him, what else was he supposed to do? And he couldn't tell Juliet, because that would be violating Kate's trust in him.

"Look, I can't go inta details here, ya' wouldn't either if she'd toldja..." he began and Juliet's expression immediately hardened. _She's still jealous_, he realized. _'N a jealous woman ain't ever been a good thing_. "Darlin', me 'n Kate're a thing o' the past. I promise," he tried to tell her, but she still looked at him skeptically. "Look, I already toldja I love ya', what more do ya' want?"

"I want you to stop keeping score," she answered. "I want you to be with me because you want to. Not because you're trying to prove something to yourself. I want you say you love me and really mean it."

James was startled, he didn't realize she'd thought he was still in love with Kate. At first it might have been like that, him choosing Juliet to help take his mind off Kate. But things were definitely different now. Of course, telling her that would only make things worse. "I am with ya' 'cause I wanna be," he told her, honesty filling his voice. "I really do love ya', Shortcake, ya' gotta trust me on that."

She didn't answer, but she also didn't push him away when he hugged her.

"Will ya' please help me move Jack? All I can say is that Kate's had ta' deal with him like this for the past three months. Can't we give her a break?" He saw Juliet's face soften and knew he'd managed to change her mind. _Thank god_.

They struggled to carry Jack, James holding his upper body and Juliet carrying his legs, through the house. Finally they reached the bedroom and, thankfully, the door was open. James noticed the guest bedroom's door was shut and he hoped Kate was getting some sleep in there. She'd seemed so tired this morning.

_I wonder how her plan went_, he thought, thinking of her idea to show Jack the engagement ring. _Obviously not well_, he commented to himself dryly, looking down at the unconscious doctor he was carrying.

They placed him on the bed, James being a little rougher than he should have, and Jack nearly flipped off. James chuckled slightly as Jack continued to snore, oblivious. "Nighty night, Docko. You're gonna have one hell o' a headache in the mornin'." He leaned closer so Juliet wouldn't hear what he said next. " N if ya' ever drink my wine again, I'm gonna teach ya' a lesson, Jackass. Kate don't need ta' deal with yer problems, she's got enough o' her own." James knew Jack probably couldn't hear him, but he needed to get it off his chest.

"James," Juliet whispered, motioning out of the room.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm comin', Sweetheart. Sleep tight, ya' jerk." Then he shut the door behind him.

Juliet looked at him sternly, not approving of his choice of words. "Give him a break, James. Jack's got a lot to deal with too."

"Yeah, well that's only 'cause he left Kate," James retorted, shutting his mouth before he could say anything else.

Juliet glanced at him with interest, but before she could ask him about that, the guest room door opened. Kate stepped out, rubbing her eyes.

"What's going on?" she asked slowly, voice still quiet from sleep.

"Did we wake ya'?" James apologized, feeling guilty. Kate still looked exhausted.

She shook her head, her long hair swinging behind her as she did so. James knew she was lying, she'd always tried to protect him, thinking he was so fragile. _I ain't a damn butterfly, _he'd always thought, annoyed by how sensitive she was around him.

That was one thing he loved about Juliet. She told the truth, no matter how hard that truth was and no matter how it made him feel.

"You should go back to bed, Kate," Juliet said. Both James and Kate glanced at her in surprise. "What?" she asked. "I used to be a doctor. Trust me, I know how bad sleep deprivation can be."

James smiled, glad that she was taking his advice and making an effort to be nicer to Kate. Of course, Kate herself was immediately suspicious, but she didn't say anything. She just smiled at Juliet. "Yeah, I think I will. Thanks."

Kate headed back to her bedroom, about to close the door when she thought of something. "Is Jack still on the couch? He told me to sleep for a while, but I worried that he might try and escape."

James chuckled bitterly, not enjoying the irony. "Don'tcha worry, Kate. He was sleepin' when we got back, so I told him he could use our bed for a while." Thought it wasn't technically a lie, he still felt bad about not telling the whole truth.

But the relief on Kate's face was worth it. "Thanks, Sawyer. I appreciate you looking out for him," she said as she tried to stifle a yawn.

"Get some sleep, Freckles," he said tenderly and Juliet pretended not to hear the affection in his voice. _He cares about her, that doesn't mean he's in love with her_, she told herself, trying to believe it.

"I'm going to go start dinner, it should be in a few hours," she said, already making her way to the kitchen. She knew she just needed to give James some time to get adjusted to Kate's presence once more. Of course things couldn't go back to normal right away. It would take a while.

That didn't mean she was happy about it, but James' next words lightened her heart. "How 'bout we dine at the cafeteria tonight, Blondie?" he suggested once Kate had gone back to bed. Juliet was impressed that he still remembered her suggestion from earlier.

"Sounds good," she agreed happily, sitting down on the couch and pulling him down beside her. Before James could reach for a book from the shelf beside him, she pressed her lips against his, thankful for the quiet moments they could still spend together.

* * *

Up next: Some male bonding time and Jack embarks on an adventure!


	8. In Love

Thank you so much to everyone for the reviews. I'm sorry but this chapter turned out to mostly be random Suliet fluff. But I promise the next chapter will answer some questions and contain some Jack and Sawyer time!

The song is _What Love Looks Like _by Carolyn Arends.

* * *

**Chapter 8: In Love**

_Oh, this is what love looks like.  
Oh, this is what love looks like.  
I never dreamed I would see such a sight.  
This is what love looks like._

Juliet cursed in frustration and threw another shirt on the floor. She was changing in the bathroom, since Jack was still sleeping in the bedroom she shared with James. It had been a challenge to grab nearly all the clothes she owned and still make it out of the room quietly, but Jack had managed to sleep through it all, snoring lightly.

She'd never heard him snore on the Island before, probably because they had never slept in the same tent. Not that she hadn't thought about it at some point, although she certainly wasn't even considering it now. The sight of him sprawled on the bed reminded her of the night she'd operated on him, though. He had that same dead-to-the-world look.

"Gah!" she exclaimed, frowning at her reflection in the mirror. The white blouse didn't fit her very well and was so unattractive she began to wonder why she'd kept it in the first place.

_Right, Amy gave it to me..._ she thought, recalling how she'd worn it a few times so the other woman wouldn't feel bad. _But no one seems to have decent tastes in clothes here._

She stepped around the piles of outfits that covered the floor and reached for another shirt. Oh how she missed the clothing from her own time period. All of these fashions were too bright and happy, a total contrast to the subtle colours she usually wore.

Finally she chose a pale yellow tee that was low cut, but not scandalously so. Juliet didn't know why she was making such a big deal about this dinner, she ate with James every night – as long as he wasn't busy with work. But now she felt as though she had to try harder, that their relationship wouldn't be so effortless anymore.

_Meaning I have to dress up tonight_, she thought to herself. Especially if Kate was joining them for dinner. The brunette always managed to look stunningly beautiful and it was completely effortless to her. _And besides, I should be able allowed to look nice, right?_

A knock on the door startled her and she jumped, nearly slipping on the tiled floor.

"Jules, are ya just 'bout done in there? I've been waitin' for an hour out here," James complained loudly. She slammed open the door and raised her finger to her lips, shushing him. "Hate ta' break it ta' ya, missy, but ya ain't bein' so quiet yourself," he pointed out, much to Juliet's annoyance.

Then he looked past her and his mouth dropped open at the mess on the floor. "What the hell happened in here? Did a closet explode or are ya just hidin' a secret store in the cupboard?" he whispered over-dramatically.

"I was trying to get dressed without waking up Jack," she explained, smacking him lightly on the arm. "I figured you're probably tired of seeing me in my jumpsuit all day. I know I'm tired of wearing it."

"Ya were already wearin' regular clothes today, Shortcake. Why'd ya gotta go 'n change now?"

Juliet sighed. _Men. They just don't understand. _"Just give me a few more minutes to clean up, then we can go, okay?" she said, pushing James back out of the bathroom. She laughed at his stunned expression as she closed the door in his face.

"Just some final touches," Juliet muttered to herself as she carefully applied a small amount of makeup. There wasn't much variety available in Dharmaville and she had to use it sparingly because cosmetics took a long time to arrive from the mainland. Usually she only wore some mascara and eyeliner on special occasions.

_I'd say tonight's a special occasion_, she told herself, though she was feeling somewhat foolish. But it was too late to change again now...

When Juliet finally stepped out of the bathroom, first ducking into the bedroom to throw her clothes back in the closet, she found James sitting in his chair, reading a book.

He stood up quickly when he caught sight of her, throwing the novel down in his eagerness to get going. "I'm starvin', woman. Are ya ready ta' go now..." he trailed off when he saw what she was wearing. "God damn, what's the occasion?" James was almost tempted to whistle, but he wasn't sure if she would like that.

"Nothing. Do I need a reason to look nice?" Juliet asked, rather flirtatiously, he thought.

_What is goin' on with her? _James wondered. _Did I miss somethin'?_

"Nope, it's just strange. But...good strange, if ya know what I mean..." _Aw hell, shut up_, he told himself, knowing he sounded like a fool.

Juliet chuckled, enjoying his reaction. This was just what she'd been hoping for. "Well, I guess we should go see if Kate's awake," she suggested, hating to distract James but realizing how hungry she was herself.

"Ya know what," he began. "I don't wanna wake up Sleepin' Beauty in there, so whaddya say just the two o' us go out ta' dinner? I'm sure Kate 'n good ol' Jacko wouldn't mind, seein' as both o' them're far away in dream land."

As much as Juliet wanted to say yes, she knew it would be rude to Kate, which would do nothing to help their friendship grow. That was what James had said he wanted and well, she would do just about anything for him.

"Maybe we should see if Kate's awake before we go," Juliet said softly, regretting her words immediately when James looked at her in shock and, for a brief moment, disappointment.

_He wasn't being polite_, she realized. _He actually wanted to have dinner with just the two of us. _She wanted to tell him to forget she'd said anything, but they had spent lunch together. It was only fair that Kate got to have some company for dinner, because Juliet was certain Jack wouldn't be much fun at the moment.

"Yeah, I'll go 'n check on her, if that's whatcha want, Blondie." He sounded hesitant, as if still waiting for her to say no. But Juliet kept her mouth shut and he slowly walked away.

James opened the door to the guest room quietly, peering in to see Kate snuggled under the covers. He smiled softly, but was startled to realize something. He no longer wished he was lying next to her.

Instead, he found himself longing for the warmth of Juliet's body pressed against his. Even though she was just down the hall, he missed her smile and the scent that was distinctly hers.

_Ya'__ know you're in love when..._ he thought to himself, knowing he'd never felt this strongly about Kate before. _Well good, 'cause ya' ain't gettin' her_.

He closed the door softly, anxious to get back to Juliet. As it clicked shut, he didn't notice Kate stirring slightly in her sleep. Instead he wrapped his arms around Juliet, pulling her into a hug. He felt her surprise at his sudden expression of intimacy, but she didn't protest.

Juliet melted into James' embrace, enjoying how tightly he held her. "Shall we go?" she asked when he released her. She was trying not to gasp for air, but the truth was he'd taken her breath away. Just like he always did.

"Alrighty, Sweetheart. Let's get outta here." James held her hand as they walked out the door, leaving the silenceof the house behind them.

* * *

James and Juliet walked into the cafeteria side by side. Despite the many people crowded in the small room, Juliet barely heard any of the noise. Sitting next to James always made her feel like they were the only two people in the room.

That was one of the things she loved about him. _Love, huh? _She seemed to be thinking about love a lot these days. _Maybe it's a sign that it's finally time to settle down_, Julie thought and her mind turned to pictures of her and James starting a family. She had to admit, it was a nice image.

She'd always harbored a deep fear of having children, after seeing what so many pregnant woman went through – especially on the Island. But maybe with James by her side things wouldn't be so bad...

"Jules, hello? Practicin' some new form o' meditation are ya'?" James waved his hand in front of her face, trying to catch her attention.

"Oh, sorry. I was thinking," she explained, blinking as she came back to reality.

"'Bout what?" James was surprised when Juliet blushed and looked down. He didn't want to push the issue, he'd learned over the past three years that sometimes Juliet just needed to be left alone. But he was curious, what wasn't she telling him?

"Aw hell. When women start keepin' secrets, ya' know the relationship is goin' down the drain..." he muttered to himself. Juliet chuckled under her breath and James knew she'd heard him.

"I'm not keeping secrets, James. I was just wondering what it would be like to start a family."

James did a double take. _What? Why is everybody talkin' 'bout families these days? _he asked himself, thinking of Kate and Aaron.

But before Juliet could elaborate, Hurley slid onto the bench beside her, handing them their trays of food. "Sorry, nothing special tonight. Just spaghetti," he commented, making himself comfortable. James usually didn't mind Hugo's company, he'd actually grown to like the big man with the constant smile, but today he wished that Hurley would just go away.

Of course, Hugo didn't pick up on James' mood, so he launched into some ridiculous tale involving one of the chefs and a chicken that wasn't quite dead. "Hey Sawyer – " he began after he finished his story. But James cut him off.

"Hugo! You can't be callin' me Sawyer here. It's Jim or LaFleur."

Hurley considered this for a moment as Juliet and James began eating. James was surprised at how the simple meal reminded him of home. Not so much 'home' itself – that was something he would never miss – but his home time.

"Damn, this is good," he commented, making Hurley smile.

"Thanks dude. It's got like, secret spices and stuff in it. You know, future ingredients. Don't tell, 'kay?" James and Juliet laughed, enjoying how well Hurley was handling the time travel news. "But...why LaFleur? What's it mean, dude?" he asked, returning to their previous conversation.

"It's Creole. I needed ta' come up with somethin' on the spot. 'N I thought it was pretty clever," James replied, defending himself.

"Dude, doesn't it mean like, flower or something in French?" Hurley asked.

"I thought you spoke Spanish, Hugo. Not French. Besides what's Reyes mean?"

"Hey, not cool, man. I didn't get to choose _my _name."

"Oh yeah? So what's Hurley mean then?" James retorted.

Juliet continued eating, listening to the comfortable banter with a detached interest. Her mind was elsewhere, drifting back to a small yellow house filled with children and laughter...

* * *

Kate woke up a few moments after hearing her door click shut. It took her a minute or two for the sound to actually register in her brain, and when it did she sat up quickly. The utter silence and underlying tension in the air was reminding her all too much of a familiar dream.

Hearing another door open, she couldn't resist thinking to herself, _And here comes Claire..._

But no one appeared in her room. And after a while her eyelids began to grow heavy as Kate found herself sinking back into the fog of sleep. Just as she was about to drift off again, however, she heard a strange creak and her eyes snapped open.

_Oh god, what was that? _she thought to herself, fully awake now. Kate lay still, listening for any more noises. Being in a strange house made everything sound different and menacing. _Will I ever be able to have a peaceful sleep again_?

Almost unconsciously she walked out of the room, following the faint snores coming from behind the next door.

Seeing Jack sleeping on the bed, limbs flung in all directions, filled her with a sudden sense of peace. Without thinking about it, Kate lay down next to him, curling up in a ball at his side. He draped an arm around her and pulled her closer.

Kate hadn't realized she'd been cold, but Jack's body heat was warming her up a considerable amount.

"Ah," she sighed contentedly as she fell back asleep, her head sinking lower onto the pillow. Her breathing gradually evened out and for the first time in a while she had a deep and dreamless sleep.

* * *

James and Juliet came home to a quiet house, which wasn't surprising since Kate and Jack were probably still sleeping.

"Looks like we'll have ta' move El Docko ta' the couch, Sweetheart," James whispered amongst the silence. When he opened the bedroom door however, he was stunned to see Kate snuggled up next to Jack. They looked so comfy together that he was reluctant to disturb them.

After a moment of staring, James felt a strong feeling stirring inside him. But it wasn't jealousy, as he was expecting. It took him a moment to realize that he actually felt _pleased_ to see the two of them together. He had to admit that right now they seemed perfect for each other.

_Like two pieces o' a puzzle_, he thought to himself. Then he winced at how sappy that sounded.

Kate shifted slightly in her sleep and James was amazed at how Jack responded instantly to her movements.

_Aw, don't start goin' soft now, James._ He quietly shut the door and turned to face Juliet's questioning gaze.

"Looks like we'll be the guests tonight," he explained as he pointed at the spare bedroom. Juliet smirked and held open the door invitingly. "'Least we'll be comfy," he conceded, stripping down to his boxers.

His heart beat faster as Juliet stepped out of her jeans and slid her bright yellow shirt over her head.

"I donno why ya' spent so long tryin' ta' look good tonight, I like ya' better with yer clothes off anyway."

"Very nice, James," she replied as she laughed and lay down beside him.

"Hey, we both know it's true."

* * *

Kate awoke to find herself sleeping curled up next to Jack. And for a moment it was as if the past four months never happened.

Then she smelled the alcohol on his breath and she shrank away from him. He grunted and rolled over, reaching out for her. Kate leapt off the bed, trying to put as much distance between herself Jack as possible.

A strong wave of nausea engulfed her and she staggered backwards. Kate held onto the wall as the world spun around her. There was a roaring in her ears and for a moment she thought she might pass out. But then it faded and all that was left was the sound of Jack's heavy breathing.

_I must have stood up too fast_, she reasoned, then Jack grunted, distracting her.

She turned to glare at him, disgusted that he'd resorted to getting drunk to solve his problems, again. And she wasn't sure she could stop herself from slapping him if he got too close. "Oh god, Jack. Why do you keep doing this to yourself?" Her voice cracked and suddenly Kate was overwhelmed by a feeling of claustrophobia. She had to get out of there.

By the time she reached the front room she noticed how badly she was shaking. Jack's closeness had been keeping her warm and now that he was gone, Kate felt a chill that went straight to her bones. Shivering, she reached for a blanket that was lying on the couch. _It must have been the one Jack was using yesterday_, she thought. Wrapping it around herself, she breathed his familiar smell and sighed.

"I really need some coffee." Her voice was loud in the silent house and it made Kate jump. She made her way into the kitchen, scanning the counters for anything that looked like a coffee maker. When her search came up empty, Kate was oddly disappointed. "I shouldn't miss coffee that much. It's only been a day." Resigned, she stared out the window blankly. The sun was just starting to rise, casting all the houses in a bright gold hue.

Still feeling a small bit confined, Kate stepped outside, breathing deeply in the fresh air. The sky was filled with vibrant colours and it gave her a sense of peace. She began to walk through the Dharma compound, not having a specific destination but enjoying the careless wandering all the same.

When she stopped in front of the cafeteria building, Kate realized her subconscious had been leading her in this direction the entire time. _I wonder if it's even open yet?_

She tried to pry open the door but it was locked. _Of course_, she thought, feeling defeated. Suddenly it was as if her strength had been zapped away, leaving behind nothing but exhaustion.

Kate slumped down onto a nearby picnic table and rested her head on her arms. She closed her eyes for a moment and when she opened them again the sunrise had dulled slightly. The dazzling oranges and yellows had been replaced by softer pinks and blues.

Then she felt someone's gaze fall upon her and knew she was being watched. Whipping her head around, Kate was surprised and relieved to see it was Hurley. "Hey," he called, walking towards her. Kate raised her hand in greeting and motioned for him to come sit beside her.

"Hi Hurley. What're you doing up this early?" she questioned.

"Today's my day to open the cafeteria. And I've gotta get started on breakfast." He stood up, yawing and stretching. Kate continued to sit there, feeling incredibly lonely. Hurley noticed.

"You can come if you want."

Inside the bright yellow building the temperature was cool after the previous night. The heat that was already increasing outside had yet to find its way in. Kate trembled and wrapped the blankets tighter around herself.

"Are you actually cold, Kate? This is way nicer than outside," Hurley said, worrying about her.

"I'm fine. I just wish I had some coffee to warm me up," Kate sighed.

"Dude, if you wanted coffee all you had to do was ask." He disappeared behind the counter, going through another door into the kitchen. "What do you want in it?" he called out over his shoulder.

"Milk and two sugars, please." Kate remembered the last time someone had asked her that question. Jack, when she spent the night at his house. Her head throbbed for a moment and Kate sat down heavily, waiting for the pain to go away.

After a few minutes Hurley returned, holding a white mug filled with coffee. "Thanks," Kate said as she took it gratefully, staring at the Dharma logo on the front before taking a sip. "Wow," she exclaimed in surprise. "This is good."

Hurley grinned broadly. "Yeah. They have some really tasty coffee grinds here and I just added some cinnamon." When Kate raised an eyebrow he laughed, embarrassed. "It was something my mom taught me a long time ago. Hey Kate," he continued as she placed her fingers to her temples, wincing in pain. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Don't worry about me. I guess it's just the time travel or something."

"But I didn't have any headaches..." Hurley protested, baffled.

"So how are you settling in, Hurley?" Kate asked, quickly changing the subject. Hurley sighed but didn't push the issue. Kate was like Jack in that way, she hated talking about herself.

"It's good. My roommate is pretty awesome, I guess. His name's George. And yesterday he walked in holding this like, inflatable ball thing and..."

Kate leaned back in her chair and smiled smugly, pleased that she'd managed to distract Hurley. She laughed as he told stories about playing volleyball on the beach and working in the cafeteria.

Finally he noticed how much time had passed and he jumped up. "Crap. I have to work now. You should go home, Kate. Get some more sleep or something." Kate brushed him off, thanking Hurley again for the coffee and walking towards the door.

"Hey Kate. Have you seen anyone else from the plane?" he asked before she left.

"No, not yet. But I'll keep an eye out for them." She assured him, then she was gone.

Back to wandering again, Kate drank her coffee as she got her first good look at Dharmaville. Of course she'd been here before, but that was when the buildings had been abandoned by the Others. Everything looked much different now, this place was filled with so much liveliness.

Though most people were still sleeping, there were reminders of their presence everywhere. Bicycles and children's toys lay all over the place, swing sets and hammocks were placed in backyards or strung up between trees.

She sat down on a bright purple swing, lost in thought. Now that she'd gotten her coffee fix, her mind turned back to the sight of Jack passed out on the bed. Kate was sad that he'd resorted to drinking again and she wasn't sure how to make him stop.

_I can't let Jack fall back into depression_. She knew she would never live with herself if she stood by and let that happen. Kate wouldn't abandon Jack this time, she'd stopped running away the day she became a mother.

And even though she was no longer looking after Aaron, now she had Jack to take care of. _I can do this_, she told herself. _I have to help Jack get his memories back_.

More determined than ever, Kate headed back to Sawyer and Juliet's house, hoping Jack was awake.

* * *

Can anyone see the foreshadowing in this chapter? Hint. Hint. ;)


	9. Fever

Thanks for the reviews. For those of you who've guessed what the big surprise is in this chapter, good job. It seems my "subtle" foreshadowing wasn't as subtle as I thought... ;)

This chapter is mostly to answer a few questions, but I hope to have another (more exciting chapter) written some time this week. Thanks to **K. Palafox **for the ideas.

The song is called _Sleep _by Meiko. It was played on the TV show _Moonlight_, if anyone was wondering. :)

* * *

**Chapter 9: Fever**

_When I woke up this morning,  
You were so far away from me.  
And I knew it was a warning  
Of an empty space in between._

_Now what am I supposed to do  
When the answers all come out wrong?_

_And I need something to help me sleep,  
When I know that you're no good for me.  
And I need something I can keep  
From the empty space in between._

When Kate walked in the door, she saw Sawyer standing in the kitchen. He turned to look at her in surprise, taking in her appearance. From the blanket wrapped around her to the clothes Juliet had leant her yesterday before meeting Amy, Kate was sure she looked ridiculous.

"Hey Freckles. Whad're ya doin' up already? I thought ya were still asleep." Sawyer's southern drawl usually soothed her, but today it grated on Kate's ears. She wasn't sure why she was having these sudden mood swings, but it wasn't her main concern at the moment.

"Where'd ya get the cof – " he began until he noticed Kate's furious expression. "What? Is it that time o' month or somethin'?" Kate frowned, her anger growing. How could he not understand? Oblivious to her thoughts, Sawyer continued his taunting, trying to get a response.

"Didja have a nice night, darlin'? You 'n the Handsome Doctor looked mighty comfy in my room."

That was too much for Kate. She snapped. "How can you say that?" she shouted, trying to keep her voice from breaking. "This is all your fault!"

Sawyer was tempted to back away, but he'd dealt with his fair share of angry women and he knew that he had to stand his ground. "Woah, I ain't sayin' it's a bad thing. Calm down darlin'," he defended. Kate crossed her arms and glared. Sawyer could feel the heat of her gaze across the kitchen. "What did I do? If ya ain't even gonna tell me than I can't do much 'bout it, can I?"

"Why would you leave wine at the house with Jack? After everything I told you, did it not even _occur _to you that he would drink it?"

Sawyer blinked. _Oh. Shit._ Of course this was about Jack. It was always something with these two. "Hey, I thought ya would do a better job o' keepin' an eye on him," he countered. "If I'da known ya were gonna fall asleep, then I'da never left ya alone with him." He immediately knew it was the wrong thing to say when Kate burst into tears. "God damn, woman. Why are ya being so hormonal all o' a sudden?"

She didn't answer, too busy sobbing into her coffee cup. Her abrupt change of mood was unnerving even to her, but there was nothing she could do to stop the tears.

"Aw hell. Kate, ya know I didn't mean that. Come on, how 'bout we sit down," he suggested, abandoning his feeble attempts to make breakfast. The frying pan lay untouched on the counter since he'd found the stove too complicated and had decided to have cereal instead.

He steered Kate towards the couch, taking the coffee mug from her as he did so, muttering, "Wouldn't want ya' ta' drop that."

She sat down and leaned on his shoulder, sniffling softly. "I'm s – sorry, James. I... you're right. It's m – my fault that Jack's acting like this again. I shouldn't have pu – pushed him so much. If it wasn't for me he – he wouldn't have – "

Sawyer sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Ohhh boy, Freckles. It ain't yer fault. I shouldn't o' left ya' alone with him. That was a bad decision on my part. Hell, 'n I'm supposed ta' be the head o' security. Nobody forced the Doc ta' take a drink o' that wine. That was his decision. So don't go beatin' yourself up 'bout it, 'kay?"

She wiped her eyes and pushed herself away from him. "Sorry, I don't know why I said that. I guess I'm just feeling a bit off today."

"It's okay, Kate. Ya' been through a lot. Maybe ya' just need more sleep," Sawyer advised but she shook her head.

"I've managed without a lot of sleep since the first plane crash. I shouldn't be feeling so tired now." She didn't understand why she couldn't seem to shake this feeling of exhaustion. Ever since she'd boarded Ajira Airways Flight 316 she'd felt so drained.

"Maybe I'm getting – " she began before another wave of nausea passed over her, stronger than before.

Kate dashed to the bathroom, leaving a befuddled Sawyer behind. As she bent over the toilet she saw a flower print shirt lying on the floor. _Where'd that come from?_ she wondered before the feeling of sickness engulfed her and she leaned further over the seat.

* * *

Juliet awoke to the sound of someone throwing up in the next room. _Is that James_? She was about to go investigate, then she looked down and thought better of it. First she put her shirt and pants back on, in case anyone else was up.

When she pushed open the bathroom door and saw Kate jump in surprise, Juliet was infinitely glad she'd decided to put clothes on first.

"Are you okay Kate?" she asked, switching into doctor mode. The younger woman rested her head on the toilet seat, looking wearier than Juliet had ever seen her. There were dark circles under her eyes and her skin was so pale that it seemed she would fall apart at any second.

"Yeah, I'm just not feeling so good this morning. Must be travel sickness or something," she supplied weakly. "Don't worry though, I think it's getting better."

"Have you been feeling any dizziness or loss of breath?" Juliet asked clinically.

Kate pondered the question for a moment, her eyes drifting shut briefly. She struggled to stay focused. _Why am I so damn tired?_

"Kate," the blonde woman repeated, coaxing her to stay coherent. "I need to know. This is important, okay?"

"'Kay. Well, I think I was feeling dizzy this morning, but I probably got out of bed too fast. It's not a big deal." Kate's voice sounded tinny in her ears and she hoped it didn't mean she was about to faint.

"Let's get you back to bed," Juliet ordered, helping Kate stand up. They slowly made their way back into the guest room when Juliet remembered that James' clothes were strewn all over the floor.

_Not a way to make a good impression_, she thought grimly. _The only other option is our bedroom._

But when Kate realized where they were headed she protested feebly. "No, I can't go back in there. Not when Jack is..." she trailed off, knowing Juliet would understand.

And she did. Juliet found herself beginning to pity this woman whom she had once disliked so much. From the vague explanations James had given her, Juliet knew Kate had been through a lot in the past three years. They all had.

"Okay. How about I get you settled on the couch then, huh?" she asked kindly. Through her daze, Kate was surprised how friendly the other woman was being. They'd never been anything close to friends, but now Juliet was acting like the overprotective older sister.

Making their way into the front room, James stood up to help when he saw the two of them enter, Kate leaning heavily on Juliet. He pulled her other arm around his shoulder and together the three of them made their way to the sofa.

After getting Kate settled, Juliet took James by the arm and dragged him out into the hall. "What's goin' on, Sexy Doctor? I thought ya' were retired?" James asked, earning a stern look from Juliet.

"She's sick, James."

"Hell no, Blondie! She seems right as rain ta' me," he replied sarcastically.

"James. This is serious," she said, making him feel like a misbehaving child staying after school for detention. _Juliet has too many god damn personalities for me ta' remember_, he thought bitterly. But he hadn't seen this side of her since they'd arrived here three years ago. _Blondie's gotten a lot more relaxed since then, but I guess it's true 'bout people changin' on the outside not the inside._ James' musing was cut short when Juliet shot him a glare.

"I think she's pregnant," Juliet whispered. James' mouth dropped open in shock and he stood there, trying to recall how to form words.

"She's – wha – preg – nah, not Freckles. It ain't possible..."

Juliet was about to explain her diagnosis when she heard someone groaning in the bedroom.

"Perfect timing," James muttered scornfully. "Guess who's up?"

* * *

Jack opened his eyes and wondered if the world had caught fire while he'd been sleeping. Everything was too bright and the light felt like pins stabbing his eyes. "Oh god," he moaned, pulling the blankets over his head. He lay there, wishing he could fall back asleep. He'd had no dreams at all, thankfully, and he longed for the peaceful oblivion once more.

Then the memories of the previous afternoon hit him like a freight train and he whipped the covers off himself, gasping for air. "I have a son." He said it aloud in hopes that it would seem more real, but he couldn't accept that it was true. There was no way he'd have forgotten about his own child.

As he sat up, Jack clutched his head in pain. He cursed loudly as everything spun dizzily around him. Getting out of the bed to splash some water on his face, he staggered and grabbed onto a nearby shelf for support. He noticed a picture frame standing on top. Inside was a grainy print of James and Juliet standing underneath a tree. James had his arms wrapped around her and she was smiling hugely.

_Since when does Juliet smile like that_? Jack thought to himself, then he shrugged away the question. Why did it matter? He'd never met her before yesterday. The poor quality of the photograph momentarily puzzled Jack though, until he finally noticed something else that wasn't right.

_Where am I? _He was certain he was still in James and Juliet's house, but the room itself was unfamiliar. _How did I get here? _Jack was tired of waking up in strange places. He smacked the wall in frustration, wincing when the sound blasted in his ears. His headache growing, he decided to worry about this room later. Right now all he wanted was a bathroom.

As he stepped into the hallway, Jack caught sight of James standing there staring at him. Juliet was beside him and her mouth was hanging open in shock. "What?" he asked, his brain moving slowly. It took Jack a moment to realize James was laughing quietly. Laughing at him.

"I didn't know ya' had so many anger issues, Doc. What did the wall do ta' you?" the blonde man commented, making Jack clench his fists angrily. "How's yer headache this mornin' Jacko? ya' drank all my good wine, ya' know," James continued, enjoying Jack's discomfort. In a way it was payback for hurting Kate. Though he wasn't in love with her anymore, he still cared about her as a friend.

Acting on instinct, Jack charged towards James, raising his fist before Juliet stopped him. His reaction even surprised himself. _Why do I hate this man so much? _he wondered.

"Jack, calm down," Juliet said soothingly, lowering his fist. "James didn't mean that, right?" she asked, turning to look at the blonde man glowering against the wall.

James shook his head at Juliet. "Hell, o' course I meant it, darlin'." Then he leaned close to Jack, whispering, "'N if ya' ever make Kate cry again, I'm gonna kick yer ass." After that he stalked away, heading towards the kitchen. "I need some god damn breakfast after this..."

Jack stood in the hallway, stunned. He'd completely forgotten about Kate. "Why was she crying?" he asked, turning to Juliet. "Is she okay?" Juliet didn't answer, she just inclined her head to the front room.

Though Jack still didn't know whether or not to believe Kate, after everything he'd remembered yesterday, he realized that he cared about her. Maybe he had known her in the past or maybe it was his subconscious playing tricks on him, but either way he felt strongly and protectively towards Kate. He would never want to hurt her.

And when he saw her lying there on the couch, his heart beat faster. He walked over to her and was startled to see how flushed her face was. Resting a hand against her forehead he frowned at how warm she felt.

Kate reacted to his touch, opening her eyes slowly as she squirmed away from his cold hand. "Jack?" she whispered, sadness filling her voice. "Why...would...you..." she struggled to finish her sentence before falling asleep. "Why did you..." her voice was stronger for a moment, then it faded and she drifted off to sleep. Jack thought he heard her mumble "Aaron," but as Kate's breathing slowed down he was sure he'd imagined it.

_I need to stop thinking about this boy who may or may not be my son, _he told himself. _Kate is sick and right now she's all that matters._

Looking up, Jack saw Juliet leaning over him, eying Kate. The blonde woman looked worried. "She wasn't like this a few minutes ago," she told him.

"Kate has a fever, it's probably been building all morning. Has she said anything about being cold or having a sore throat?" Jack was already running through the list of possible causes in his mind. The doctor in him had taken over and he'd nearly forgotten about his own headache. He was reminded, though, when his head pounded suddenly.

_Too bad, Jack_, he thought to himself. _It's your own damn fault for getting drunk yesterday, so now you've got to deal with the hangover. There are more important things to worry about right now._

He turned back to Kate, pulling down the blankets she held clasped around her chin. She moaned softly and began to shiver. At the sound of Kate's complaint, James walked over, a bowl of cereal in his hand. "Hell Doc, do ya' want her ta' get a chill?" he growled.

"No, but I don't want her to get overheated either. She'll warm up in a minute." Jack's clinical tone clearly bothered James. He looked at Juliet and she shook her head, so he walked away and stood to watch from the kitchen.

"I'll go find a thermometer," Juliet suggested, heading to the bathroom.

"Bring some Advil or Tylenol too," Jack called after her.

Juliet nearly shouted after him, _It's 1977, we don't have any Advil!_ But then she remembered that Jack didn't know about the time difference. "I hope Kate gets better so that won't be an issue," she muttered to herself.

When she returned Jack had gotten a glass of water and was trying to get Kate to drink it. Juliet silently passed him the glass thermometer and he looked at her in complete shock. "You're kidding, right. Don't you know how toxic the mercury is in these? Do you have anything better?"

"The mercury is only harmful if the thermometer breaks, Jack," she reminded him. "And I'm sorry but that's all we have."

Jack sighed, knowing he'd lost the fight. He shook the thermometer then carefully placed it under Kate's tongue. After waiting a few minutes, he removed it and looked at the temperature, frowning.

101.2° F.

"She definitely has a fever." He then took the bottle of Tylenol from Juliet, taking two pills and, after great difficulty, forced Kate to swallow them.

Afterwards the room was quiet, except for Kate's laboured breathing. James tapped his foot impatiently and Jack winced in irritation, wanting to shout at the man but thinking better of it.

Suddenly the ringing of a phone broke the silence. The shrill keening filled Jack's ears and did nothing to help his headache.

James picked up the phone resting on the kitchen wall and Jack was thankful for the end of the torture. James listened to the voice on the other end of the line and though Jack could hear a faint murmuring coming from the other end, he couldn't distinguish any words. So James' responses didn't make much sense.

"He did _what_? Shit, why? Why would ya' let him drive over there alone?" The person on the other phone responded to James' angry tone, causing the blonde man to snort. "Phil's an idiot. And ya' heard what?" Another pause as the caller explained. "No, no, she's here. No, they didn't get her. Yeah, she didn't handle the drugs very well. Then she had a headache so she spent the night in the infirmary." More talking from on the other line. "She ain't comin' ta' work today, she's still sick. I donno, I got Jules lookin' after her, but I guess she can come in for a bit."

The two chatted for a few more minutes about things that Jack didn't understand at all. Then James hung up and turned to Juliet. "I need ta' talk ta' ya' for a minute," he said, signaling to the hallway. Jack was about to protest that James and Juliet were withholding information, when Kate suddenly woke up.

"Jack," she whimpered. He sat down beside her, knowing she wanted him to come closer. Her eyes were dulled by the fever and he wished he could make her feel better. Her hand came out from under the blankets, searching for him.

Jack took hold of it and held her tightly, listening as she sighed in pleasure. "Kate, how are you feeling right now. Are you hot or cold?" Now that she was awake he was determined to try and find out more about her illness.

"No," she breathed. "I'm just right." She was silent for so long that Jack wondered if she'd fallen back asleep. Then she turned to face him. "I need to know why."

"Why what?" he wondered. Jack wasn't sure if Kate was delirious from her fever or if she was actually trying to ask him something.

"Why you would drink..." she trailed off morosely.

Jack blinked. _Didn't see that coming_, he thought to himself. She was staring at him, anticipating an answer. "I'm sorry, Kate. I just couldn't handle..." he didn't know what he was trying to say. But now she was frowning at him, seeming more alert than she had all morning.

"Handle what? The truth? Because what you remembered yesterday, that _is _the truth, Jack. I swear to you that you used to love me...once."

Jack got the feeling that Kate wasn't usually this honest. He was certain that they were only having this talk because she was half delirious with fever. "Do I have a son?" he asked abruptly.

Kate wasn't sure she'd heard right. Had Jack just asked if he had a son? Through the fog in her brain, she was fairly certain he'd never ask that, but she couldn't be sure. As she lay there, staring at him in confusion, Jack pulled something out of his pocket.

He handed it to her silently and Kate was overjoyed to see it was the picture of Jack and Aaron. That was one of her favourite photos of them and when she made the decision to come back to the Island, she'd gotten it laminated so that it wouldn't be destroyed by the unexpected Island weather. She hadn't known then what she would be coming back to, but she'd tried to prepare herself as much as possible.

The picture was the only thing she'd packed that really mattered. And when Jack had told her that he couldn't find a plane – which meant all of their luggage had gone missing – Kate had been thankful that she'd placed the photo in her pocket instead of her suitcase.

She'd brought it as a reminder for the life she'd one had. Like the ring, it represented a time when she had been part of a family. Yesterday before she fell asleep she'd wanted to look at it, needing to reassure herself that those few weeks hadn't been a dream. But she hadn't been able to find it.

Briefly another thought occurred to her, but it was gone before Kate could think about it any more.

"Do I have a son?" Jack repeated slowly, in case she hadn't heard the first time.

Looking at the picture in her hand, Kate finally understood. He thought Aaron was his son. _And he was, for a while. _Just not biologically, which was what Jack was asking.

"No, Jack. Aaron isn't your son. He's Claire's son," she said coldly.

Jack was surprised at the venom in her words. Then what she'd said fully registered in his brain. "Claire? The woman who I dreamed was drowning by the lake? The one who you'd said is lost? Then why am I in a picture with her son? Was I looking after him?" He continued spouting questions at Kate but now her eyes were drifting shut once more, exhausted by their conversation.

"Kate! Don't fall asleep," Jack begged, more confused than ever. He could see her struggling to stay conscious and she whispered one more thing before falling back into a restless sleep.

"I love you."

* * *

In the hallway James quietly explained to Juliet who was on the phone. "It was Horace. He says he needs ya' at the garage now."

"Why?" she asked, her first thought was of Kate in the next room.

"Apparently Phil smashed up one o' the cars pretty bad," James said. At Juliet's look he quickly elaborated. "He was drivin' 'round today. Past the border. So o' course he ran inta the Hostiles. They probably thought it was me again..."

_What? When was the last time James had a run-in with the Hostiles? _Juliet wondered, she but decided to let him finish his explanation first.

"It seems he saw Jin drivin' in the wrong direction this mornin'. He was supposed ta' be searchin' grid one-three-four today for any other people from the plane. But instead he was headin' ta' the Flame. I ain't sure why, but ya' know Phil. The nosey little snitch was followin' him when he got lost." James snorted. "Idiot. Anyway, so then the Hostiles came 'n since he refused ta' go with them ta' their camp, they busted up the car pretty bad before he got away. 'N H says that we gotta have all o' the vans workin' right now in case o' an emergency or somethin'."

He paused, looking at the front hall for a moment. "Me 'n the Doc can take care o' Kate, Jules. ya' should go so H doesn't get suspicious. I already told him I can't work today 'cause I'm feelin' sick." Juliet raised an eyebrow at that. "Yeah, I know. Shame on me for lyin' ta' the big boss. But what else could I say?"

Juliet was reluctant to leave but James made a good point. If they wanted to continue searching for people from the plane, then they had to continue to act normal. And though she knew everyone was hoping to find the plane – Jin especially, once he'd learned his wife was on it – Juliet hoped there weren't too many people aboard. She wasn't sure how they would ever explain a few hundred people appearing out of the jungle.

Of course, Locke was dead, so that was one less person to worry about... Juliet was surprised she'd even think that. How was one of their friends being dead a good thing?

"Hey, Sweetheart. Ya' gotta get goin', okay?" James said, interrupting her dark thoughts. "I promise I've got the situation under control. Jack is a good doctor, even when he's hungover. So go 'n do yer job. Ya' chose it, remember?"

Juliet nodded, finally giving in. She went to go put on her dark blue jumpsuit while James headed back to check on Kate.

He found Jack sitting on the floor beside her, their hands clasped together even though Kate was sleeping. "Doc," he said, inclining his head at Jack. "How is she?"

The doctor lifted his own head and was about to ask what was going on when Juliet raced out the door. "I'll be back soon. Take care of her, James." Then she kissed him on the cheek, waved goodbye to Jack, and was gone.

The two men waited in awkward silence until James had an idea. "Ya' got any plans for today, Jacko?"

* * *

Up next: Sawyer and Jack find some entertainment. Any guesses as to what it is?


	10. Playin' Around

Thanks so much for the reviews. :) This chapter is for everyone who wanted some Jack and Sawyer time. Credit to **Northern Wolf **and **Lyon **for the idea.

* * *

**Chapter 10: Playin' Around**

_Fun's not so bad. You should try it sometime._ ~ Kate Auten, 2.17

"You're kidding, right?" Jack shouted, outraged. James was being ridiculous. "You want me to play _poker _with you? Now?"

James snickered, glancing over at Kate sleeping on the couch. "What else're ya gonna do? Sit there 'n watch Freckles sleep?" Once he'd have been content to sit and watch Kate all day – she'd always looked so peaceful in her sleep – but those times were over. James was enjoying seeing Jack wrestle with the idea, however.

"Why do you call her 'Freckles'?" the doctor asked quietly. The unexpected question threw James for a moment and before he could come up with a good enough response, he blurted out the truth.

"'Cause the first time I met her, I noticed that she had a lotta freckles. Ain't ya seen 'em, Doc?"

Jack didn't answer, not wanting to give James the satisfaction. But Kate's face was forever etched into his mind, every small detail. From her green eyes to her beautiful smile, Jack would remember every part of it without having to even look at her.

The day he'd first laid eyes on her back on the beach she'd looked so beautiful... _Wait, what beach? _He'd first met Kate by a lake, not a beach. Right?

Now Jack did turn his gaze to Kate, foolishly hoping she would be awake and able to answer his growing list of questions.

Then he heard James clattering dishes in the kitchen, presumably finishing his breakfast, before coming back to the living room and grabbing a book off the shelf. At Jack's disbelieving expression, the blonde man grinned.

"Yeah, yeah. I know what you're gonna say. 'How can ya read at a time like this, Sawyer?' Well Jack, it's better than what you're doin'."

"Oh yeah? And what is that?" Jack responded, already annoyed at having to be alone with James.

"Waitin'," he replied smoothly. "Way I see it, Kate ain't doin' nothin' or goin' nowhere. So why not have some fun?"

That was when James' earlier comment finally registered in Jack's mind. "Did you just call yourself 'Sawyer'?" he asked threateningly.

"Hell, ya really gotta start rememberin' this stuff. Ya been callin' me 'Sawyer' as long as I been callin' ya 'Doc'. Don't get all offended or nothin', it ain't my fault ya forgot."

Jack didn't say anything, he just stared at the wall, thinking. _Sawyer, huh? _The name sounded very familiar and Jack was certain it belonged to the blonde man sitting in the room. It was better than 'James', at least.

Sawyer waited for a moment, then went back to his novel.

"How long have you and Kate known each other?" Jack's question made him sigh in annoyance as he slammed his book shut.

"Tell ya' what, let's go to the kitchen." He stood up, waiting until Jack followed him. Then they sat down at the kitchen table, Jack making sure he was at an angle where he could still see Kate. Sawyer rifled through the drawers, cursing in frustration until he found what he wanted.

Placing it on the table triumphantly, Jack saw that it was a deck of cards. "What? You want to play Go Fish?" he asked sarcastically. Sawyer frowned.

"Lose the jokes, Dr. Giggles, 'cause they ain't funny. We're playin' poker." He began shuffling the cards, watching in amusement as Jack struggled to say something.

"I already told you, I'm not playing games right now, _Sawyer_," he said, testing out the nickname. It easily rolled off his tongue.

"Well too bad, 'cause I ain't answerin' anymore o' yer questions 'til ya' beat me. You're drivin' me crazy, so how 'bout this? We play one game. If ya' win, ya' can ask me any question ya' want. But only one, 'cause I don't got the patience for more. 'N if I win, ya' gotta shut up 'til Juliet gets back. That means no talkin' ta' me, no askin' questions. Just peaceful silence. So, whaddya say?"

Jack couldn't help smiling slightly at how ridiculous Sawyer was being. "One question? Those are pretty high stakes, doesn't seem very fair..."

"It's the only way you're gonna get any answers from me. 'N I'm sure ya' got one thing you're just dyin' ta' know, right?" When Jack didn't answer, he nodded in satisfaction. "Alrighty then, seems we got a deal."

Jack, however, was still looking for excuses not to play against Sawyer. He was having another feeling of déjà vu and he wished it would go away. And now that Kate was asleep, he didn't have to act like the doctor anymore. With nothing to take his mind of his headache, Jack found himself sinking into a very bad mood.

"I am not playing poker with you," he snapped. "Besides, what would we use for betting? I don't exactly have any money with me at the moment."

Sawyer grinned slyly, looking around the kitchen. "It's time ta' get creative, Leonardo. How 'bout we use somethin' you're familiar with?" He continued scanning the room, getting up and checking the fridge too.

"Leonardo?"

He heard a sigh as Sawyer turned around in annoyance. "Da Vinci? The painer? Ya' remember him, or did ya' forget those history lessons too? 'Cause that wouldn't be so bad." He continued rambling before Jack could interrupt. "He's the guy who made the Mona Lisa. Fine piece o' art. Musta been real artistic, great mind." He paused, slamming the fridge door shut when it offered nothing useful.

"'N don't ask me ta' explain my nicknames again, Jack. 'Cause that sure as hell takes the fun outta usin' 'em." He frowned, looking around the kitchen in dismay. "Be right back, Doc. Don't go nowhere."

Sawyer returned moments later, holding a small silver case. "Looks like we're in luck. I just happened ta' have this in my closet." He popped it open, displaying rows of small, coloured poker chips. Jack picked one up and saw that it had a strange logo on it.

"Dharma? Why does that name sound familiar?" he wondered. Briefly another image came to mind. A similar looking octagon, except it had a picture of a swan in the center. Then another symbol, this time with a plant-like object instead. The Hydra, he knew.

"Enough reminiscin', are ya' gonna play or what?" Jack heard what Sawyer hadn't said aloud. _Hatch ain't goin' nowhere, Doc. How 'bout you put your mangoes where your mouth is?_

"Mangoes?" Jack asked aloud. Sawyer grinned wickedly.

"Sorry, we ain't got any mangoes or papayas today. Just regular poker chips. Hope that works for ya', Andy Black. Now let's play some poker. Whaddya say?"

Jack thought for a minute. He really did have nothing else to do. And he also had the strange feeling that he'd played this game with Sawyer before. And had won. "I guess I could play a hand or two," he admitted, much to Sawyer's amusement.

"Alrighty then, Doc. Now shut up 'n make yer bet."

* * *

Sawyer was feeling very confident. He wasn't going to make the same mistakes as he had before, this time he was going to beat Jack.

"What're ya' gonna do now, Doc?" he asked smugly. He'd been playing seriously from the beginning, determined to make up from the previous time he'd been humiliated. But Jack was acting distracted and edgy, not paying attention at all.

Sawyer had done well the last few rounds and now it finally seemed like Jack was gaining interest.

"I'll see yer bet 'n raise ya' fifty bucks," Sawyer continued assuredly, pushing his chips forward. They were nearing the end of the game and he was already longing for the silence that was sure to follow. _Now I can finally read my book in peace, as long as Jackass loses_, he thought.

Jack considered his options, rubbing his forehead as he concentrated. "I'm all-in," he stated, moving his entire pile of poker chips to the center of the table.

Sawyer blinked at the unexpected turn of events. _Keep cool_, he thought confidently. _Don't let the damn doctor get in yer head. But he must be pretty sure o' himself..._ He debated for a few moments. The last time Jack had gone all-in there had been a crowd of people waiting for Sawyer to make a fool of himself. Now he and Jack were alone so it didn't matter much either way.

Not that he wanted to look like an idiot, but it wasn't as important to keep up appearances now. And besides, last time Jack had pushed in with a pair of nines. Sawyer could definitely beat a weak hand like that today.

"Alrighty then. I call," he surrendered. "Whaddya got?" For a moment as he waited for Jack to lay his cards down, he was uncertain if he was giving in to Jack's plan or foiling it.

Then Jack grinned smugly and slapped down his two playing cards.

"Dammit," Sawyer shouted. "Ya' had queens over sixes the whole time?" He threw down his king-high flush in annoyance.

Jack was grinning to himself.

"Fine," the blonde man sighed. "So what's yer question, Phil Gordon?"

Jack leaned back in his chair, staring blankly into the next room. Sawyer knew he was watching Kate. The doctor had always worn that tender expression around her, only now it was filled with puzzlement as well.

As the minutes ticked by and Jack continued to remain silent, Sawyer's patience began to wear thin. Finally he stood up, frustrated that Jack still had no question for him.

"Hell, I might as well o' won the game," he muttered to himself. As he was walking back to the living room, thoughts already turned to the book he was about to read, Jack's voice stopped him in his tracks.

"Do you love Kate?" Sawyer's face hardened as Jack turned and looked him straight in the eye.

"_That's _you big question. Wouldn'tcha rather find out 'bout the Hatch or somethin'?" he asked, hoping to distract the doctor.

"What's the Hatch?" Jack was curious, Sawyer had mentioned something called the 'Hatch' before and he wondered what it was.

"Exactly," Sawyer replied but Jack wasn't about to be deterred. He stared at Sawyer, waiting for an answer the man had to give.

"Fine," the southener groaned, irritated that Jack had gotten the best of him once more. "I did." He was tempted to turn away in embarrassment, but he held Jack's gaze. Now wasn't the time to back down.

"_Did_?" Jack wondered.

"Before she left," Sawyer elaborated. "'N before she broke my heart." A look of surprise briefly crossed Jack's face, then it was gone.

"How?"

"By my count, that's yer third question, Doc. I gave ya' the second one, but that's all yer gonna get outta me. Why don'tcha ask her when she wakes up?" Turning back to the front room, Sawyer grinned, feeling slightly triumphant.

"Okay, so what's the Hatch?" Jack called after him.

Sawyer swore under his breath, clenching his fists in anger. _If Jack follows me in here, I swear ta' god I'm gonna take a swing at him, _he promised himself. "I toldja _one _question, Edison. Do we gotta play another game just so I can shut you up?" He stormed back to the table and began shuffling the deck violently. "Same stakes. But don't think ya' can beat me again, just 'cause ya' got lucky."

_You think 'cause you watch poker on TV you can tussle with the big boys? _Jack heard Sawyer's voice saying those words, but he knew the man hadn't spoken aloud.

"Okay," Jack said, waiting as Sawyer dealt the cards. "But how about you deal again? And this time from the top of the deck."

Sawyer smirked. "Damn. Nothin' gets by you, does it?"

* * *

Many games later, Sawyer was getting more and more frustrated. How did Jack keep winning? It just wasn't possible.

He sighed, laying down his pathetic pair of threes. "One more game, Doc. 'N this time don't take it so easy on me."

Jack laughed, his mood had increased dramatically as the poker tournament with Sawyer continued. "I already get to ask you four more questions, and you owe me five thousand dollars. Are you sure you want to play again?"

"Dammit, we're gonna play this game 'til I win," he shouted, arranging his small pile of poker chips and dealing out the cards.

Before either of them had made a move, however, the front door burst open and an Asian man with short black hair stormed in. "Jin told me this morning that Locke brought the – " he was cut off as Sawyer shouted at him.

"Close the door, ya' idiot! The whole world don't need ta' hear!"

The man complied, looking faintly abashed. Then he saw Kate sleeping on the couch. "It's true," he exclaimed, making his way to the kitchen. His eyes opened wider when he saw Jack and Sawyer's game spread out on the table. "Why didn't you tell me, boss?"

Jack noticed he was wearing a jumpsuit with the words 'Miles' and 'Security' stitched on the front.

"Hell, Miles. I didn't wanna go spreadin' the news 'round ta' the whole damn Dharma Initiative. I woulda toldja eventually. But I'm takin' the day off." That reminded him of something. "Why aren't _you _workin'? If H gets suspicious 'cause ya' ain't doin' yer job..." he trailed off, leaving the threat open ended. Miles didn't even flinch.

"I was actually wondering if you had seen Jin. I saw him go out for his morning rounds, but he never came back."

Sawyer looked at Jack who was staring intently at Miles. He knew the doctor was trying to remember why Miles seemed so familiar. _I sure as hell hope he don't use his questions ta' ask 'bout this, _Sawyer thought. Then he nodded at the Asian man, indicating the hallway.

Jack sighed but didn't argue. Clearly no one wanted to tell him anything, so he'd just have to find out for himself. Quietly he walked to the living room and sat down beside Kate, taking her temperature but straining to hear the conversation in the hallway.

"Hey, how was I supposed to know?" Miles was saying.

"After three years, ya' should know ta' keep a low profile." That was Sawyer. Jack missed what Miles said next because suddenly a strange static noise filled the hall.

"Jin, is that you?" Sawyer asked. There was more static and then a clicking noise.

"Why don't you have your walkie on? I tried yours first but you didn't answer, so I had to use Miles'," came the voice on the other end. Jack remembered Jin as the man who'd first driven up in the car near the lake.

"I'm takin' the day off," Sawyer replied curtly.

"Well we have a problem. We found a Hostile."

"What?!" Sawyer shouted. Jack wondered briefly what a 'Hostile' was. "What do ya' mean ya' found a Hostile? Where?"

Jin didn't answer for a moment and Jack faintly heard other noises in the background. "He was wandering in the jungle. Radzinsky's taking care of him now." _Radzinsky? _Jack thought. He really needed to meet these people. But first he needed to get out of the house, which would be difficult since Sawyer wasn't letting him out of his sight. _Except for now..._ Jack thought slyly, a plan forming slowly in his head.

"What's he doin' in our territory?" Sawyer demanded. "It's a violation o' the truce." _Truce? _There was so much Jack didn't know and it was starting to making him annoyed.

More background noises came from the walkie, then Jin spoke once more. "It's Sayid." Jack knew that name should be familiar. He just wasn't sure why.

"What?! Son of a bitch!" Sawyer shouted, causing Kate to stir in her sleep. Jack realized that he'd kept the thermometer in her mouth longer than necessary and he quickly took it out, frowning as he read the numbers.

Her fever was getting higher.

Sawyer and Jin exchanged a few more words and then Sawyer was striding out the door moments later, wearing his own jumpsuit and glasses.

_You've got hyperopia, _Jack could almost hear himself saying.

_Hyperopia? That's, uh, what is that? _Sawyer's nervous voice made Jack smile to himself.

_You're far-sighted, _he explained, making the blonde man stop in his tracks.

"Yeah, thanks Doc. Ya' already told me that." Jack wasn't aware that he'd spoken aloud. "Stay here," Sawyer ordered as he left, Miles following behind him.

Jack sat still for a few minutes, watching Kate breath in and out. Knowing there was nothing he could do for her at the moment, he stood up and almost left before an idea came to him.

Walking quickly down the hallway towards the room he'd woken up in earlier, Jack pulled open the closet door. He smiled in satisfaction at the spare outfit hanging in front of him. He quickly slipped on the rough brown fabric, zipped it up and marched out of the house, praying no one would see through his disguise.

He desperately needed answers and, one way or another, he was going to get them.

* * *

Finally pulling up to the Flame station, James nearly jumped out of the car, eager to get this over with. He'd dropped Miles back at the security center, after much protesting from Miles and threats from himself. Now all he had to do was figure out how to deal with Sayid.

Jin came running towards him, worry etched all over his face.

"What the hell happened?" James inquired.

"Sayid just came walking out of the jungle in handcuffs, alone," the Korean man explained. _Handcuffs? _James wondered but there wasn't time for useless questions. He'd be sure to find out the whole story later. But for now...

"What? Did he say anything about the plane they were on?" he asked instead. But Jin just shook his head.

"No, I couldn't talk to him. Radzinsky thinks he's a Hostile. He won't leave us alone." _Perfect. I never liked that damn Swan-obsessed idiot. Guess I'll have ta' handle him too._

"I got this," James said, dropping his voice to a whisper. "Where is he?" he continued, meaning Sayid. Once again, Jin's answer wasn't promising.

"Locked in the storage room," he replied as they walked inside. Radzinsky, who'd been standing by the storage door, immediately started ranting about Sayid seeing the model of the Swan. James tuned him out, his mind already focused on finding a solution.

_Damn, _he thought. _Will things never be peaceful 'round here again?_

* * *

Jack walked down the sidewalk, staring at all the small yellow houses on either side of him. There were many people wandering around, swinging in hammocks or sitting on benches. And lots of children were outside playing as well.

Glancing at each person, Jack tried to find someone he hadn't already met. Finally he spotted a serious-looking man with short black hair. Jack wasn't sure why he chose this man, maybe because he seemed a bit confused.

"Hello?" the man, who wore a jumpsuit with the name 'Phil' on it, said slowly as Jack neared him.

"Hi, sorry to bother you, but where can I find James LaFleur?" Jack asked smoothly. He used the name on Sawyer's suit, hoping it was right.

"Uh, I don't think he's here right now. But I can give him a message for you later. Why do you need him?"

Jack paused, trying to come up with a good excuse. He noticed Phil eyeing his jumpsuit and suddenly realized why. How could he have been so stupid? "Somehow I ended up with his uniform. I'm new here, so he probably doesn't know me. I just wanted to give it back to him," Jack lied, working hard to sound like someone who was adjusting to a new environment, which wasn't very difficult because that much was true.

"Oh," Phil said, appearing slightly disappointed, as if he'd been looking for a bigger scandal. "Well you could probably just talk to Amy at the Processing Center. Didn't you meet her yesterday?" When Jack didn't answer, Phil shook his head. "Right, she had a baby the day before, so of course she wasn't working... Look, how about this? LaFleur is at the Flame station right now and I don't know how long he'll be, so I'll just tell him to find you when he gets back."

Jack thanked him and was about to turn away, but Phil continued to talk. "I wouldn't call him 'James', by the way. He hates it." Jack laughed nervously and began walking past Phil. "Wait," the man called and Jack struggled not to sigh in annoyance. "What's your name?"

Jack cursed to himself. He wasn't quite sure why he was going to the trouble of lying to the stranger, but he felt it was the right thing to do. _Should I tell him my real name? _He knew Phil was waiting for an answer, so he blurted out the first thing that came to his mind.

"David. David Reyes." He didn't know where the last name came from, but he thought it could work.

"Okay, David," Phil replied, holding out his hand for Jack to shake. "Nice to meet you."

* * *

James had finally convinced Radzinsky to let him open the storage room. He led Sayid out, trying to send him signals but not knowing if it was working.

"My name's LaFleur," he told Sayid, emphasizing the phrase. The last thing he wanted was for Sayid to start calling him Sawyer and ruin everything. "I'm head o' security," he continued, trying to ignore the sudden heat he was feeling. It was as if the temperature of the room had increased dramatically in a few short minutes. James could feel himself beginning to sweat but he wasn't going to be distracted by a little warmth.

"I want ya' ta' listen real carefully ta' what I gotta say. 'N if ya' do that...you'll be...fine. Under – understand?" His head was swimming and he felt his vision beginning to blur, despite his glasses.

_Aw hell, what's goin' on now? _he wondered. Sayid was staring at him in utter confusion and James could tell he was beginning to sway on his feet.

He slowly tipped over and suddenly the floor rushed up to meet him. Black swarmed in front of his vision but before he completely lost consciousness, he forced himself to look directly at Jin. And with all the remaining strength he had, James whispered, "Keep him safe." Then he faded out of awareness and everything disappeared.

* * *

Up next: Jack to the rescue and some Suliet!


	11. Secrets

Thank you so much for all the reviews. And thanks to **K. Palafox **for the help with this chapter.

The song is _Painting Flowers _by All Time Low. It's from the soundtrack to the new Alice in Wonderland movie, which is amazing in 3-D. And there's a poll at the bottom of this chapter, for anyone who is interested. :)

* * *

**Chapter 11: Secrets**

_Try to open up my eyes, I'm hoping for  
__The chance to make it alright._

_When I wake up, the dream isn't done.  
__I wanna see your face and know I made it home.  
__If nothing is true, what more can I do?  
__I am still painting flowers for you._

After finally escaping from Phil, Jack continued to wander through the rows of houses, unsure where to go next. He wanted to stay away from the Flame because the last thing he needed was to run into Sawyer. He had a feeling the southerner wouldn't approve of him leaving the house.

_I am not under house arrest, _Jack assured himself. _It's just a precaution. Sawyer doesn't want to risk me saying...what? _What could Jack possibly say that would affect Sawyer in any way? The question stumped Jack but he didn't linger on it.

Instead, he wondered where the Flame was located. If it was somewhere nearby he could walk past it at any moment. He nearly turned around to ask Phil, but then he quickly rejected the idea. There was something odd about the man that made Jack want to be as far away from him as possible.

So he kept walking, searching for someone who would be willing to provide directions without asking too many questions. Finally he spotted a young woman with curly red hair swinging peacefully in a hammock. There was a very old-looking baby carriage resting beside her and lying inside was an infant who couldn't have been born more than a week ago.

As he came closer, Jack realized the woman was staring at him with a frown on her face. "Hello," she said warily.

"Hi," Jack replied. "My name is David uh," he tried to remember the name he'd used before. "Reyes. I'm new here."

The woman visibly relaxed and flashed him a warm smile. "Oh, you're a new recruit huh? I'm Amy. Nice to meet you." She stared at him for a moment, puzzling over something. "I don't remember seeing you on registration day..." Amy trailed off, uncertain now.

"That's because that day you were taking care of your baby," Jack reminded her gently. But at her surprised and suspicious look he quickly backpedaled. "I was talking to Phil earlier and he told me."

Amy smiled again, relieved that Jack seemed to mean her no harm. "Yes, I was at home resting after delivering Ethan. I was supposed to go to the mainland for the delivery, but the baby came too early." She turned to gaze in adoration at her son sleeping soundly in the carriage. Jack was filled with a sudden rush of hatred. As soon as she said the boy's name, all he could hear was the sound of rain and then a loud gunshot.

But he quickly wiped the anger from his face, not wanting to frighten Amy with his problems.

"Is there something you needed?" she asked politely, not noticing the change in his mood.

"I was just wondering where the Flame station was," he told her, deciding to use the same lie as last time. "I somehow wound up with Jim LaFleur's jumpsuit and I didn't notice until today." He gestured at the name stitched on the pocket of the uniform, proving his point. Then he continued.

"I was just asking Phil where I could find Jim so I could give it back. He said Jim was at the Flame station but when we were done talking I realized that I don't know where that is. Do you have a map or something I could borrow?" He knew how faulty his story was, but thankfully Amy didn't notice how unbelievable it sounded.

"Oh sure. There are some extra maps at the Registration Office. Though you should have gotten one when you signed in..." she sighed. "This is why I don't take days off work," she mumbled to herself, then remembered Jack was standing in front of her.

"It's that way," she told him, pointing to the right. "I know it's easy to get turned around your first few days here. Don't worry though, you'll get used to it." She stuck out her hand and Jack shook it, smiling.

"It was nice meeting you, David," Amy told him. "See you around." Then she lay her head back down on the hammock, closing her eyes and beginning to rock gently back and forth once more.

"Okay," Jack said softly. "Thanks." He quietly backed away, glancing back at baby Ethan before shaking his head. _Just one more reason you need to find a person who can give you some answers, _he thought to himself. He began walking towards the Registration Office, his curiosity rising.

* * *

"Oh shit," Stuart Radzinsky swore loudly. Just when he needed LaFleur to handle something, of course the man would pass out. He snorted. "Head of Security. More like Head of Uselessness. Now what are we supposed to do with the Hostile?" An idea popped into his head and he grinned wickedly. "I guess I'm the one to handle this since LaFleur is...unavailable at the moment."

But before he could even reach for the unconscious man's gun, Jin stepped in the way. "Did you forget about me?" he demanded angrily. "I am a member of the security team too. And LaFleur said not to hurt the Hostile." He bent down to examine James. "We need to get him back to the Infirmary. Help me carry him to the van."

He started to pick up LaFleur but Radzinsky stopped him. "We are not just leaving the Hostile here alone where he can spy on more of my work!" he shouted indignantly. Why did no one else see just how important the Swan project was?

Jin wasn't about to back down either, though. "Then we take him with us," he said simply. "He can help me carry LaFleur, since you don't want to." Then he turned to the Hostile. "Is that okay with you?" The man didn't answer, but the way the two looked at each other, there were almost hints of _recognition _in their expressions.

Radzinsky pushed the idea away immediately, not quite willing to believe that the Hostiles had an informant stationed within Dharma. _It could be possible though_, he thought, recalling the suspicious circumstances that had brought LaFleur and his crew here three years ago.

Horace had believed their story right away, but he was a fool. Too nice for his own good, Radzinsky had always thought. He himself would be a much better leader for the Dharma Initiative though. He would be strict and rule the people with an iron fist, nothing would get past him and he could finally finish designing the Swan...

Jin's voice brought Stuart back to the present as he reached for his walkie talkie. "We should tell Horace what is going on," he explained when Radzinsky glared at him questioningly. Switching the dial to Horace's frequency, the Korean man pressed a button and waited for the other handset to respond. After a few moments a voice came through amidst the static.

"This is Horace. Jin is that you? What's going on? Where's Jim?" Horace's voice rang throughout the room. Radzinsky snorted in irritation and turned back to the Hostile, keeping a close eye on him.

"LaFleur collapsed," Jin told him. "We are bringing him back now. Can you find Ja – Juliet and bring her to the Infirmary? We will meet you there." Though Jin hadn't faltered, Radzinsky was sure he'd been about to ask for someone else, but of course Horace didn't notice.

Horace didn't reply right away, processing the information. _He's an idiot, just like the rest of them_, Radzinsky thought bitterly.

"Okay. Do you know what happened?' he finally asked.

"He was fine one minute and the next he was lying on the floor," Jin said. He was about to elaborate when Stuart grabbed the handheld radio.

"Yeah, yeah. LaFleur is unconscious, we get it," he said, glaring at the Korean man now bent back down beside James. "The real problem," Radzinsky continued, "is what are we supposed to do with the Hostile who appeared from the jungle?"

He thought he heard a small gasp on the other line and he smiled smugly. Maybe Horace would take him seriously for once. But his hopes were crushed after Horace's next words.

"Well you can't leave a Hostile up there alone. Bring him down with you." Radzinsky sighed. Did no one else see the other option?

"Or," he emphasized the word, wanting Horace to know there was a different solution. "We shoot him."

"God no," Horace exclaimed. "We aren't savages here."

"He violated the truce," Radzinsky protested. "And since he hasn't identified himself as a Hostile, we still have the right to shoot him."

"If I find out that you have shot that man, I will personally have you shipped back to Ann Arbour. Do you understand?"

Radzinsky wished he could reach through the walkie and personally knock Horace out. But since that wasn't possible, he gathered what remained of his pride and agreed sourly.

"Good, now hurry up and get back here. I'm on my way to the motor pool now." Then he eneded the connection and Stuart found himself the center of attention in the room.

"What are you staring at?" he snapped. "You heard Horace. Get LaFleur in the van."

Jin nodded, satisfied at having won the argument. He and the Hostile gently carried James to the Dharma bus, laying him down on the backseat.

"You drive, Jin," Radzinsky ordered, about to slide into the back. "I need to watch the Hostile."

"He can't go anywhere from a moving vehicle, Radzinsky. You drive, I will sit in the back with him and LaFleur."

Stuart was about to argue but then he surrendered. What difference did it make? Anyone would be pretty stupid to jump from a moving vehicle. Then again, people were usually stupid when they were desperate.

"Fine, but you'd better keep a really close eye on him," he instructed, seeing Jin roll his eyes in the rearview mirror.

"Just drive quickly. We need to get LaFleur to the Infirmary before he gets any worse."

* * *

Jack had found the building labeled 'Processing Center' and was nearly there when a voice stopped him in his tracks.

"Hey, Jack. What are you doing?" Jack cursed to himself and almost didn't turn around. But he was afraid the person would keep shouting, so he quickly glanced over his shoulder. And when he did, he saw Hurley walking towards him.

He waited until the big man caught up. Then he led the way to a bench resting under the shade of a tree. Sitting down, Jack motioned for Hurley to sit too.

"What's up dude?" Hurley asked, knowing he wanted to talk about something.

"My name isn't Jack," he replied. "It's David." Hurley stared at him blankly, wondering if Jack had gone completely mad.

"Uh, dude? I hate to like, tell you this. But your name is definitely Jack," he said slowly, trying to determine how Jack would react.

To Hurley's surprise, he smiled slightly. "I know. But to everyone else here, my name is David. David Reyes."

Hurley's eyes widened in shock. He'd never told Jack his last name – at least, not since he'd forgotten everything. So did this mean Jack was starting to remember? "That's uh, my last name, man. Are we like, cousins now?"

Jack blinked. Reyes was Hurley's last name? How had he known that? "Yeah, sure. If anyone asks, we're cousins," he agreed smoothly.

"But why are you lying to people, David?" Hurley asked, testing out the name. He didn't like the sound of it.

"Because I get the feeling that I'm not supposed to be here. I've already had to tell two people that I'm a new recruit, but I don't even know what I've been recruited for!" He was shouting now, his frustration building so much that he couldn't contain it.

"Chill, dude. You're right, though. You're totally not supposed to be here. That's why Sawyer was keeping you in the house. How did you get out anyway?" Then he covered his mouth, realizing he'd been babbling and now afraid he'd said too much.

Jack chuckled, unable to get mad at Hurley. "Don't worry, I kind of figured that part out." Hurley sighed in relief. He'd never been good at keeping secrets and he hated it when people asked him to. "And I just walked out the door after Sawyer left. There was some kind of emergency at the Flame station. Something about a Hostile..."

Hurley carefully kept his face blank. Jack didn't obviously had no idea what a Hostile was. Hurley himself hadn't either, at least not until earlier this morning. Kate had briefly talked about her late night adventure with Sawyer from the first day they arrived back on the Island. She'd mentioned the Hostiles they'd encountered, and together she and Hurley concluded that 'Hostile' was the name the Dharma Initiative had given to the Others.

Not that he was even going to attempt to explain this to Jack right now. So Hurley just nodded his head, trying to look properly confused.

"So where's Kate?" he wondered, deciding to change the subject before Jack noticed his discomfort. But his plan backfired when Jack glanced away guiltily. "Dude, what's going on? 'Cause she wasn't looking so good this morning." Hurley remembered how much she'd been shivering. He had been so worried that he'd meant to drop by earlier but things were so busy at the cafeteria that he'd forgotten.

"Kate has a fever, Hurley. She's at Sawyer's house sleeping right now," Jack admitted reluctantly, starting to feel bad about leaving here there.

"She's sick and you're out here talking to me?" Hurley shouted, outraged. Jack was shocked, Hurley wasn't the type to get mad easily. Or so he'd thought.

"She was sleeping. There wasn't anything I could do for her until she woke up. So I decided to explore a bit," he said, defending himself. But Hurley wasn't buying it.

"That's low, Jack. I think you just didn't want to be around Kate because you don't like how she makes you feel." Hurley's tone was serious, more so than Jack had ever heard before. He wondered when Hurley had gotten so damn perceptive.

Then he shook his head. _Stop acting like you've known him for more than a few minutes, _Jack ordered himself. _Because really, that's how much time you've ever spent with Hurley. It's not like he's an old friend or anything..._

But that didn't mean he wasn't right. In his very direct way, Hurley had brought Jack's feelings to the surface. The very feelings he 'd been trying to keep hidden from himself.

"You're right," he reluctantly admitted. "There's something about Kate that's – " Jack wasn't even sure how to describe it. "I've never felt that way around anyone else before. But it doesn't make sense. I barely know her, yet I have these _memories _of things that have never happened. And Kate is in all of them. Even though I never met her until a few days ago it feels as if I've known her for years."

Jack stopped, realizing he'd been ranting. But it was so easy to talk to Hurley, so natural. And when the big man looked at him sympathetically, Jack understood why. Because he and Hurley were friends. He wasn't sure how it happened, they seemed to have gone from acquaintances to close companions in a few minutes, but he knew it was true.

"You should go back to the house, Jack. Kate needs you. Even if she's not awake now, you've gotta be there when she wakes up. She really cares about you, you know." Hurley's advice hit home with Jack, saying aloud all of the thoughts he'd been keeping inside. He wasn't sure what he'd been planning to do out here anyway, but now going back to Sawyer's house seemed like the best option. And he realized this was what his heart had been telling him the entire time.

"Okay," he agreed, standing up and patting Hurley on the back. "Thanks man." Then he was gone and Hurley leaned back against the bench in satisfaction. _Another job well done, _he thought, congratulating himself on his success. _Now Jack just has to remember how much he loves Kate. _He frowned briefly, trying to figure out how to help make that realization happen.

And he was still worried about Kate, but as long as Jack was there looking after her, she would be fine. Even though Jack didn't understand why, he would still do anything for her. Hurley knew the feelings those two shared would never be completely erased from Jack's mind.

_Give it some time and soon Jack and Kate will be back together again...I hope._

* * *

As soon as he turned off his walkie, Horace began driving to the motor pool. It wasn't surprising that Jin had asked for Juliet. Even though she was a mechanic, they all knew she was a good doctor as well. The night she had delivered Amy's baby, Horace himself was passed out on the couch, but the next morning the intern had told him she'd done a great job.

So she would be the natural choice as a doctor for Jim. The two were very close and if anyone could look after him while he was sick, it was her.

_I wonder what's wrong with Jim, _Horace thought, his mind turning back to the current situation. Everything had been fairly peaceful after Jim and his crew's dramatic arrival three years ago. Now suddenly chaos was becoming more and more common. Jim and Juliet had both started taking days off from work and Jin was acting strangely too, especially this morning.

Something was going on, Horace knew. But whatever it was, Jim and his friends weren't saying a word. So he'd just have to find out for himself. One way or another.

At that moment, he pulled up to the Dharma garage. Pushing those dark thoughts out of his head, Horace slid out of the vehicle. He saw Juliet lying underneath the van Phil had busted up earlier.

"Juliet," he called loudly, startling the other mechanics. In reply he heard a bang followed by a strong curse. Juliet swiftly wheeled herself out from under the van, clutching her head. Horace looked on sympathetically until she turned to glare at him.

"What?" she snapped, wiping her grease covered hands on her jumpsuit. Horace could tell she was in a bad mood. Obviously she wasn't too pleased about having to work on her day off and now here he was, interrupting her again.

"Sorry to bother you, Juliet," he began but he quickly got to the point as he noticed her impatience. "We have a bit of a situation and I need you to come to the Infirmary with me."

She frowned, rubbing her forehead and accidently smearing a spot of grease above her eyebrow. Horace resisted the urge not to smile. He knew it wouldn't be appropriate at the moment.

"What kind of situation, Horace?" Juliet demanded angrily. Then she realized how rude she was being and she quickly backtracked. "Sorry. But I'm not a doctor anymore. I know that I helped Amy with her baby, but that was an emergency. This is not going to become a regular occurrence." She lowered her voice and muttered something Horace didn't quite hear. But he thought it sounded like, "I'm not going to be that person anymore."

He wondered what she meant. Now that he was thinking about it, there was a lot he didn't know about Juliet. Or her friends, for that matter. The only information he had were the brief explanations they'd given him about their ship crashing here. But that wasn't nearly enough. He had no idea what kind of woman Juliet had been before arriving here, though he was starting to think there was a lot more to her than what he saw on the surface.

"Horace?" she repeated. "What's the matter?"

He tried to focus back on their conversation. "It's Jim," he said, knowing Juliet wouldn't need to hear anything else. He nodded grimly to himself as her mouth dropped open and she stood up straighter.

"Then what are we standing around here for?" she demanded, already runing to the van. "Let's go."

* * *

Jin was really starting to worry about James. He had started tossing and turning violently in his sleep and now he was complaining about the cold.

"Can you not drive any faster Radzinsky?" he asked frantically, searching the van to see if there was a blanket anywhere.

Stuart rolled his eyes. "This is as fast as I can go without hitting a tree," he retorted. "LaFleur will be fine until we get there."

Suddenly James moaned in pain. A tremor ran through his body and he curled up tightly. Jin was worried by how flushed his face was. He moaned again and the sound of agony filled the vehicle.

"What's the matter, James? Is there anything I can do?" But the blonde man remained unconscious, not able to answer.

Though as they continued driving down the road, with bumps so frequent that the van and its riders were constantly being jostled around, James slowly sat up and stared at his surroundings. His eyes were bright with fever but he seemed completely alert. In fact, he was even looking at Jin with a spark of recognition.

"What is goin' on here?" he demanded, somewhat woozily. Jin could only gape at him in shock. Was he already getting better? _Maybe he'd just been in the sun too long_, he thought to himself. _Or it was something he ate._

"How are you feeling, LaFleur?" Jin asked. After taking a moment to understand what Jin had said, an expression of confusion appeared on James' face.

"LaFleur? What the hell is that supposed ta' mean? Some kinda code word?" When Jin didn't reply, he slowly turned to Sayid, swaying slightly as he did so. Jin immediately knew this could not end well. Clearly James was experiencing some sort of delusion but Jin didn't know how to stop it.

"Did we get captured by the damn Others again?" James asked Sayid, trying to sound loud and angry but instead his voice came out fuzzy and barely audible. The Iraqi man remained silent, not giving himself away though quiet understanding filled his eyes.

"Come on Sayid," James continued, his words slurring slightly as the room spun around in a slow circle. "Are ya' gonna play the silent treatment with me now?"

Radzinsky, who had been oblivious to the conversation until now, was suddenly paying full attention. "Did he just call that Hostile 'Sayid'?" he asked Jin suspiciously. The Korean man was not sure how to reply so he said nothing, which only angered Radzinsky more. "Do you know something about this, Kwon?" he shouted. "Is LaFleur working with the Hostiles. Are _you_?"

Jin frowned but ignored him. Right now James was his only concern.

"Jin, you'd better tell me what the hell happened before I have ta' start callin' for Ben or Zeke," James continued to rant, slurring the more he spoke. He didn't appear to realize that they were in a moving vehicle which was currently speeding through a jungle.

"Who are the Others?" Radzinsky wondered aloud but once again Jin stayed mute. "Answer me dammit!"

Jin jumped in surprise at his outburst. "James is hallucinating, don't pay attention to him. Please just focus on driving," he requested. Radzinsky snorted but did not continue his questioning for the moment.

James however, was not backing down. "God dammit, someone better tell me where the hell we are before I have ta' force it from ya'." He was really angry now, Jin knew he always swore a lot more when he was upset.

"Please James, calm down," he said soothingly but that only caused the unwell man to glare at him.

"Who the hell do ya' think ya' are, callin' me James? Where'd ya' even hear that name?" he shouted, his voice raspy.

Jin didn't understand. "James is your name. Would you rather I call you Sawyer?"

Radzinsky chuckled at that. "Sawyer huh? Why are you playing along with him, Jin?"

"Sawyer's my name, Jin-Bo, 'n don'tcha wear it out," James responded, oblivious to Radzinsky's words. He then glanced at Sayid again. "'N how did they manage ta' capture Our Own Genuine Iraqi?" he asked in dismay. "Hell, all we need is The Good ol' Doc 'n then it'll be a real party." James thought about that for a moment, his thoughts moving sluggishly. "Nah, we can have a good time without Jackass. Besides, he already beat me at poker this mornin', don't need ta' be reminded o' that."

By this point Radzinsky was nearly bursting with questions, but he wasn't about to interrupt LaFleur's delirious exclamations. This was the most excitement he'd had all week.

"So what Island did they bring us to this time?" he continued slowly. Jin could see each sentence was taking more and more effort for him to say. "Hydra Island or our own Home Sweet Home Craphole Island?"

This caught Radzinsky's attention too. "Why is he talking about Hydra Island in front of the Hostile?! You'd better shut him up Kwon before he spills any more of our secrets." _Maybe this is all part of the Hostiles' plan. He drugged LaFleur when we weren't looking, hoping he knew a lot of highly classified information. And now he's going to find out everything! _But Radzinsky kept his suspicions to himself for the moment. The last thing he wanted to do was give the Hostile any indication that his plan had been discovered.

"Where's Kate?" James asked, bringing Radzinsky's attention back to him. "Son of a bitch, don't tell me she's in that god damn underwater shark tank?!"

"Okay, how the hell does he even know about that tank?" Radzinsky mumbled to himself. James had never been to the smaller island and the tank didn't show up on the security cameras here. A sudden commotion in the back of the van made Radzinsky grip the wheel tighter.

James was now trying to stand up, weaving all over the place, as Jin was trying to sit him back down. "What do ya' think you're doin' Mr. Miyagi?" James demanded, trying to shake off the feeling of dizziness.

"Sawyer, sit down. Kate isn't here right now and there is nothing you can do until you get some rest," Jin pleaded. James froze and stared at the Korean man, his eyes wide. Then his legs gave out and he slumped back in his seat.

"When did yer English get so good, Chewie? Ya' been takin' some lessons from Hurley, 'cause I already taught ya' everythin' ya' need ta' know. Or maybe Madame Butterfly's been doin' some teachin'. Hell, she is havin' your kid, after all."

Radzinsky burst out laughing. This conversation was getting ridiculous. _LaFleur probably has no idea what he's talking about_, Radzinsky reasoned with himself. Now he just wanted to play along and tease Jin. "Kwon, you got a secret lover we don't know about? Well it looks like someone's found out. And she's pregnant too? That's against the rules unless our leader gives permission. Oh I can't wait until Horace finds out about this..." he trailed off when he saw the murderous expression Jin was wearing.

"Just shut up Radzinsky!" he shouted furiously. And for once, Radzinsky did. _What the hell was that all about? _he wondered.

Jin glared at him for another moment before focusing back on James. "Sawyer, you have to listen to me," he begged. If James continued to talk he might start saying things about the future. And Jin didn't know how to explain that away. "There are no Others. We are driving back to the barracks right now. You're sick but we have not been captured by anyone."

James looked at Jin blankly, his eyes feverish and cloudy. Jin could see him struggling to comprehend what he'd just said but he couldn't wrap his mind around it.

"What the hell are ya' talkin' 'bout, Jin? If we ain't with the Others...then why is Sayid here?" he paused, struggling to continue talking. "I don't got time for this. We need ta' find Kate 'n...maybe the Doc... While we're here we could...find that son of a bitch Ben 'n...bring him back with us..." He groaned softly once more and then his eyes closed. His breathing grew ragged, as if every movement caused him great pain and shivers began to move up and down his frame.

"Are we there yet?" Jin demanded as he rubbed James' arms, trying to warm him up. But the blonde man protested, shifting away from the contact.

"Yeah, here we are," Radzinsky said, pulling up in front of the infirmary. He could see Horace's van already parked off to the side. "Come on, get him out of here," he shouted, unnerved by the nauseas expression on James' face.

Jin yanked open the side door and got out as fast as he could. Grabbing James by the arms, he pulled him to the ground as Sayid held his feet. As soon as James was standing, leaning against Jin while Sayid stepped out of the van, he bent forward and threw up all over the grass in front of him, nearly hitting Sayid in the process.

Radzinsky, who had gone inside to find Juliet and Horace, came back out with the two of them following closely behind. Juliet took one look at James crouching beside Jin, who was fighting to keep them both on their feet, and she ran forward.

"Oh my god. Someone get me a stretcher," she ordered, draping one of James' arms over her own shoulder. She and Jin supported him until Horace wheeled the Infirmary's only stretcher out onto the grass. He and Jin lifted James onto it, then they began pushing him back inside.

Juliet reached for James' hand, worried by how warm he felt. When their skin touched, he gasped in pain and opened his eyes. Juliet held him tightly as she stroked his forehead.

"Hold on, James. It's going to be okay. We're going to get you inside and then I'll figure out what's wrong," she promised fiercely, not letting go of his hand.

But he wrenched it out of her grasp with startling force. He tried to sit up, nearly tipping the stretcher over in the process. Juliet pushed him back down, thankful that he was weak enough to allow her to. Then James growled and shoved her away from him. Juliet stumbled backwards, trying to ignore the rush of hurt that filled her. What was James doing?

Horace stopped walking, bringing the stretcher to a halt. He gazed at Juliet as she blinked back tears. "What was that about?" he wondered aloud. Juliet shook her head, not trusting herself to speak.

James answered the question for them. "Get that tasering bitch away from me," he shouted loudly. Juliet inhaled deeply, surprised by the hatred dripping from his words. But she knew what he was talking about. The day she had zapped him, back on Hydra Island when she'd been working for Ben. They both knew she wasn't that same person anymore, she had proved that three years ago when she'd chosen to stay on the Island with James, so why was he bringing it up now?

Someone was trying to talk to her, but she couldn't hear them through the ringing in her ears. Was this how James truly felt about her? And these past three years had been nothing but a lie, every word and every touch? Juliet couldn't handle that kind of betrayal. Not again.

Suddenly a very familiar voice broke through her haze of sorrow. "He's hallucinating," came a nearby shout. Juliet whipped her head back and forth, trying to see where it had come from. Then she saw Jack running towards her. He was carrying something in his arms and as he came closer, Juliet realized it was Kate.

"What happened?" she demanded when he stopped next to her. The younger woman was shivering violently, even though she was wrapped in a blanket. Jack was holding her tightly to his chest, trying to share his own body heat.

"I don't know. But Kate acting the same way earlier," he said, indicating James who was now sitting up on the stretcher, shaking nearly as much as Kate.

"We need to get them both inside," Juliet suggested and Jack nodded in agreement. But when they turned back to the Infirmary, everyone was staring at the two of them with their mouths open.

Sayid and Jin were shaking their heads at how oblivious Juliet and Jack had been until that moment. They'd been lost in their own conversation, completely forgetting about everyone else. Horace and Radzinsky, on the other hand, were speechless. Who was this stranger that appeared out of nowhere and seemed perfectly comfortable around Juliet? How did she know him?

Radzinsky was the first to speak, seeing his opportunity to finally prove that Juliet and James were spies sent by the Hostiles.

"Okay, somebody better tell me what the hell is going on here."

* * *

What delusion should Kate have when she wakes up and sees Jack?

a) The airport scene where Kate accuses Jack of abandoning Aaron.

b) Kate tells Jack the story he told her when they first met (the walkie scene from _Not in Portland_).

c) "I have always been with you" in _The Little Prince _episode.

d) Any other ideas?

Up next: Jack and Kate have a lucid (on his part) discussion. And Juliet has some explaining to do! :)


	12. Not Without You

First of all, thank you for all the wonderful reviews. And this chapter is pretty much just the missing Jate scene from the previous part. I promise in the next few chapters things will start coming together. I just need to start writing them. For now, I hope you enjoy this Jack and Kate bonus chapter. :)

There is a poll at the end, for anyone who wants to give their opinion. And the song is _I'd Come For You _by Nickelback.

* * *

**Chapter 12: Not Without You**

_I'd come for you.  
__No one but you.  
__Yes, I'd come for you,  
__But only if you told me to.  
__I'd fight for you.  
__I'd lie, it's true.  
__Give my life for you.  
__You know I'd always come for you._

"Okay, somebody better tell me what the hell is going on here," Radzinsky demanded. Juliet stared at Jack, her eyes wild and panic etched into her features. Jack began to realize that racing out of the house with Kate in his arms had been a very bad idea, at the time it had seemed like the only option. But there was no going back now. They could only go forward...

_Forty minutes earlier._

Jack quietly pushed open the door to the bright yellow house. It was silent inside and he did his best not to wake up Kate, who was still sleeping on the couch. She was no longer stirring fitfully though, now she was out cold and completely motionless.

Suddenly Jack's stomach grumbled loudly, reminding him that he'd had nothing to eat this morning. His earlier headache forgotten, Jack realized just how hungry he was.

In the kitchen he searched through the cupboards, looking for some food. In the end he decided to make sandwiches, that way Sawyer and Juliet could have some as well when they came home. Jack knew Kate wouldn't want any, but he did pour her a glass of water. As a doctor he knew it was important for her to stay hydrated.

Just as he'd finished spreading mayo on the last slice of bread, he saw movement out of the corner of his eye. Whipping his head around to look, he noticed Kate sitting up and looking around.

Taking the cup and the plate of sandwiches into the front room, he sat down in a chair beside her and set the plate on the table. "Do you want something to eat?" he asked with concern, hoping maybe she would be hungry after all. He was getting more and more worried about her. Kate's face had grown redder while he'd been gone and now Jack was thankful he'd chosen to come back and check on her.

She didn't answer his question, instead glancing from side to side, searching for something. Jack frowned, wondering what she was looking for. "Kate," he said, trying to catch her attention. "Are you hungry or thirsty? You need to have something to drink, okay?"

At the sound of his voice, she turned her gaze towards him and a small smile crossed her lips. The relief in her feverish eyes made Jack realize she'd been searching for him. Slowly Kate stood up, placing a hand on the couch to steady herself as she swayed slightly. Then she reached for the pillow she'd previously been lying on, grabbing it and holding it in her arms as if she was carrying a child.

"Kate, what are you doing?" Jack asked. She stepped forward dizzily, nearly toppling into the table until Jack raced to catch her. "You need to lie down," he ordered as she stared up at him woozily.

She held the pillow tightly, stroking it gently. "I think we should say he's mine," she told him quietly, but her voice was steady.

Jack was completely thrown. Who was she talking about? "What?" he questioned gently, steering her back to the couch. But despite her disorientation from the fever, Kate resisted with a surprising amount of strength. She pushed away from him and backed up a few steps.

"We could...say that I was si – six months pregnant when I was arrested and that I...gave birth to him on the Island. No one would ever know." Her voice was wavering but she still managed to remain upright.

Jack, on the other hand, nearly sat down to put his head in his hands. What the hell did Kate mean? Arrested? And gave birth to whom? He has a sinking suspicion that she was talking about Aaron – Claire's son, as she'd explained earlier. But that was this morning, and Kate had been nearly as sick as then as she was now. How was he supposed to know if she'd even been telling the truth?

"Kate, I don't know what you're trying to say," he admitted. She shifted the pillow in her arms and Jack realized that she actually thought she was holding a baby. _She's having a hallucination, _he understood. _That means her fever must have gotten even higher. _If her body temperature was high enough to cause her to be delusional, Jack knew he had to get her to a hospital right away. She needed immediate medical attention.

"Come on," he said, taking her gently by the arm and directing her to the door. Kate wriggled out of his grasp, nearly losing her balance in the process. She backed into the couch and sat down heavily as her legs gave out beneath her.

"After everyone we've lost...Michael, Jin, Sawyer," she paused, blinking back tears. "I...can't lose him too." Kate indicated the pillow in her arms, and now Jack was certain she thought it was Aaron. But Jack himself was only becoming more and more confused.

"What do you mean? Jin and Sawyer are fine, we just saw them." But as he spoke, he was blinded by a bright flash and suddenly he wasn't staring at Kate or the pale yellow living room. All he could see was a boat floating on the water below him. Suddenly a loud blast ripped through the air as the ship exploded. Pieces of it went flying everywhere and Jack heard someone screaming at the top of their lungs behind him.

Then he blinked and the scene was gone. He was back in the quiet room with the friendly colours and was Kate sitting in front of him. "What the hell was that?" he shouted, his heart racing. But she didn't seem to hear him. She was shaking with sobs, trying not to show how upset she was. "Kate, Sawyer is fine. He's not dead!" Jack snapped at her, finding himself annoyed by the emotion she was expressing. And, though he would never admit it to himself, he felt slightly jealous at obvious pain she was in from the thought of losing Sawyer.

After a moment, Kate wiped her eyes and looked in his direction. She carefully avoided making eye contact and Jack knew she was afraid of what she would find in his expression. "No, but he's gone," she told him softly. "Goodnight, Jack."

"It's the middle of the afternoon and you've been sleeping for hours. At least have something to drink before you go back to sleep," he suggested, hoping that she was just dehydrated. Maybe if she had some liquids in her then her temperature would lower and the delusions would stop.

But now Kate gazed straight into his eyes and her next words were filled with a sense of conviction unlike anything he'd ever heard before. "I have _always _been with you," she told him. Then her shoulders sagged and she leaned forward, falling back asleep.

Jack scooped her up into his arms, taking advantage of the situation while she was unable to protest. He was dismayed to notice how much she was shivering but he didn't want her to get overheated either. Scanning the room for a lighter blanket, he pulled one off the back of a nearby chair. He draped it around Kate's trembling form and then walked out the door.

As he was standing on the porch, trying to decide which way to go, Kate jerked away frantically. "Jack? Jack!" she screamed loudly. People walking by stopped to stare at the scene she was making, thrashing and flailing in his grip. Not wanting to bring any more attention to himself, Jack quickly stepped back inside.

"Kate? What is it? What's wrong?" he demanded, knowing she was still delirious. He tilted her head upwards, forcing her to look at him. But this time she stared right through him, her eyes focused on some unknown object only she could see.

She held her hand up to her mouth, clasping tightly around the air as if she was holding something infinitely precious. "Where are you? Where are you?"

"I'm right here," Jack replied, trying in vain to catch her attention. "We have to get you to a hospital, Kate. So you need to stop screaming, okay?" When she made no acknowledgement that she'd heard him, he set her down gently and grasped her shoulders. Gazing deeply into her eyes, he repeated himself slowly. "Kate. You have to be quiet now." No reply. "Do you know where there's a medical office here on this island?"

Her cloudy eyes filling with pain, Kate shouted, "Yes!"

_Finally she's back to normal_, Jack thought, relieved. But she still needed help. "Good, where – " he began, but she cut him off.

"Yes, I remember!" she shouted and each word held unimaginable amounts of agony. Jack sighed, clearly she was still delusional. He pulled her into a hug and held her tightly to his chest, wishing he could make the pain go away.

"It's okay," he promised. "I'm here, it's all right." Her body slumped against his and he thought briefly that it was finally over. Then she quivered and straightened up.

"Jack, please," she begged, desperate. He was becoming frustrated beyond belief. There was nothing he could do to help her when he had no idea what was going on. She was talking about him, but he didn't know if it was a scene she was imagining in her mind or a memory he'd simply forgotten.

_Does that mean I believe her_? he asked himself. There was no straight yes or no answer to that question – some parts of her story felt so true that he couldn't not believe them. But other things were outrageously ridiculous, like the plane crash or coming back to that very same island.

"I can't leave without you," Kate told him, or rather, the Jack she imagined she was talking to. "Jack! I can't!" She was hysterical now, her body quacking so much from her intense emotions and her fever that Jack wished he had some anesthesia to knock her out. But he was stuck in this strange place with no medical supplies other than a bottle of Tylenol.

He'd never felt so helpless before in his entire life. Kate desperately needed his help and there was absolutely nothing he could do for her.

"I can't!" she shouted once more, her voice way past hysterical now.

"Kate, dammit," Jack found himself shouting back, though he didn't know what good it would do. "Run!" He froze. _What? _Why had he just said that? Where did he want her to run to?

She stood perfectly still in the middle of the living room, tears streaking down her cheeks. "Jack, are you there?" she asked, trying to keep the hurt from entering her voice. Jack was amazed at her determination to hide her sorrow, even though whatever hallucination she was experiencing must be exceptionally painful for her. He wished he knew what she was seeing, then maybe he could help her work through this.

But he had no idea what was going on, so he had to stand there and watch her suffer. "Dammit," he swore again, startling himself as his voice broke the silence that was only interrupted by Kate's quiet sobbing. "I am not just going let her go through this alone." Walking slowly so as not to alarm her, Jack reached out and pulled Kate into his arms, hugging her fiercely.

Then he steered her over to the couch and sat her down, stroking her hair lightly. His actions felt so natural and comforting that it unnerved him slightly.

She mumbled to herself as he continued to sit beside her. Suddenly her voice rose and she stared fiercely at the front door, blinking furiously as she tried not to sob any harder. But when she began to speak, Jack found himself mesmerized not only by her voice, shaky as it was, but her very words.

"You were doing surgery on a girl and you...messed up. You made a mistake. You...tore s – something in her back and all the nerves...came loose." _Like angel hair pasta_, Jack thought to himself. But then he quickly focused his attention back on Kate. She was continuing to speak, even though it was clear that she was fast running out of energy.

"And you said the fear was…was so real. And you di – didn't know what to do, so you...counted to five. And then...you weren't...afraid anymore. And then it was just...gone. And you...you fixed her. You...saved her." By the time she finished, her words were barely audible, but Jack knew what she was saying anyway.

How did she know that story? He'd never told anyone about it, except for Sarah. But Kate wasn't like Sarah at all. From the little he knew about the brunette, he was certain that the two were nothing alike.

For a moment Kate continued to mutter softly, then it was as if she just shut down. Her eyes closed and she slowly fell backwards, sagging against the back of the couch. Her breathing became heavier, sounding more like panting than the normal inhalation of air. She curled up into a ball against his side, mumbling complaints. It was difficult to hear what she was trying to say, but he strained his ears as much as possible to make out her jumbled words.

"Hurts...so...much," she moaned. Then she leaned over and threw up all over the floor. Jack jumped back in surprise, but his heart sank when he saw the flash of colour spreading along the rug. Bright red. Kate was vomiting blood.

He cursed to himself, knowing she desperately needed a hospital. But he had no idea where that was. "Hell, I'll find it somehow," he assured himself.

Before Jack left, he rummaged through the kitchen cupboards, searching for something to carry water with. Finally, he slung a canteen that had the same Dharma label that was on the poker chips over his shoulder. And, after forcing Kate to drink some of the water, he hoisted her small body – blankets and all – into his arms. Then he was out the door.

* * *

Racing through the rows and rows of houses, Jack was amazed he'd even found his way back to Sawyer's home in the first place. There were bright yellow buildings everywhere and, after only a few minutes, he was hopelessly lost.

"Everything looks the same!" he shouted. There was a group of young children nearby and they stared at him in fear. He'd been getting strange looks from everyone he passed by, but no one had stopped to offer some help. They all seemed terrified of him, running down the sidewalk with an unconscious woman in his arms.

It didn't help that Kate was continuing to cry out in pain every once in a while. And each time she did, Jack forced himself to slow down his hectic pace, worried that he was hurting her. He kept stopping, trying to make her drink more of the water, but after she threw it up all over him, the clear liquid tinted red with blood, he decided it was best to keep hurrying forward.

Finally he ran past the hammock where Amy was still dozing with her baby. Now she was holding Ethan in her arms contentedly, the two of them snoring softly.

He hated to wake to young mother, but he was desperate by now. "Amy," he said gently, shaking her shoulder. She stirred slightly and opened her eyes in confusion.

"Hmmm?" she sighed.

"Sorry to bother you, I just need to know if there is a hospital or doctor's office around here," he explained. Amy stared at him for a moment, then she gradually became more aware of the situation. Taking in Jack's panicked appearance, the blood on his jumpsuit and the woman in his arms, her eyes widened.

"What happened? Is that Kate?" she asked, remembering when the young woman came in to register yesterday. James had said she'd had a bad reaction to the sedative. Maybe it had gotten worse...

"Yes, it's Kate. I don't know what happened. She had a fever this morning and all of a sudden it got much worse. But it's really important that I get her to a place with medical equipment. I'm a doctor, but I can't do anything to help her if I don't find out what's causing this first," he explained, the words rushing out of his mouth before he could stop them. It probably wasn't a good idea to give away too much information, though it really didn't matter now.

"Didn't you find the maps I told you about? Oh well. Umm, just follow that sidewalk," she pointed to one on the opposite side of the hammock, "south until you see a big yellow building." Jack was puzzled. All of the buildings were yellow. How was he supposed to know which one was the hospital?

Amy sensed his confusion. "Sorry, that's not very helpful is it? Just look for the building with the big white porch and picnic benches in front of it. There should be a sign saying 'Infirmary' right above the door."

"Thanks," Jack said gratefully, turning away.

"Oh, and David," she called after him. It took Jack a moment to remember that was his fake name. Not wanting to seem rude, he stopped and glanced back at Amy. "You should get Juliet to help you. She's a doctor too," she told him, recalling how great Juliet had been when she'd helped deliver Ethan.

"Okay, thank you," he called after her. Then he was gone and Amy leaned back down, swaying Ethan gently from side to side.

* * *

Jack ran along the path as fast as he could without dropping Kate. Finally he spotted a large yellow building directly in front of him. It had a wide porch, just like Amy had said. He couldn't read the sign above the door from this distance, but he knew this was the Infirmary.

"Thank god," he exhaled slightly, breathing a sigh of relief. Then he noticed the commotion going on in front of the building. A bright blue van, like the one Jin had been driving that first day, was parked on the grass. Two people were hauling someone out of it, someone who looked suspiciously like Sawyer.

Whoever it was, they stopped and vomited on the grass, then another person came racing out of the Infirmary. They were wearing medical scrubs and had long blonde hair tied back in a ponytail. Jack knew at once that it was Juliet.

_What's she doing here? _he wondered. Maybe she'd raced out of the house earlier because there was a medical emergency. _It doesn't matter_, he reminded himself as Kate shifted in his arms. Her face was contorted in pain and Jack knew it was only getting worse.

But as he made his way closer to the building, he heard the person, definitely Sawyer, shout something about a "tasering bitch." Jack saw Juliet freeze and, though her back was to him, Jack could see how much that remark hurt her.

He didn't know what it meant, but the rest of the people standing nearby – including Jin and an Arabian man who looked very familiar – were as shocked as she was. And suddenly Jack understood what was happening. Whatever was making Kate sick was also affecting Sawyer.

Before Sawyer's delusions progressed to the severity of Kate's, Jack interrupted. "He's hallucinating," he shouted as he closed the distance between himself and the Infirmary.

Juliet wildly scanned the area, trying to see where the voice was coming from. Finally she turned her gaze to Jack and briefly he saw her smile, relieved that he was here. Then it was gone and she glared at him, trying to communicate something that Jack didn't understand.

He stopped when he reached her, still holding Kate tightly. His arms were starting to cramp from staying in one position for so long, but he ignored the feeling. There were more pressing matters to worry about.

"What happened?" Juliet asked, staring in shock at the state Kate was in. She had started to shiver and, although Jack was trying to keep her as warm as possible, he knew his efforts were not very effective. He held her more tightly against himself, wishing he could transfer his heat to her small frame.

"I don't know," he reluctantly admitted, hating how useless he felt. "But Kate was acting the same way earlier," he continued, nodding at Sawyer. The blonde man was sitting upright on the stretcher, and Jack could see he was shaking as much as Kate.

"We need to get them both inside," Juliet said after a moment. Jack agreed, continuing to make his way to the Infirmary. But then he noticed the looks on the faces of the people nearby. Two men that Jack didn't recognize had their mouths open in surprise. Jin and the other man, Jack had a feeling he was the Sayid who James and Miles had been talking about earlier, were shaking their heads.

Jack wondered if he'd done something wrong. He suddenly understood what Juliet had been trying to tell him earlier. He shouldn't be here, not while these people were nearby. He had no idea what was going on and he didn't care – all he wanted to do was get Kate inside.

But then a man with balding hair stepped forward defiantly and Jack could see from the glint in his eyes that he would be trouble.

"Okay, somebody better tell me what the hell is going on here."

* * *

I am a horrible, horrible person. I know and I'm sorry. But this is mainly a Jate story, so of course it needs a lot of Jate scenes! I hope you enjoyed it anyway. The next chapter will hopefully be done sometime next week.

Okay, now for the poll.

What delirious Suliet scenes would you like to see in the next chapter? (credit to **K. Palafox **for some of the ideas)

a) Sawyer proposing to Juliet.

b) The dock scene in _LaFleur _when Sawyer asks Juliet to stay.

c) Sawyer giving Juliet the sunflower. This could involve a delirious Sawyer trying to kiss a confused Juliet. ;)

d) Any other ideas?

Up next: Questions will be answered, and secrets revealed.


	13. The Truth, Part One

Thanks so much for the wonderful reviews. This chapter ended up being really long, so there will be two parts to it. And there is another poll at the bottom of this chapter.

I hope everyone had a great Easter. Enjoy. :)

* * *

**Chapter 13: The Truth, Part One**

_You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time._ ~ Abraham Lincoln

"Tell _you_? You're not the one giving orders here," Horace shouted at Radzinsky. The situation kept getting stranger and the absurdness was starting to take its toll. He found himself sinking into a very foul mood. "I'll handle this," he snarled in the direction of the balding man.

Then, turning to Juliet, he asked gently, "Juliet, do you know this guy?" Meaning the strange person who had come racing in with an unconscious woman in his arms.

There was no point in yelling and making accusations yet. Not without proof, which Radzinsky was trying to do. Horace wasn't that kind of leader; he ran things differently, which meant asking questions and hearing the entire story first.

Juliet stood up straighter, knowing her answer could make the difference between Horace believing her or taking her to Oldham and forcing the answers out of her. She barely repressed a shudder at that thought, but she kept the fear out of her eyes.

She turned to James, wishing he was coherent enough to handle the situation. Currently he was struggling against Jin, who was attempting to lie him back down on the stretcher. Clearly James wasn't in any position to help, and Jack had no idea what was going on, so it was up to her.

Horace was waiting for an answer and before Juliet could weigh the pros and cons of each answer like she normally would, she had to make a decision. She decided to go with the truth.

"Yes. I do."

Horace's heart sank at Juliet's answer. Her behavior certainly indicated she knew this mysterious stranger – Juliet didn't act friendly towards just anybody – but he was hoping he'd been wrong. Now he had to take action and he really didn't want to do that to Juliet.

_There has to be a reason. Something else going on here, _he reasoned with himself, knowing he was just coming up with excuses. But he'd been meaning to talk to Juliet and James about their strange behaviour these past few days. Now seemed like the perfect opportunity to do so.

Juliet watched the emotions play out across Horace's face. First surprise, then anger, sorrow and finally resignation. She'd gotten good at reading people after all the time she spent with Ben. He never said much, so she'd been forced to pay attention to his expressions. Now she was attuned to the slightest flicker of emotion on almost anyone. Thankfully Horace was a lot easier to read than Ben and right now Juliet knew he was debating his options, but not quite ready to take drastic measures yet.

She stepped forward, showing that she wasn't about to back down. "If you want to take me to see...him – " she was careful not to mention Oldham's name around Jack, trying to make Horace understand that she was still loyal to Dharma. His eyes tightened and Juliet was certain he knew who she was talking about – "then at least let me bring James and Kate inside first."

Out of the side of her vision, Juliet saw Jack was about to interrupt. She shook her head slightly and he kept silent. _Thank god he's actually listening to me for once_, she thought, relieved.

"Hell no!" That was Radzinsky. "How do we know he's not another Hostile and that the two of them haven't planned this entire situation. The last thing we need is both of them staying here and spying on us."

Horace wanted to object, but Radzinsky had a point. "He's right, Juliet. You have to tell us what's going on before I can let you go anywhere," he said gently, but Juliet heard the underlying firmness in his voice. She knew better than to argue with him, but she also knew that Kate needed immediate medical care and James was following down that same path.

"Please, just let me get them settled in and cooled down. Then I promise I will tell you everything." No one answered her. "Horace, please," she begged, looking directly into his eyes. "You've known me for three years and I've never done anything to hurt you. Any of you," she said pointedly, eying Radzinsky.

At that moment, there was a loud crash followed by Jin's panicked shout. Everyone turned to see James sprinting unsteadily down the lawn, racing away from the Infirmary.

"Shit," was all Juliet said before she took after him. "Jack, stay here!" she shouted behind her as she ran. Then she was out of sight, leaving a confused Jack behind to deal with the situation.

Horace stared at Juliet's retreating form until she could no longer be seen. Then he turned to the man Juliet had called 'Jack.' Now was the time to finally get some questions answered.

"Who are you?" he demanded, but Jack wasn't paying him any attention. He was staring tenderly at the unconscious woman in his arms – Kate, whom Amy had told him about meeting yesterday. And this morning James had said she wouldn't be coming in to work because she was sick. _Looks like she's gotten a lot worse_, he thought to himself.

"What's your name?" he asked, trying a different question and hoping Jack would answer since Juliet had already said his name. But he still didn't respond.

Then Kate began coughing violently and Horace saw blood stain her fingers as well as Jack's jumpsuit.

That was when Jack finally turned to Horace. "I need to get her inside," he said, not asking permission, just stating a fact. He strode forward, trying to get to the building as quickly as possible. But Horace reached out a hand to stop him.

"I'm sorry but I can't let you go in there until someone tells me what is going on," he said and he truly was sorry. This woman obviously needed help, but the safety of his people had to come first.

Jack's eyes flashed dangerously, he wasn't about to be stopped by some long-haired hippie in a jumpsuit. "That's great. When you find out what's happening, I'd love to know because I have no idea!" he shouted. "But right now, I have to get Kate cooled down before her fever gets worse. And if I can find out what's causing this, then I might be able to help Sawyer too!"

"Who is Sawyer?" Horace asked and Jack cursed to himself.

"Uh, LaFleur. He has such a weird last name that it's hard to remember," he lied. Horace eyed him suspiciously, not buying it, but Jack didn't say anything else.

"Why are you wearing his uniform?" Horace observed, looking past the blood stains and seeing 'LaFleur' stitched on the front.

"Because I was accidentally given his when I registered, okay. Now let me go," he said, shaking off the hand Horace still held clenched around his arm.

"Fine how about I bring Kate in to the doctor and you stay out here while we wait for Juliet to come back," Horace relented as Kate began to breathe heavily. The sound of her painful wheezing filled the air and he was starting to get worried.

But Jack wasn't about to give in so easily. "I'm a doctor and I'm not letting her out of my sight," he said stubbornly.

"See, they must both be Hostiles," Radzinsky exclaimed triumphantly. "They're working together, trying to make us let our guard down. But we have to – " he was cut off by Horace.

"Shut up, Radzinsky. Why don't you go take the _real _Hostile down to the cell and I'll deal with these two?" he suggested forcefully.

Radzinsky was about to argue, but Horace glared fiercely, nodding at the Hostile who was watching the entire situation intently. Suddenly Radzinsky understood that Horace didn't just want him out of the way. He wanted the Hostile locked up before the man could do any harm.

"Why can't Kwon take him?" he asked, the sound of his name making the Korean man turn to glare at him.

"Because you know how to handle a Hostile," Horace explained. "Jin has had less experience with them than you."

That wasn't quite true, but Radzinsky complied, pushing the Hostile forward with the butt of his rifle. "Fine, but I'll be back soon," he told them before walking away, back to the Security Office.

When he was out of sight, Horace looked at Jack, studying him intently for a moment. Then he sighed, shaking his head. _I'm probably going to regret this later, but..._

"Fine, go on in. Do whatever you need to do, but don't harm my people." Jack nodded and Horace got the feeling this man wasn't about to hurt anybody. He was all about saving.

_Still, I'm not taking any chances._ "Jin, you watch him, okay. And if either one of them does something suspicious, shoot them in the leg." James had taught him that move – it was always harder for someone to escape when they had a bullet in their leg.

Jack continued making his way to the Infirmary, oblivious to the threat, and his attention focused solely on Kate. Jin followed behind, but when Horace remained standing still, he turned back. "What about you?" the Korean asked.

"I'm going after James and Juliet. I'll be back soon, so keep things under control until then." Without another word, he set off down the sidewalk, following the path Juliet had taken. He had a feeling that she would need help brining James back.

* * *

Chasing James down the maze of sidewalks, Juliet was shocked that he could run so fast even when he was sick. Many people passing by gave her strange looks, but she barely noticed. All she was focused on was finding James.

Finally she lost sight of him. Cursing, she searched in vain for his very familiar form, but he was nowhere to be seen. She continued racing down the path she was already on, hoping to see a sign of his presence somewhere.

It took her a few minutes to realize that this particular sidewalk led straight to their house. _Maybe that's where James went_, she thought, her spirits soaring when she saw the front door was wide open. _He must be in there_.

Without stopping to think about how he would react to seeing her, the "tasering bitch" – she winced slightly, that name still hurt – she stepped inside.

She heard strange noises drifting down the hallway and she followed the sounds to the bedroom. She stopped when she saw James kneeling on the floor. Something about his posture made her feel like she was intruding, so she hid behind the doorframe and carefully angled her head so she could see what he was doing.

The bed was in the way, so she couldn't keep an eye on his hands, but suddenly she heard an odd scraping sound. James was moving something around on the floor. Suddenly he brought a small black box up to his line of vision. Juliet let out a small gasp, unable to stop herself.

James turned towards the sound, seeing Juliet quickly duck behind the door. He muttered angrily to himself, upset that he was being so obvious. But there was nothing he could do about it now. She'd seen the surprise.

"Come on out why don'tcha, darlin'?" he asked, resigned. There was a strong pounding sensation growing behind his eyes, but he pushed it away. This moment had to be perfect and he wasn't going to be the one to ruin it.

Juliet slowly made her way into the room, worried about James' sudden change in mood. Did he remember her now, the Juliet she really was and not the woman she had been pretending to be with the Others?

"What's that?" she asked, indicating the box. She had a sinking suspicion that she already knew, but she had to be sure.

When James unsteadily rose to one knee, her heart sunk. He wasn't going to do this right now, was he? How could he possible think today was a good time? She wondered if he was still hallucinating.

He opened the box to reveal a small ring with a single diamond in the center. It wasn't anything flashy or very expensive looking and she found herself drawn to it right away. As soon as she laid eyes on the beautiful object, she fell in love with it.

"Juliet, when I first met ya' I thought ya' were a cold-hearted bitch spawned from hell," he paused, frowning slightly at her unhappy expression. "Okay, maybe that wasn't such a good way ta' start this off. Hold on, give me a sec."

He struggled to put his tangled thoughts in order. Everything was going wrong, not the way he'd ever imagined this scene – which he'd thought of a hundred times, even before he bought the ring.

"Listen, Jules, I know when we first met we weren't the best o' friends. But ever since the day ya' said ya' had my back, before that really, I knew ya' weren't just another chick I would use 'n then throw away. No, when ya' said ya' had my back, ya' meant it. 'N ya've been true ta' yer word. Hell, I don't know I got so lucky as ta' have a woman like you, but ya' mean everythin' ta' me. The day ya' told me ya' would stay on this goddamn Island with me, I started ta' fall for ya'. 'N now here we are, three years later, in love 'n livin' together. We look after each other, just like we said we would, 'n I know ya' care 'bout me the way I care 'bout you. So I don't see no reason why I shouldn't do this."

He shifted slightly, leaning so much that he almost tipped right over. "Anyway, will ya' marry me, Juliet? I love ya' more than anythin' else in this entire world, I know it sounds cheesy but it's the truth. I wanna spend the rest o' my life with ya'. So whaddya say, Jules?"

He looked up at her, his blue eyes filled with hope, an expression she had never seen so clearly on his face before. She began to cry softly, and she hated herself for what she was about to do.

"I'm sorry, James. But I can't, not right now. Not like this." He stared at her, uncomprehending. Then he realized she was being serious and a spark of anger lit up his eyes.

"What the hell do ya' mean, not right now?" he demanded, rising to his feet. He tripped on a loose floorboard and tumbled forwards. Juliet put her arms out to catch him, but James just brought her down with him.

They both collapsed on the floor, James lying on top. Juliet gasped, finding it hard to breathe underneath him. "Get...off...me..." she managed to wheeze out.

He complied swiftly, rolling off her and backing into the corner of the room. Once he reached his destination, as far away from her as possible in the small room, he proceeded to glare at her furiously. Juliet sighed, wishing they didn't have to have this conversation right now.

"James," she began, standing up slowly after catching her breath. Placing a hand on his shoulder, she was surprised when he shrank away from the contact. "Oh, don't be so immature!" she shouted, angry now.

"Don't come any closer, god dammit," he ordered fiercely. "Take one more step Blondie 'n I'm gonna have ta' stop ya'. I ain't got no respect for any woman who drugs me 'n then takes me ta' the Mystery Room on goddamn Mystery Island!"

Juliet was confused. Was James having a different hallucination or the same one as before? His mood kept changing so rapidly that she couldn't keep up. "James..." she began, wishing she could calm him down before every single person in Dharmaville heard their conversation.

"Don't call me James! Now just back away 'n let me leave in peace. How does that sound?" He kept trying to push her out of the way and was using his weight advantage against her. Juliet didn't quite know how to handle him. Back when she'd once needed to defend herself, she'd always had a gun or some other sort of weapon to keep him and his friends under control.

Now she felt defenseless. _Maybe it's better that way, _she realized. After all, she didn't want to be that woman anymore. _But I just wish I had something to knock him out with..._

"Didn't ya' hear me?" James continued, stepping closer and staring down at her in anger. Juliet stood her ground. She'd never backed down when threatened before and James wasn't going to make her change her ways now.

But the truth was she felt so unnerved by his change in attitude. In the three years they'd spent together, she'd never seen him get this upset. At least, not at her. And they'd both been trying to forget the way they'd acted towards each other before the time flashes begun.

Now all of those memories came flooding back, not really forgotten, simply stored at the back of her mind. She remembered how she'd dealt with James before. And as much as she wanted to try a different approach this time, he wouldn't let her.

So she did the one thing she knew how to do best. Juliet shut down, turning off all her emotions, not letting him see how much this hurt. And then she walked in front of the door, casually crossing her arms in front of her chest to show how uninterested she was by his tough guy act.

"Hey, whaddya think you're doin'?" he growled, taking in her unexpected actions.

"You are not going anywhere until you calm down, James," she told him cooly, no hint of pain or anger in her voice. She was impressed that she could still act this way, after not needing to use this tactic for three years.

"Who the hell do ya' think ya' are woman? My mother?" They both realized what he'd said, but Juliet didn't comment and neither did he. Even though they both knew his mother was dead.

"What good is leaving going to do?" she wondered. "Kate and Jack aren't even here. They're somewhere you'll never find them. So I suggest you just sit down and think about this for a while, okay? And even if you do plan to escape, what is it that you think you're going back to? Everyone you care about is right here." She meant right here in this room and all their friends in Dharmaville, but she knew he would be thinking about Kate.

"Where the hell didja put Freckles?" he demanded. "What do ya' want with us anyway? 'N how do ya' think you're gonna stop me? Ya' gonna taser me again?"

Before Juliet could come up with a decent response, the door opened behind her. Horace stuck his head in, observing the current situation. "What is going on he – " he began to ask. Suddenly James burst into action, shoving Juliet out of the way and slamming the door open. Horace jumped back in surprise as he raced out of the room, down the hall and out the front door.

"I heard shouting coming from your house and I wanted to make sure you were alright..." he trailed off when he saw Juliet lying in a heap on the floor.

"Why didn't you stop him?" she demanded, picking herself up. Horace didn't answer, he just stood there dumbfounded. "Go after him!" she shouted, racing into the bathroom.

Horace heard her rummaging through the cupboards and he wondered what she was searching for. Finally she emerged with a tall bottle in one hand and a rag in the other. Catching sight of him still standing there, she frowned.

"Why are you still here? We need to find James before he causes any trouble," she told him.

"I don't take orders from you," he said coldly, "especially when I have no idea what's going on."

"Listen to me, Horace! I told you I would explain everything and I will. But first we have to bring James back to the Infirmary. Please help me do that," she begged, knowing there was no way she'd be able to bring him back by herself. Especially not with what she planned to do. "fI don't want him to get hurt," she said softly, showing for a moment how terrified she felt.

Horace wasn't so coldhearted that he was about to let Juliet try to drag James back all by herself. And the man was his friend too, so the least he could do was help her look. "Fine, let's go." Then he paused, glancing at the objects she held in her hands. "But what are you planning to do?" he asked, indicating the bottle.

"It's chloroform," she explained. When she and James first started settling down in Dharmaville, it had seemed too good to be true, so Juliet always made sure she had some way to escape if necessary. For many nights she'd lain awake, wondering what she would do if the Others or the freighter people came back. Finally she came up with a solution – she'd taken the bottle from the Infirmary three years ago and no one had ever noticed.

Ignoring Horace's nervous expression, she headed out the door, trusting he would follow behind.

* * *

Even though James had a few minutes head start, Juliet soon caught sight of him running past the Registration Office. She worried he'd go right past the security fence, but he was starting to slow down and soon she was able to catch up with him.

"James!" she shouted. "Please stop!" He glanced back at the sight of her voice, then swore loudly.

"Son of a bitch! Can't you just leave me alone, woman?" he tried to speed up but his energy was draining fast. Juliet was close enough to touch him now, so she reached out. With the rag still in her hand she grabbed his arm, pulling them both to a stop.

"You're sick, you need to get help. Come with me to the Infirmary and then I promise I will let you go once you're better," she pleaded. Judging from the way Kate had been complaining earlier, she knew he must be in a lot of pain. _And he's doing a damn good job of hiding it, _she thought.

"Since when did you people start keepin' yer promises?" James asked scathingly.

Juliet knew there was no way he would come with her willingly, but she needed him to hold still long enough for the chloroform to take effect. _Where is Horace?_

Finally the older man ran over, gasping slightly. "I haven't run this much in years," he panted. Then he noticed Juliet had her arms clasped around James, trying to stop him from getting away. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"Help," Juliet managed to say, struggling to maintain her hold on James. "Grab that bottle and pour a little bit onto the rag." Horace glanced around, finally seeing the bottle on the ground behind her.

He followed her instructions, sprinkling a small amount onto the rag. "Now what?"

"Hold it up to his mouth," she told him. "And keep it there until he passes out."

James twisted violently, alarmed at the conversation going on behind him. "Wait, do what? Ya' ain't gettin' nowhere near me!" he shouted, squirming against Juliet's tight grip.

Horace shot her a disbelieving look, but he could see she was serious. And she was more of a doctor than he was, so he had to trust her judgment.

He walked slowly up to James, trying not to alarm him. "Calm down, Jim. If you stop trying to escape then we won't have to do this to you." He tried to be assuring, but his tone just made James fight even more.

"Who the hell are you? How many goddamn Others are there?" Horace looked at Juliet questioningly, wondering what an 'Other' was. She just shook her head, so he ignored James' comment for the moment. Horace continued advancing towards him, holding the rag out so he could reach James' mouth.

At the sight of the soaked piece of cloth, James cursed loudly and Juliet knew there must be a lot of people staring at them right now. She wished Horace would hurry up so they could get James out of here.

"Get the hell away from me! I swear ta' god, if ya' come one step closer I'm gonna do..._this_!" he shouted triumphantly as he kicked out at Horace. But he missed and instead ended up losing his center of balance, nearly tumbling to the ground.

Juliet strained to keep them both upright and, in James' moment of weakness, Horace shoved the rag against his mouth. James thrashed wildly, trying to get free. Even in his poor mental state, he wasn't giving up easily.

_Fear and anger does that to people_, Juliet realized. _It doesn't matter if they're hallucinating or not._

But after a few more seconds, his struggles slowly became feebler, until he wasn't moving at all. "Thank god," Juliet sighed in relief, lowering his unconscious form to the ground. "Now we just need to get him back to the Infirmary."

She sat down on the grass, resting for a moment before picking up his legs. "Will you help me carry him?" Juliet asked Horace.

He was staring at her with his mouth wide open. She'd just forced him to knock James unconscious and she wasn't even fazed by it. And truth be told, the cold and calculating side of her that he'd just seen frightened him.

But no matter how intimidating she seemed at the moment, he was the leader and it was his responsibility to know what was going on around here. "Juliet, I know you and James are keeping something from the rest of us. Ever since the first day when Amy brought you guys back here, I sensed there was something different about all of you. And I've ignored that feeling for three years because you've meant no harm to us. But now things are changing and I have to know why."

He sat beside her, waiting for her to set James' legs down. She did and, after considering her options, she realized she would have to tell him something.

"Do we have to talk about this here though?" she asked, wanting to have the discussion somewhere more private. There were a few people still passing by who looked at them strangely, and she didn't need anyone else hearing what she had to say.

"Nope. Nice try but you are explaining this to me right now." She sighed, there was no persuading Horace when he had his mind set on something.

"This is not the kind of story I can tell you out here in the open. All I can say right now is that we lied about how we got here. There was no boat crash, we weren't looking for the Black Rock – although I know for a fact it is somewhere on this Island," she'd lowered her voice as much as possible without making it impossible for Horace to hear her. But she still looked around suspiciously, wanting to make sure no one else was listening.

His eyes widened in surprise, he definitely hadn't been expecting that. "So where _did _you come from?" he asked, almost afraid of the answer. He had a sinking feeling that he knew what she was going to say. And he was right when she said the words he'd been dreading.

"We were already here."

* * *

I'm sorry for the lack of Jate in this chapter, but you can count on at least one entertaining Jate scene next time. And now onto the poll.

How should Juliet convince Horace that she's telling the truth?

a) Say she knows about the Orchid.

b) Tell him about the Purge.

c) Provide information about the Hostiles. This could include her bringing Richard in to prove that he met her many years ago.

d) Take him to the Black Rock.

e) Any other ideas?


	14. The Truth, Part Two

Sorry this chapter took so long to update, I've been working on a lot of other fics as well. And it seems there will be a third part to The Truth, because Juliet has yet to fully explain everything to Horace. In the meantime, here's the Jate scene I promised you. Enjoy! :)

The song is _Sweet Dreams _by Beyoncé, because it was stuck in my head when I posted this.

And I'm sorry about all the mistakes in this chapter, but I've fixed them now.

* * *

**Chapter 14: The Truth, Part Two**

_Every night I rush to my bed,_  
_With hopes that maybe I'll get a chance to see you._  
_When I close my eyes I'm going out of my head,_  
_Lost in a fairytale, can you hold my hands and be my guide?_

_Clouds filled with stars cover the skies._  
_And I hope it rains, you're the perfect lullaby._  
_What kinda dream is this?_

_You could be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare,_  
_Either way I don't wanna wake up from you._

_I wish that when I wake up you're there,_  
_To wrap your arms around me for real  
And tell me you'll stay by my side._

Carrying Kate into the Infirmary, Jack was dismayed to see how outdated the medical equipment was. Everything looked like it was from the seventies and he hoped he wouldn't need to use much of it. Kate began to squirm in his arms, muttering about the light so he set her down gently on one of the beds. Tilting some water from the canteen into her mouth, she fought him weakly, not wanting to swallow anything.

"Come on, Kate. You have to stay hydrated," he coaxed.

Finally she gave in, gulping the liquid down. When she was finished, she rolled onto her side and curled up in a ball, shivering slightly. Jack noticed how tightly she shut her eyes, as if the light was bothering her. Putting a hand against her forehead, he was alarmed at how much warmer she felt.

He gazed around the room, looking for some way to cool her off. He saw a young woman wearing white scrubs and standing as far away from him as possible. She seemed nervous, like he was about to jump up and attack at any second. Jack didn't understand why everyone was so scared of him, something he was trying not to dwell on too much.

There was an older man slouching in the corner, eying him suspiciously as well. He had a white lab coat on and Jack knew he was the doctor here at the Infirmary.

"Where are the ice packs?" Jack demanded, then he cursed himself for sounding so unfriendly. The last thing he needed was to everyone dislike him even more.

The doctor frowned at Jack's request and walked out of the room, but he came back a few minutes later with an armful of ice packs, glaring as he handed them over.

As Jack rolled Kate onto her back and began placing them around her neck he heard the Infirmary door slam shut. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Jin walk in. Too worried to say anything, Jack continued his desperate attempts to cool Kate down. He shoved some of the packs underneath her armpits and against her thighs, though he could tell his efforts weren't going to work fast enough.

Kate moaned so weak she could barely move as she tried to push to cold objects away.

"I'm going to need a bucket of ice and a bathtub," Jack announced, quickly coming up with a plan. But this time the Infirmary doctor didn't answer, staring straight ahead as if he wasn't there.

Jack could see these people weren't going to be very cooperative; clearly thinking they'd already helped enough. It angered him that even though a woman was lying sick in their very own hospital, no one wanted to help.

In desperation he turned to Jin, hoping the man had some kind of authority over the medical staff. "She has to get cooled down before her fever gets any higher," he said, nearly begging. "These ice packs aren't going to work – they're already melting for god's sake. And if Kate keeps getting hotter, there's a very good possibility that she'll die."

It had never been in his nature to sugar coat a situation, but the stricken look on his friend's face made Jack wish he'd been a bit kinder. That was the truth though and as a doctor he'd committed himself to always telling the truth.

"I don't know where the ice is," Jin stated, clearly torn. His hand twitched towards the rifle slung across his back. With a flash of startling clarity, Jack understood the man's dilemma. Helping Jack would make Jin an outcast among his own people, no longer trusted by anyone.

Even though he didn't know Jin very well, the man had been nothing but kind towards him and Jack wasn't about to repay him by destroying whatever life he had here, meaning he had to take action himself.

_Well here goes nothing, _he thought as he started walking towards the doctor, slowly but filling each step with menace. Jack grabbed the man by his lab coat – which had the name 'Ted' stitched on it – and slammed him against the wall.

"Where. Is. The. Ice?" he demanded. Ted gulped while his eyes widened in fear.

"There's a – a freezer over there," he admitted, pointing to the opposite corner of the room. Jack released him and the man darted out of his reach. "Kwon! Aren't you going to stop him?" Ted shouted at Jin who shook his head.

"Horace told me that Jack is going to help Kate. He's a doctor, so if he says she needs more ice..."

Ted sighed but didn't argue further, giving Jack the feeling Horace had a lot of power over these people. _Thank god he's on my side...for the moment, _he thought.

Snatching a nearby pail, Jack grabbed ice packs from the mini freezer. He ripped them open, pouring the ice into the bucket.

"Where's the bathroom?" he asked, praying there would be a tub inside. Jack followed Jin's directions to a door in the hallway.

Seeing the small bathtub in the corner, he sighed in relief. Cold water began filling it as he turned on the tap. After waiting a moment he poured the bucket of ice in as well, grimacing as his hand hit the water. It was freezing.

As much as he hated to do this to Kate, it was necessary. Jack left the water running and went to get her. Bringing her to the bathroom, he began a silent debate in his head. Would the ice bath work faster with her clothes on or off?

He could feel his face growing red as he thought about undressing a woman he barely knew. How would she react when she found out what he'd done? But if he'd been in a relationship with Kate at some point, enough that he'd proposed to her like she'd told him, it probably wouldn't be too uncomfortable for her...he hoped.

Shutting the door behind him, Jack propped Kate up against the toilet seat, pulling off her jeans. She squirmed but didn't fight him, continuing to sleep soundly. Jack was partially glad she wasn't awake for this but he also wished she knew what he was doing. That way he wouldn't feel like he was violating her privacy.

Trying to stare at her as little as possible he struggled to take off her shirt as he fought with her limp arms. Finally she was stripped down to her underclothes and shivering against the cold tiled floor. Her face was still beat red so he was certain her fever hadn't gone down at all.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, raising her to her feet. Kate sagged against him and he held her tightly. He began lifting her up and lowering her into the freezing tub, not giving her a chance to protest.

As soon as her feet touched the water, she jerked awake. Staring at him with fever bright eyes, Kate tried to figure out what was happening. Jack continued to sink her body down into the cold water, hoping she wouldn't put up too much of a fight.

That was when she started to scream. Her shrieks nearly made Jack drop her in surprise but he held on. Even as her arms and legs flailed violently – sending waves of water up into the air, soaking them both – he didn't let go.

"What are you doing? Where are my clothes?" she demanded, noticing her lack of attire.

Jack didn't reply, couldn't even begin to explain, so he apologized instead. "I'm sorry, Kate. Please, you have to cool down and this is the only way." As he spoke she paused her frantic screeching, looking up at him with eyes shining of betrayal.

Jack's heart nearly broke but he steeled his resolve and didn't relax his grip on her. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he continued to whisper, still lowering her down into the icy liquid.

Now she was submerged up to her thighs and her shakes were becoming stronger. She started crying out again, the sound punctuated by the constant chattering of her teeth.

"Almost there, just a bit more," he coaxed gently. Some part of her, the part that wasn't being driven insane by the cold and the fever, must have heard him because she slowly began to quiet down.

Eventually Kate stopped struggling so much, allowing him to place her further down in the tub. But just once she was waist deep in the water she gasped, clutching Jack's jumpsuit tightly. He fought to maintain his balance but ended up toppling in after her.

The icy water stung his skin and he felt it clearly through his many layers of clothing. He couldn't even imagine how cold Kate must be. That was when Jack realized he'd fallen on top of her and he quickly shifted out of the way.

By now the tub was overflowing – water was spilling out onto the floor – but Jack made no move to get out. Instead he helped Kate get settled, pulling her close and leaning her head against his chest. He tried to touch her as little as possible, knowing that unnecessary contact would defeat the purpose of the bath.

It was his own fault she was going through this, but Jack hoped staying with Kate for a few minutes would help her adjust to the cool temperature more easily.

Soon she did relax against him, the shivers lessening as she closed her eyes and sighed quietly.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, wondering if she would be lucid enough to answer.

"M – my eyes...so bri – bright..." she complained amidst her chattering teeth. Jack understood, he reached over to the towel rack behind his head and pulled down a washcloth. Draping the soft material over her eyes, he listened as she mumbled her thanks.

"Is there anything else, Kate? Are you still feeling dizzy? Or are you thirsty?"

She shook her head slightly. "It ju – just...hurts."

"Where?" he asked, wishing he could do something to ease her pain.

"Everywhere," she stated simply.

"Do you mind if I try something?" he asked, an idea coming to him. Without waiting for an answer he began rubbing his hands along her shoulders.

Kate moaned in pleasure as Jack continued expertly massaging her back and neck. It was something he'd done for Sarah all the time when they were married, though his ex-wife's reactions had been nothing compared to Kate's. She melted against him, her shivers finally stopping as she became completely relaxed.

"How's that feel?" Jack asked, continuing to move his fingers up and down her back.

"Mmmm," she breathed. "Feels nice." Jack smiled and ran his fingers down her arms softly. She trembled in delight, the moment feeling so intimate that Jack wished he never had to get out of the tub.

But now that Kate wasn't shaking so violently he knew it was time to leave. He leaned down to kiss her forehead, gently detaching himself from her. He folded up a towel propped it against the side of the tub so she would have something to lean on when he left.

"Don't...go," she pleaded, her voice barely above a whisper. Jack found himself being drawn back down to her side. No matter how much as he wanted to stay, as a doctor he understood how important it was that she cool down quickly. That meant he needed to leave her alone and let her rest in the tub for a few minutes.

So he gently pushed the damp hair back from her forehead and stepped out of the bathtub. "I'll be right here," he told her. Jack wasn't about to let Kate fall asleep and drown, he would never forgive himself if she died because of him.

As he moved to sit down on the wet floor, his foot slipped and he fell with a thud. He chuckled to himself once he'd regained his breath. "Nope, I'm not going anywhere, Kate," he said, leaning against the side of the tub.

Suddenly Jin and the nurse came bursting in. They caught sight of the soaking wet floor and Kate's clothes piled in a heap. Seeing Jack peacefully resting against the tub made Jin's eyes widen in surprise. "What are you doing?" he asked suspiciously.

Jack knew he was blushing furiously and he tried to stay calm and do his best to explain. "Ummm, Kate needed to have the ice directly exposed to her skin as much as possible, so..." he gestured at the pile of clothes on the floor.

Jin didn't look like he believed him, but he didn't say anything. He simply walked out of the cramped room, pushing the nurse out and closing the door behind them both.

Jack remained sitting on the wet floor, staring at Kate's discarded clothes while trying to fight down the surge of emotions threatening to overwhelm him. Being alone like this with her was like nothing he'd ever felt before. He didn't know why and that scared the hell out of him.

But he liked feeling this way, he hadn't been so needed by one person in such a long time. Ever since Sarah, Jack thought he would never be able to love again. Now he found himself falling hard for Kate, he just hoped she wouldn't break his heart like Sarah had.

_I guess there's only one way to find out_, he thought to himself as Kate breathed deeply above him. Her silence was calming, soon Jack hoisted himself up against the side of the tub. He took a towel down from the shelf, attempting to mop up the floor though really just searching for an excuse to watch her. Even though she was clearly still sick, her face wasn't as flushed as it had been before. The ice bath was definitely working and now Jack just had to figure out what was wrong with her.

Through his many years as a doctor, he had learned how important it was to have a cause before finding the solution. Glancing over at Kate, Jack knew he would do all he could to figure out what had done this to her.

As if sensing his thoughts, she weakly lifted her arm out of the tub and grasped at the air, searching for him. He abandoned his attempts to mop up the puddles of water, instead sitting down on the toilet and taking her hand in his. He squeezed tightly, letting her know he was there for her.

"Jack..." she whispered. "Thank you."

In that moment, he was so tempted to lean down and press his lips against hers. He fought against the feeling, knowing it wasn't the right time. But he did continue holding Kate's hand, the simple contact making him feel more alive than he had in years.

"No, thank you, Kate," he told her and she smiled slightly. "Now just rest for a bit. You only have to stay in there a few more minutes." Even though Jack wished he could stay by her side forever.

* * *

Horace didn't know how to respond. He could only stare at Juliet furiously. "What do you mean you were already here?" There was only one explanation he could think of and it made him sick to his stomach.

"Horace," Juliet began hesitantly. "It's not what you think."

"Oh? What is it then? You mean you aren't really working for the Hostiles and haven't been lying to us for the past three years?" Juliet was about to interrupt but he cut her off. "We trusted you, _I _trusted you. All of you. And you let us down. What am I supposed to tell Amy? That the woman who delivered her baby only did so because she was pretending to care?"

Juliet gasped, standing up in anger. "You and I both know that's not true! I care about Amy as if she was my own sister. So don't you ever say that again!"

She stood glaring down at him, not sure what to do next until James began mumbling to himself. He let out a low moan as Juliet dropped down beside him. She cupped his face in her hands, frowning at how hot he felt. His eyes opened for a minute when her cool hands touched his skin.

"James. Do you know who I am?" Juliet asked tenderly, though she was ready to back away if he started to show any signs of violence.

He swallowed thickly and looked up at her through heavy lidded eyes. "Yeah... Howdy Blondie." He started to say something else, but his voice sank to nothing more than a whisper and his eyes rolled back in his head.

"James?" Juliet shook his head back and forth, slapping his cheek gently as she tried to wake him up. When he didn't move she turned to Horace. "We have to get him back to the Infirmary," she said.

He looked at her in disbelief. "What makes you think I'm going to let you get anywhere near my people now?"

"For god's sake, Horace. They're my people too. I've lived with you for three years. _Three years_ and I've never once tried to hurt you. But James is dehydrated, his fever is getting worse and I don't know what's wrong with him." She struggled to regain herself though her voice was breaking.

_Don't start crying now. Not in front of Horace. _After a moment, she continued. "If he doesn't get help soon, he _will _die. And trust me, that is not something you want on your conscience." She stopped talking and tried to catch her breath. Why was she telling him this?

Horace was staring at her as if she was an entirely different person, one he'd never seen before. _I guess I am_, Juliet realized sadly. For all of the years she'd been living with the Dharma Initiative, none of them knew the real her. Except for James, of course.

"Please, Horace. You have to trust m – "

"Trust you? I did trust you three years ago when you came here saying your ship had just crashed. And look where that got me." His expression turned to one of sorrow and Juliet began to wish she'd never told him anything. But it was too late now.

"We are not Hostiles, Horace. We've never wanted to hurt any of you. We just needed a place to stay while we waited for our friends to come back – that part was true. And when we didn't find them, we started settling down here. You didn't have a problem with that three years ago and nothing has changed since then, except now some of our friends have come home."

Horace scratched his head, thinking about Juliet's words. "Jack is one of your people?" he finally asked.

Juliet nodded. "Kate and Hurley too."

"Hurley? As in the chef guy? My god, how many more of you are there?" he asked skeptically. This was all too ridiculous to believe.

"That's everyone, oh except for Sayid." Horace frowned, puzzled at her answer. "The 'Hostile' Radzinsky and Jin found by the Flame. He's with us."

Horace's shoulders slumped at her words. "Dammit. How am I supposed to explain this to Radzinsky? There's no way he's just going to let a Hostile go free."

Juliet's heart leapt. Did that mean he believed her? "Can we figure that out later?" she asked, indicating James' prone body resting on the sidewalk.

Horace nodded, standing up to grab his unconscious friend's shoulders. "Okay. This doesn't mean I think you're telling the truth. But either you're a really good liar or there is still much more to this story. And you will tell me the rest later. We aren't finished with this conversation," he ordered. "It won't do any good though if Jim gets worse before he can help you explain."

Juliet breathed a silent exhale of relief. "Thank you, let's go."

* * *

Bringing James back to the Infirmary was no easy task, especially since he refused to stay still. More than once Juliet and Horace had to stop and wait for him to calm his restless movements.

Eventually they made it in the door of the medical center, laying James down on a bed. Juliet scanned the room for Jack but she didn't see him, or anyone else for that matter. She didn't get a chance to find them before James started to roll off the bed.

"What are you doing?" she asked, catching him before he could fall.

He shivered slightly and forced his eyes to open. "Let go a' me, Freckles," he growled at her. "Ya' don't wanna get involved with a guy like me..."

Juliet fought to remain calm. He actually thought she was Kate. Briefly the temptation to slap him until he woke up from this delusion was so strong that she had to clasp her hands together tightly.

"I'm nothing like Kate," she told herself, wanting to believe it was true.

That was when James reached up and grabbed her around the neck, choking her. Juliet couldn't scream, she had no air left. She fought against him, pushing as hard as she could, though he still didn't let her go.

Suddenly Horace was there, pulling James' hands off. As soon as she was free Juliet shrank away from the bed, breathing heavily. "Thanks," she gasped, nodding at her rescuer.

"What was that about?" he wondered, staring at James a bit fearfully. Receiving no answer from either James – who'd fallen back into a fitful sleep – or Juliet, Horace finally noticed the empty room. "Where is everybody?"

Just then, Jin and a doctor came storming down the hall. They were having a heated argument, not noticing Horace and Juliet.

"We shouldn't have left him alone in there with her," the doctor, Ted, was saying. "Shelly said there was water all over the floor. God knows what he could've done in there..."

Jin shook his head. "Jack said that's what needed to be done to cool her down. He is a doctor too."

Ted grunted. "And you believe him? You trust that stranger more than me?"

Jin didn't hesitate. "Yes."

Juliet decided it was time to reveal her presence before Ted could retaliate. She coughed softly and both men whirled to face her. They both wore similar expressions of guilt, as if they'd been caught doing something wrong.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"Jack is giving Kate an ice bath," Jin explained. Horace turned to stare at Juliet and she could see the question in his eyes. _What kind of 'friends' are they? _

She shook her head. 'Not now,' she mouthed at him and he relented. She was reminded of James lying unconscious behind her when he began writhing back and forth. Eying the bed, an idea came to her. She couldn't help the wicked smile that crept onto her face as she turned to Ted. "Do you have any restraints here?" she asked innocently.

His jaw dropped open though he didn't ask why. He simply rummaged around in the cupboards, emerging with a pair of ancient-looking leather cuffs and handing them to her silently.

"We have to take off his jumpsuit first so he can cool down," she said, looking straight at Horace. He nodded, willing to provide his assistance.

Juliet warily approached James, still keeping out of his reach. Horace caught on to what she was doing and snuck around the other side of the bed. When James slowly angled his body to watch the older man's movements, Juliet saw her chance.

She pounced, leaping on top of him to limit his range of movement. James grunted against her weight. "What the hell are ya' doin'? Tryin' ta' undress me?" he demanded as she began unbuttoning his jumpsuit. "Whoa, I didn't mean it. Get yer hands off'a' me!" He starting thrashing beneath her, trying to flip her off him.

"Horace!" Juliet shouted desperately, tugging on one of James' sleeves. Horace pinned down his arms so she could pull the top of his jumpsuit off. Successful, Juliet immediately strapped James' wrists into the cuffs, locking the other ends against the bedrails. As soon as that was done she rolled off him, knowing her actions were doing nothing to help his fever.

She and Horace began working on the bottom half of the jumpsuit next. First taking off his boots and working their way up, the two finally managed to pull off his sweat-soaked outfit, leaving James clad in his boxers and an undershirt.

As his legs continued to flail around on the bed, scrunching up the sheets, Juliet didn't even have to ask before Ted handed her another pair of restraints. It took longer to get his legs clipped in, though with a team effort they eventually succeeded. James passed out after that, exhausted from his exertion of energy.

Juliet tried getting him to drink some water and when he refused she hooked him to a dextrose IV line. Now that she didn't have to worry about his dehydration, she began to focus her efforts on cooling him down.

First came the damp washcloth she placed over his eyes since he'd started to complain about the light. Then the ice packs – there were very few in the freezer and she took them all, stuffing them around James' neck and armpits. She could feel herself beginning to blush as she attempted to slide a few bags down his boxers.

Horace was smirking in the corner, watching Juliet wrestle with her own emotions while she shoved her hand down his pants. She knew what she was doing, he'd give her that much, but it was still amusing to see her struggle. He was tempted to help her, though after what she'd told him – and what she had yet to explain – he wasn't sure if he could ever trust her again.

Finally Juliet placed the ice packs in the right spot. Just as she was about to remove her hand, Jack walked out of the bathroom. His jumpsuit was dripping water all over the floor and he was holding Kate in his arms. The brunette was wrapped in a towel, her hair soaking wet though her face didn't look nearly as red anymore.

Juliet didn't notice any of that because she was too busy whipping her hand out of James' boxers as Jack's mouth dropped open in shock.

He didn't ask what she was doing – since he was a doctor he probably already knew, she reasoned with herself. The situation was extremely awkward though and Juliet was certain she was blushing furiously.

Jack busied himself with getting Kate settled down in the bed next to James, sitting down heavily in the chair across from Juliet when he finished. "How's he doing?" he asked Juliet, eying James. Jack was careful to make no comment about what she'd been doing when he walked in, for which Juliet was thankful.

"Not good. He's still really warm. What about Kate? She's looking better..." Juliet trailed off, her mind going back to the conversation she'd overheard between Jin and Ted. _Oh god, don't go there_, she instructed herself, not wanting to think about what may or may not have gone on in that bathroom.

_Jack's a good guy, he's not going to take advantage of Kate like that. But if she wanted him to... _She could feel her face heating up again as her own thoughts spun out of control. _No! Jack doesn't even remember her. Nothing happened, so don't even think about it!_

"I gave her an ice bath to cool her down and she's stopped throwing up, which is a good sign. Now she just needs some sleep," Jack said, interrupting her internal conflicts. He gazed down at Kate tenderly and Juliet wondered what kind of moment they'd experienced in the bathroom.

_Stop it! Whatever Jack and Kate are doing is none of your business. It doesn't matter, all you need is James. _And she believed that, with all her heart. But some small part of her couldn't stop thinking about the way Jack lovingly held Kate's hand. He had changed so much in the few days since he had arrived back on the Island. At first he'd acting nothing but angrily towards Kate and now he wouldn't leave her side. _Maybe he does remember some things_, she thought to herself.

"Do you have any theories?" Jack asked suddenly, startling her out of her daydreams.

"What?" She wasn't quite sure what he was asking.

"About what's wrong with them? I have no explanation. This is clearly more than just a fever, but I'm not sure what."

"I don't know either. Maybe it was something they ate..." But even as she said it, Juliet knew that was a lame excuse. Food poising wouldn't have caused this.

"I want to do a blood test," Jack said absently, picking up a thermometer that was lying on the bedside table. He stuck it in Kate's mouth and waited for a few minutes, eventually pulling it back out and frowning. "Her temperature is lower, but still not where I'd like it to be. I think if I can find out what's causing this, then I can start the treatment right away."

Juliet was amazed at how clinical he sounded, going from caring friend to concerned doctor in a few seconds. "What if there is no treatment?" she asked, voicing the question she knew they were both thinking.

Jack turned to smile at her confidently. "There's always a treatment, even if it's not a guaranteed cure it will help to know more about what's going on. Trust me, I will find a way to fix this," he said, sounding like his same old self again.

Then he went back to stroking Kate's hair, whispering words of assurance to her. He was trying to sound brave for both Kate and Juliet, though in reality he was as scared as they were. He was determined not to show it however. Things were already stressful enough.

Juliet wished she could be as positive as Jack. She held James' hand anyway, even though he might not remember her when he woke up again. She wanted to be by his side, to provide support just like Jack was doing. The future was uncertain, full of unexpected surprises, but she would be with James every step of the way. No matter what.

"I love you," she whispered, those three words full of promise. That was the best she could do at the moment and she hoped it would be enough.

For a while she entertained herself with how James would react when he woke up to find ice shoved down his pants. Smiling slightly, she waited by his side, checking his temperature and trying to stay positive until he became more alert.

"Just wait until you wake up and see me playing doctor," she mumbled to him. "I know you'll get a kick out of it."

* * *

Up next: Sawyer wakes up confused and angry while Juliet finally tells Horace everything. But will he believe her? And what is this mysterious illness? ;)


	15. The Truth, Part Three

Thanks for all the wonderful reviews. Here's the next chapter, I am _so _sorry it's taken me this long to update but things have been way too busy recently. I can't promise that I will be able to update regularly now, but I will try to post chapters more often. Anyway, here's the next part. As always there is a poll at the bottom. Let me know what you think. Thanks :)

And how about that finale? Pretty amazing, huh? I'm still not sure what to think of it though...

* * *

**Chapter 15: The Truth, Part Three**

It was later in the evening when James finally opened his eyes again.

Juliet, who had been nodding off, her eyelids drooping and her head leaning farther forward, nearly fell from her chair when he started muttering to himself. A smile crept onto her tired face as he began to complain about the cold.

Once his limbs started twitching, fighting against the restraints, she rested her hand on his arm. Her touch woke him instantly and he swore loudly as he tried to open his eyes, seeing nothing.

Juliet snickered, removing the damp washcloth from his face. As soon as it was gone, his bloodshot eyes snapped open. Though he wasn't so flushed anymore, she worried about the now-pale colour of his skin.

It only took James a brief moment of staring into her face to react. "What the hell is goin' on? Dammit, where am I?"

He struggled to move his arms, doing a double-take when he saw they were handcuffed to the bed. His eyes widened when he saw the IV needle in his hand and he shuddered. Then he became aware of the cool objects pressing against his skin. His mouth dropped open in sheer horror as he felt the ice packs down his boxers.

"Son of a bitch! Did you put those down there, Blondie? Who gave ya' permission ta' play around in my pants?"

Juliet gritted her teeth, fighting to keep herself calm. It wasn't his fault he was sick, after all. But the way he was glaring at her, hatred turning his cheeks flaming red, she was tempted to slide her chair away from him.

"Why the hell are there fucking ice cubes in my goddam pants?" he roared. Shivers were running up and down his spine, the chill seeping into his very core. And waking up feeling like he'd just spent the last few months at the North Pole had put him in a very bad mood.

Juliet winced as he swore at her, proving how angry he really was. He never used so many curse words in one sentence, "It takes away the affect," he'd always say.

"Your fever was getting worse," she explained gently. "I needed to cool you down somehow."

He snorted loudly. Jack, who was slumped forward in his chair and snoring softly, grumbled restlessly. He'd wanted to wait until Kate was awake to do the blood test, so he'd stayed by her side until then, eventually falling asleep himself. Juliet leaned forward and lowered her voice, wanting to let him get a few hours of sleep before he had to play doctor again.

"If you don't believe me, see for yourself. Think about it, how do you feel right now? Better or worse?"

He glowered, trying to cross his arms over his chest and discovering, once again, that he couldn't move them. Letting out a curse, he avoided her question and asked one of his own. "Why'd ya' chain me ta' the bed? Was I not cooperatin' enough for ya'? Not bein' the good, doped-up patient ya' wanted?"

"You were delusional, James. If you don't remember that, it should be proof enough," she tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen.

"It's not," he said simply.

Juliet chewed her lip thoughtfully, searching for the right words to say. She wasn't even sure if James was hallucinating right now, if he thought she was the Juliet he knew or the Juliet who belonged with the Others, and that made it even harder to deal with him. He sounded fairly coherent, his words as clear as usual, but she couldn't be sure.

"Can ya' take the damn ice out o' my boxers now?" he asked, startling her out of her thoughts, the question sounding more like an order and she bristled automatically.

"I have to check your temperature first," Juliet replied, sticking the thermometer in his mouth before he could protest.

She'd been right, his fever had gone down, but his temperature was still higher than it should be. There were no more ice packs she could give him, though, because Jack had used the rest for Kate's ice bath. And since the ones she'd packed around James were nearly melted, she had to let them freeze for a while before they'd be useful again.

James tried to keep the smirk off his face as she first removed the ones from his armpits and then stuck her hand down his pants.

"Takin' your time, huh Sweetheart?" he teased, his voice dripping with sarcasm. She ripped the packets away from his skin, her sudden movement making him jump. "Hell! What do ya' think your doin', woman? Be careful!"

She stood up swiftly, tossing the ice packs in the freezer and sitting back down in front of him. "Okay, James. You need to calm down before your fever spikes again. So why don't you tell me what you remember and I'll try to convince you I was doing the right thing."

"Fine, but first ya' gotta take me outta these damn restraints," he commanded. "Some guys may get off on this kinda thing, but I ain't the kinda man that likes bein' tied down."

Juliet's eyes automatically darted to Jack, positive he would have something to say if she released James without asking him first. As much as she hated being bossed around, she also realized that he may have some good reasons to keep James tied down, at least for a while.

"You're going to have to wait until Jack wakes up, I want to check with him first," she said.

"Since when did ya' let someone else tell ya' what ta' do, Jules?"

"I don't, which is why I'm not going to let you order me around either. You keep forgetting that I'm just a fertility doctor, James. Jack's more accustomed to dealing with this kind of situation than me. I wasn't sure what else to do, those cuffs were a last resort," she rebutted.

James broke into a wicked grin. "I wonder how many times the Doc's had ta' use restraints..."  
Juliet smacked his arm lightly. "What do you remember?" she asked tightly, refusing to comment on his immature remarks.

He sunk lower into the bed, the fight going out of him at her words. What did he remember? Not enough.

"Why am I in the dammed Infirmary?" he asked, his gaze going to the stainless steel equipment and curtains to separate the beds that lined the room.

"Jin and Radzinsky brought you here after you passed out at the Flame. Do you remember that?"

He squinted against the bright fluorescent lighting, trying to focus. The last image in his mind was of Sayid emerging from the Flame's storage room.

"Where's Sayid?" The worry in his eyes made Juliet rub his arm soothingly. She pretended not to notice when he flinched away from her. Apparently she wasn't as forgiven as she thought.

"Radzinsky's got him locked up in the holding cell. Don't worry, he'll be safe for a while. Horace isn't going to let anything happen to him. And right now all you need to worry about it resting and getting better."

"Horace? What's he got ta' do with this?" James demanded. He hated feeling so out of the loop.

Glad that he was sounding much more like himself again, Juliet filled him in on the events that had happened while he'd been out of commission. She left out the part about his proposal, not quite sure if she was ready to mention it yet, but he didn't notice her hand reach into her pocket to nervously finger the ring she had put there, the same ring James had dropped it on the floor earlier that day.

After she finished, silence descended on the room like a blanket. Jack and Kate were both still sleeping, though the latter had become more and more restless as time went on. Juliet wondered where Horace was, if he'd gone to talk to Radzinsky.

"What are ya' gonna tell H?" James asked, reminding her of another problem.

"I was hoping you'd be able to help me with that," she said nervously, twirling a strand of hair around her finger. He grunted in amusement at her obvious discomfort.

"Well it's a good thing I'm awake, ain't it? The knight in shinin' armour comin' ta' save ya'."

Juliet scowled at his sarcasm. She hated asking favours and he knew it, clearly he was still pissed at her and wasn't afraid to show it.

"I'd tell him myself, he's my friend too. But you've spent more time with him than I have and I'm hoping he'll take pity on you because you're sick."

"How 'bout we do it together, Sweetheart? That way we can stop each other if one of us starts saying too much."

She nodded, that sounded reasonable enough. "So what do we say?" What she really meant was how much should they tell him, but James understood anyway.

He answered so quickly that Juliet had to wonder if he hadn't been thinking for a while about telling Horace himself.

"First of all, we ain't sayin' nothin' 'bout Ben, got that? If H finds out what that kid is gonna do someday, he'll flip. 'N that means we don't tell him 'bout the Purge either. Last thing we need is the entire damn Dharma Initiative in a panic."

"What about Jack? And his er, condition?" she posed the question innocently, not thinking Horace would ever need or want to know anything about Jack.

James chortled at her use of words. "It ain't some goddam disease, Blondie. 'N if it ever comes up, we can tell him the truth. Okay?"

"Fine," she answered, certain the topic of memory loss would never be brought up in a conversation with Horace any time soon. "But amnesia is a disease, James. So we can't say for sure that Jack's 'condition' isn't medical related," she quipped good-naturedly.

"I donno what's wrong with him, but it sure as hell got nothin' ta' do with a medical condition. He's gonan have ta' figure out what brought this on for himself, but for now we keep quiet 'bout it. Got that?" he said, so seriously that Juliet found herself nodding without meaning to.

"Speaking of Jack," he continued after a brief pause, "do ya' think we can wake him up 'n get me outta these cuffs now?"

As much as Juliet wanted to, she was worried by the dark circles under Jack's eyes. She looked at James sympathetically, her expression so honest that he lowered his gaze as the last of his remaining anger drained away. Everything she was doing was for his own good, he could see that, and he had a hard time staying mad at her when she was being so selfless.

"Why don't we let Jack sleep for a little bit longer, huh? He's been through a lot these past few days and he needs his rest too." She cupped her chin in her palm, thinking deeply.

James stared at her, loving the way her brow furrowed as she concentrated. He hadn't taken the time to just look at her in a while and he was reminded again of how lucky he was.

"You're a pretty good doctor, ya' know that? Ya' always take care o' me, Jules. Hell, if I wasn't strapped ta' this bed, I could marry ya' right now."

Her head jerked up, the colour draining from her face. Did he remember the proposal? Was he being sarcastic or did he really mean what he'd just said? While she couldn't admit that she didn't want him to be serious, she fervently prayed that his memory remain unclear about asking her to marry him, and her turning him down.

Seeing her panic, James rolled his eyes. "I was just kiddin' with ya', Jules. No need ta' have a heart attack." He could only hope she still had no idea about the proposal he was planning. The last thing he wanted was to ruin the surprise. And even though he had yet to decide on a specific day to make his move, he was tired of waiting and second guessing himself.

After her talk about starting a family, he'd begun thinking about it as well. What would it be like to raise a child with Juliet? Not that he'd had so many great experiences with kids in the past – he though briefly of Clementine, the daughter he'd never met – but having Juliet by his side didn't sound like such a bad future.

Now he just had to get better so he could propose to her...

"James?" she was asking. He wondered how long she'd been trying to get his attention.

"Yeah? Sorry, guess my mind was just wanderin'."

She eyed him with concern. "You're not feeling dizzy or nauseous are you?"

He shook his head. "If I was, you'd be the first ta' know. Promise." He didn't elaborate, not telling her what he'd been thinking about, but Juliet didn't push him. She had thoughts she wanted to keep private too.

"I was asking if you wanted me to read to you," she said now that she had his attention. "I might be able to find something interesting in here and it would help pass the time."

He nodded and Juliet rummaged around the drawer beside her, triumphantly pulling out a copy of _Carrie_. In her mind she flashed back to the day she'd had the bookclub meeting in her house – the same day James' plane had crashed on the Island, back when she'd been with the Others. Though she had chosen the book partly to spite Ben, it really was one of her favourites and she'd read it more times than she could count.

James smiled as she settled back down in her chair, opened the book and began to read. He was captivated by her voice, soft yet oddly expressive at the same time. He relaxed, his eyelids drooping as he fell into the world she created before him.

* * *

Juliet didn't notice James' face growing redder again, droplets of sweat pouring down his face as he shifted restlessly. He was trying not to interrupt her, was dealing with the pain so he could keep listening to her read. She was the only distraction from the increasing throbbing inside his head. At least, until he made the mistake of gasping for air.

"_If only it would be today and Jesus coming not with a lamb and a shepherd's crook, but with a boulder in each hand to crush the laughter and the snickers, to root out the evil and destroy it screaming – a terrible Jesus of blood and righteousness. And if only she could be His swo – ._"

She glanced up at his sharp intake of breath, slamming the book shut when she realized how warm he was getting.

"James, why didn't you tell me your fever was spiking again? I could have gotten you some ice," she scolded him, standing up and retrieving the ice packs from the freezer. Thankfully they were frozen once more, though she knew they would melt quickly.

"Keep readin', Blondie," he muttered, not opening his eyes even as she stuffed the cool objects against his skin again – leaving out his more private areas this time. "Don't stop 'cause o' me."  
"Oh James," she sighed. He was so stubborn, always trying to act like the tough guy. "Just give me a second okay, then I'll read to you some more," she added when he tried to sit up and was stopped by the restraints.

"Jules," he whimpered, the weakness in his voice making her worries grow. She had just sat down and started reading again, "_And if only she could be His sword and His arm," _when the blood began trailing from his nose.

"Hold on, James. You've got a nosebleed," she told him, picking up the washcloth that was still on the bedside table and wiping away the blood.

He groaned loudly and she watched in horror as blood spewed from his mouth. For a moment she was hypnotized, watching the bright red drip down his chin, until his eyes met hers and the fear in his normally calm and collected face snapped her out of it.

"Jack!" she shouted, barely glancing over her shoulder to see if the other man stirred. All she could do was keep wiping away the blood and whispering false words of assurance. She knew exactly what was happening, she may be a fertility doctor but she was a doctor nonetheless. And all doctors had at least some knowledge of hemorrhaging, the loss of blood from the circulatory system.

The fact that James was bleeding meant his illness had just gotten a whole lot worse.

Juliet was panting, her vision filled with black spots, when Jack grabbed her arm to steady her. "He's gonna be okay," he said reassuringly and, as serious as the situation was, she believed him.

"Just hang in there, okay Sawyer? I need you to stay with me, you've gotta do your best to stay awake," Jack ordered, taking control immediately now that he'd had time to assess the problem. "Juliet, can you wet this washcloth some more? It has to be damp or it's not going to do anything. And get another one for his forehead, his fever is getting worse."

He kept talking to James, doing his best to keep the blonde man awake while Juliet carried out his orders. "Where are the other staff members?" Jack asked as she returned holding the dripping cloths.

"I don't know. They left a while ago," she replied, laying the cloth on James' overheated skin. He'd begun to shake, the blood flowing more freely now and she was starting to panic.

"You have to go find them, Juliet. He's going to need a blood transfusion and we can't do this on our own," he said absently, his attention focused on pressing the cloth against James' nose, trying to lessen the blood flow.

She stared at him openmouthed, taking in what he'd just said. "But I don't think we have any extra blood bags right now. We're supposed to get a shipment of them next week..."

"We'll have to find a donor," Jack said calmly.

"Who? No one here knows their blood type except for me and ours aren't the same. His is – "

"It doesn't matter, I'm O-, universal donor, so I can give him some of mine."

She frowned, forgetting about James' predicament and instead focusing her entire attention on Jack. "You are in no shape to be giving blood, Jack," she said seriously.

He waved away her concern, he'd never been one to care much about his own well-being. "You need to get the other doctor and the nurses, Juliet. We have to start the transfusion as soon as possible."

"I'm not leaving him," she whispered, taking James' hand in hers.

Jack was about to argue, looking behind his shoulder at Juliet, when a scream caught his attention and his mouth opened in a silent gasp of terror.

"Kate, no!"

* * *

The first sensation Kate had when she woke up was of being dizzy. She opened her mouth to groan softly but was startled to feel a drop of something run into her mouth. The coppery taste of blood in her mouth made her shriek loudly.

Jack, who had been standing beside Sawyer's bed, nearly tripped over his own feet trying to reach her. "What's going on?" he asked and Kate wanted to smile at the worried tone in his voice.

Under his concerned gaze, she suddenly felt like a fool. Screaming because of a little blood? What the hell was wrong to her?

"Sorry," she mumbled, embarrassed. "I must have bit my tongue or something. Guess I'm just a bit jumpy today, I didn't meant to scare you."

Jack relaxed, unthawing from his frozen stance. But as she watched him, Kate saw his expression slowly turn to one of horror.

"What?" she asked as he continued to stare at her.

"Kate, you're bleeding," he managed to say. She barely had time to wipe the trickle of blood from her nose before she was leaning over the bed, throwing up violently on the floor.

She recognized the bright red colour, even though her vision was dimming quickly. Through her fog she heard Jack shouting something about "hemorrhaging." She didn't know what that meant and didn't have the energy to care.

Another wave of nausea hit her, sending her retching by the side of her bed again. She could feel Jack pulling her hair out of her face, his strong hands holding her up as she hung there, half on the bed and half off.

Her limbs were too heavy to move now, it was all she could do to hold Jack's arm tightly. Then whatever remaining strength she had drained away, leaving her weak and unable to move. She hung there, limp and quivering from exhaustion and fever, until it all became too much and she passed out. The blood that was still trailing from her nose was the last sensation she felt before the world erupted in a field of darkness.

Jack closed his eyes for a moment, trying to find the strength to do what would come next. He would save Kate if it was the last thing he did.

"Get the others," he told Juliet quietly. His soft voice, filled with desperation, was what made her obey without argument.

"Take care of James too," she said. As she raced out the door, Juliet looked back one more time to see Jack tenderly brushing a strand of hair away from Kate's face. She sighed. There was no way she'd be able to convince Jack not to give his blood now. He would do anything for Kate, even though he may not remember her as much as he should, there was still a very strong connection between the two of them.

The door slammed shut behind her, cutting off the tender scene and sounding oddly final, as she ran forward, searching desperately for the medical team and wondering what more this illness would do before they could stop it.

* * *

**Poll: **Should Juliet tell Jack her suspicions of Kate being pregnant before she undergoes a blood transfusion?


	16. Discovery

Although I seem to be saying this a lot, once again I am sorry it's taken me so long to update. I've been really busy these past few weeks and have had very litte inspiration for this fic. But I am trying to update more regularly now, so look forward to the next chapter soon. A huge thank you to **K. Palafox**, I would have never been able to write this chapter without your help. :)

* * *

**Chapter 16: Discovery**

When Juliet returned with the doctor and few nurses she could find trailing behind her, she immediately noticed that Jack had pushed the beds together and hooked Kate up to an intravenous line, not unlike the one already connected to James. She stood there for a moment, watching Jack finish injecting something into Kate's arm.

"Aprotinin," he said in response to her questioning look. "To help their blood clot more easily."

Juliet's eyes moved to James, who had managed to remain awake and was pressing a washcloth to his own nose. His restraints had been taken off; evidently Jack thought his fever and delusions were of the least concern right now.

"He stopped bleeding a few minutes ago, but I told him to keep applying pressure in case it started again." Jack's voice caught her attention and she found him watching her intently.

"Good idea," she said, feeling guilty that she'd been forced to leave him to deal with both Kate and James on his own.

Remembering why she'd raced out of the Infirmary in the first place, Juliet indicated the medical personnel she had brought with her, who were now bustling around the Infirmary.

"What should everyone do?" she asked, displeasure of their abandonment clear in her voice. A few of the nurses who heard shifted uncomfortably, even though she was nothing more than a mechanic to them and had no authority over anyone.

"We need to start prepping the patients for transfusions," Jack said, his words ringing loudly throughout the small space. Everyone listened attentively. "And we need to find out their blood types," he continued. "I'll check with Kate, someone else ask James. Do a blood test if necessary, but see if he knows first."

Nodding obediently, the staff members quickly got to work.

"I'm going to need some needles and plastic tubing too," Jack added. "We have to hurry, before their bleeding gets worse."

As everyone else bustled around the tiny room, getting things ready, Jack sat down beside Kate's bed, his gaze fixed on the ancient hospital screen she was attached to. He wasn't impressed that the Infirmary didn't have any more up-to-date machinery, but it would have to do. At least it allowed him to monitor her vital signs and keep her stable.

The brunette was still out cold although she was no longer bleeding, and he wanted to make sure it stayed that way. Jack bent his head, leaning closer until every breath she took tickled his face.

"Kate?" he said, speaking her name with a tenderness he hadn't known he was capable of. She stirred restlessly, fighting against the dense fog that seemed to surround her.

"Kate, I need you to wake up now."

She let out a moan, her eyelids fluttering softly. The harsh light that filled her vision made her shut her eyes quickly, though a bright red glare still lingered in front of her.

"It...hurts so much," she managed to gasp. Her arms and legs were aching, a slow steady throb that wracked her to the core. And as she ran her tongue around the inside of her mouth, she realized it was incredibly dry. But she didn't have the energy to tell Jack she was thirsty.

"I know," he replied comfortingly, taking her hand and rubbing his thumb in small circles around it. She sighed contentedly. "And I'm sorry for waking you, but I need you to focus for a minute, okay? This is important." He waited for a sign to show she was listening and, receiving none, continued anyway.

"What's your blood type?"

She heard the question as if from a great distance. All her attention was locked on his touch, while slowly the pain receded to the back of her mind, temporarily forgotten.

"Kate? You have to answer me. You need a transfusion right away, but I can't do anything unless I know what type of blood you have."

_No one knows their blood type. I don't know my bloody blood type! _The voice echoing through Jack's mind sounded all too familiar and at once a name flashed in his head. Charlie. Then another; Boone.

The names struck a chord within Jack, sending a flood of guilt into his mind, though he had no idea why. And all of a sudden he was reminded again of just how much he didn't know or understand about this place and these people.

Ignoring his sudden feeling of foreboding, he focused on Kate once more; she was his patient at the moment and her well-being was his greatest concern. For now, though he wasn't sure how much longer he could go without answers to some of his many questions.

"O negative," Kate whispered, drawing his attention back down to her.

Jack looked at her, his ears straining to hear more. "O negative? Is that your blood type, Kate?"

After Boone's death, one thing Kate made sure to do once she got off the Island was find out her blood type. She'd told Jack, back when they had been living together, but of course he didn't remember that conversation now.

She struggled to answer his question again.

"O...negative," she repeated, though the effort it took to say those two simple words was tremendous.

"Okay," he said, standing up and going to find Juliet, though not before giving Kate's hand one last squeeze. Walking away, so intent on finding Juliet, Jack didn't hear Kate as she whispered pleadingly:

"Don't leave me, Jack. Please don't leave me."

* * *

"Kate is O neg."

Juliet eyed him quizzically as he walked toward her.

"Aren't you – " she began, thinking of the file the Others had kept. She remembered reading his blood type there.

Jack nodded, not concerned how Juliet already seemed to know the answer to her question.

"Yeah, I'm O negative too. Universal donor, which is good. That way my blood won't send her into anaphylactic shock. It's a near perfect match, the best thing for her other than her own."

"You sure you want to do this? We could always..." She fell silent, unable to come up with an alternative.

"We could always what? You said there weren't any blood bags here and if we wait to get some more or – god forbid – take them to a real hospital, it would be too late. They're probably bleeding internally right now and have to get transfusions before they start bleeding into their brains.

"Kate needs blood and she needs a direction transfusion, which I can give to her. I think that's the least I can do, after everything she's done for me."

Juliet blinked, wishing Kate could have heard Jack's words. He really did appreciate the help she was trying to give him, no matter how cynical he acted towards her or the truth she kept pushing at him.

And how could Juliet stop him from repaying Kate now?

"Fine, but I'm watching to make sure you don't give even one more ounce than necessary," she said, knowing what Jack could be like. She earned a rueful smile in return.

"And before you ask," she added, "James is AB positive. I've already sent someone to go look for potential donors, though I doubt we'll find any perfect matches. It's a pretty uncommon type."

"At least he's a universal recipient. That way he can receive blood from anyone if necessary," Jack told her. Juliet could tell where this was going and she was already shaking her head before he finished talking.

"You are not donating to James _and_ Kate. We will find someone else, Jack. I'll donate to him myself if necessary, but you can't lose that much blood."

Her words reminded Jack of something else he'd meant to do. "I want to do a CBC. On both of them, to see if we can figure out what is causing this."

"A blood test? They've already lost so much blood..." Juliet told him doubtfully, not about to take any unnecessary risks.

"It's only a little bit and if we don't find out why they're bleeding, they're both going to lose even more." When she still didn't look convinced, he continued. "If this is contagious, we have to know so we can stop it from spreading. And if it's not, then we still should know what's going on before we give them any meds."

Juliet remained silent, thinking about the different options. Truth be told, she trusted Jack's opinions more than her own, since he was a more experienced doctor, but she still wasn't about to rush into any situation right now.

"Please, Juliet?" Jack asked her sincerely, well aware that time to sit and think was currently in short supply.

"I could really use your help right now. I'm stuck here – I have no idea where _here _even is – with a very limited array of medical equipment, most of it looking like it's from the 70's. And," he snuck a glance around the room, eying the other staff members then lowering his voice, "you seem like the only one who knows a thing about medicine."

Juliet chuckled, though she had an unfair advantage over the others. Their medical knowledge was thirty years out of date, which Jack had no way of knowing.

But another internal struggle was going on in her head. After settling in at Dharma, Juliet had vowed never to practice medicine again. She was happy with her job at the Motor Pool and hadn't wanted to deal with any more life or death situations. Delivering Amy's baby was a one time thing, she'd reasoned with herself then, but now it seemed as though she was helping at the Infirmary more and more often.

She wanted to help, but she couldn't stand it if something happened to Kate or – she didn't even want to think it – James because of her. Although it was true that she'd be more helpful than the other staff members, she reasoned with herself.

If anyone was going to make a mistake, it would be them. And this time she would be able to stop that from happening.

"Okay, I'll get one of the nurses to run the test," she said to Jack, walking away towards James' bed.

"Thanks," he said gratefully. "I'll get Kate's blood. Where are the syringes?"

Juliet pointed at the top drawer of a counter, then sat down beside James – who had fallen back asleep – and held his hand tenderly.

Jack grabbed a syringe and was standing over Kate, about to press the needle into her arm when he noticed something.

Her skin was covered in an ugly red rash, with bruising trailing up and down her arms. The bruises, he knew, were signs of her blood vessels leaking blood. But he didn't know where the rash had come from.

Leaning down to examine it further, a tiny red bump caught his eye. It took him a moment to realize it was nothing more than a mosquito bite. For some reason the tiny bite stirred something at the back of his mind. He frowned in concentration, trying to remember why such a small dot was so important, until it finally hit him.

"Juliet," he called across the room to her. "Can you check to see if James has any mosquito bites?"

She stared at him. "What? Why?"

"Trust me, just look."

He waited as she scanned first his arms then his legs, and when she nodded slowly, he almost sighed in relief. Not because he knew how to cure them, but because the mystery had finally been solved.

"Tell me what's going on," Juliet demanded, her anxious tone wiping away Jack's momentary feeling of calm.

"I think they have Dengue Fever," he said. Juliet's mouth dropped open and he could see her going over the symptoms in her mind. When she finally came to the same conclusion he had, Jack watched a grim understanding fill her eyes.

"We can run a tourniquet test to confirm," he decided. "If it's positive – "

"No we can't," Juliet said, cutting him off. "We don't have the equipment for that. And it would take too long. James and Kate still need those transfusions, fast, and we don't have time to waste."

Jack thought about that for a moment, running his hands through his short hair in frustration.

"We should still do a CBC, making sure to check the platelet count, and an IgG ELISA to look for Dengue viral antibodies. But the bleeding is a sign of Dengue Hemorrhagic Fever, so you're right; they need the transfusions right away."

Juliet watched as Jack leapt into action, ordering the nurses to collect blood samples while he prepped them for transfusions. She couldn't believe that she hadn't put the signs together earlier.

And yet, something was still nagging at her, taking away her concentration. Jack wasn't lying, all the symptoms did fit, so why didn't it feel right? She worried that she was missing something glaringly obvious.

Letting her mind wander, Juliet thought back to this morning when she had walking in on Kate throwing up in the bathroom. Now her nausea made sense – it was part of the illness – but something else she'd said made Juliet's stomach drop.

_I think I was feeling dizzy this morning, but I probably got out of bed too fast._

What if it hadn't been the blood rushing to her head? What if Kate's dizziness and exhaustion had another explanation?

She knew what it had to mean, in clinical terms at least, but she had no idea what this would do to Kate. Not now, not with everything else that was going on. Juliet was also fairly certain how it had happened. If she had to guess, she would bet that she was right, which only complicated matters more. She wasn't supposed to be the one to tell Jack, that was for Kate to do.

But under the circumstances, she had to be the one to do it. Feeling immensely guilty but knowing how necessary this was, Juliet caught Jack's attention and waved him over.

"What is it?" he asked distractedly, too busy worrying about his patients to care what Juliet had to say.

Nevertheless, taking a deep breath, Juliet apologized silently to Kate for what she was about to do and, for the second time that day, uttered the words she had never wanted to hear from anyone on this Island again.

"I think Kate's pregnant."

* * *

And the plot thickens. Up next: Sawyer and Kate finally get those blood transfusions, but who will be Sawyer's donor? And the truth is revealed about Kate and her pregnancy.


End file.
